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Sardar, We Are Following You. Boss: Where were you born? Sardar: India .. Boss: which part? Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India. 2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car. Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more. Sardar: What is the name of your car? Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol. Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken. Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one. At the scene of an accident a Men was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that Men. He has lost his head. Is he crying? Sardar: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! ' In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ..... Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Sardar: An old king's skeleton. Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it? Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child. Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'." An EnglishMen, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector . The EnglishMen says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent. The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine. Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Santa was having a tough time carrying his machine. Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?" Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!! Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied: "I am thanking Him for seeing to that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too." A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back." One great day in Bombay, One young couple was on honeymoon tour. They saw one Sardarji in front of Hospital ( Breach Candy ) was trying to fill some form. So eagerly couple enquired " aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho " Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. Young Couple, as per schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next destination. On the very next day, they find the same Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple curiously asked "Aare Sardarji kya kar raahe ho" sardarji once again replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. Couple said, "But sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form. Why are you in Delhi ?". Sardaji cooly replied "Aare Saab Ye form mein leekha hey ke FILL IN CAPITAL" Aap ko etna bhi patta nahi hai .. Ha Ha Ha..... A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The Menager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the Men replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ". SantaSingh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone, anyway." A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing. The bystander,"A Marathon race is going on. Sardar : What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize Sardar : Then why are the others running? Then there`s the one about the Sardarji who brought his binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of his... The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It`s very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain." Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder. "Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?" "Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how Meny, can I have one?" "You can have both of them." "OK, Five?" Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by an air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat, which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the airhostess. The airhostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the airhostess went and told the asst Capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immediately left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji. Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar." Sardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before! As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in front of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach. He picked the roach and put it in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg. He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach could not! Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore". Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a green one, please." Sardarji proposes to a Women. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!" Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" " Just a sec," comes an answer "Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up! Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway Men. "Can I?" asks Gani Singh. Once two Americans were playing chess, then Santa and Banta Singh arrived and asked, "Wanna play doubles?" Q. What did the sardarrji say when he saw a banana peel? A. Ab phisalna padega! What did the sardar say when he saw 2 banana peels? A. Iss par phisloon ya uspar? How do you keep a sardarji busy? Ask him to sit in the corner of a round room. Or better still write PTO on both sides of a paper and hand it over to him. Did you hear about the Surd that got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize he could play it at night! What do u call a sardar who drinks only beer? Jus-beer singh! Question: What do you call a sardarji who lives and can breathe under water? Answer: Jull-under Singh Gill. Q: What do you call a Sardar with one hair? A: Iq-bal Singh What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh. What do you call a sikh guy running towards the enemy camp with a white flag in his hand? Surrender Singh What is a bald sardarji is called? BAL-WANT SINGH Question: Why did Santa Singh go to the movie with 17 friends? Answer: Because it was an 'Adult' movie. A sardar is travelling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member". This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs are approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata " Do u know What Surdarji will do after taking Xerox? He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !! Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street that has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says, "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Men took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same Men asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says, "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder." Mr Harpreet Singh Gulati is travelling from Moscow to TurbanPore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time. Gulati : "Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion" Gary : "How about if I play left handed ?" Gulati : [Think.. Think..] "OK!" Gulati is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset throughout the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Menpreet Singh. Gulati : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed... Menpreet : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT- HANDED!! Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and screamed when he saw his face in the mirror. His wife asked "What's the matter?" Sardarji said "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else !!" Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices," said Banta. "It said, 'FINE FOR PARKING `HERE'." Santa singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "one who reads it is an ass." santa singh got mad, thought for an hour, erased the previous message and wrote back, "one who wrote it is an ass." How do you make a Sardar laugh on a Sunday? Tell him a joke on a Friday! Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. What happened? asked Surjit. I lost Rs.1000 in a bet yesterday. How come? Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet. But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go? I bet on the highlights too..

Vinit R. Agarwal | Sitemap | Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | Website Disclaimer | Internet Copyright Notice | Subscribe | Cash Back | Contact | About