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Short Messages: Is Infinite. For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness. Gud morning. Sharabi pati: Darwaja kholo Wife ne darwaja khola. Pati: tu kaun hai? Wife: AILA mujhko hi bhul gaya ! Pati: nasha hr gum bhula deta hai BEHAN. Desire and Peace cannot dwell together, even as light and darkness cannot live together.... WHEN GOD ASKED - "What is forgiveness" - a little girl gave this lovely reply, "It's the wonderful smell that a flower gives when its being crushed" Kyon chalti hai pawan bcoz of evaporaton, kyon jhume hai gagan bcoz of earths rotaton, na tum jano na hum,kyon gum hai har disha bcoz u hav poor sense of directon,kyon hota hai nasha bcoz of drug addicton,kyon aata hai mza bcoz u enjoy de situaton,na tum jano na hum,kyon aati hai bahar bcoz of change in sea tides...... Lagta hai science class me dhyaan nahi diya... Nice lines of life: The tree does not withdraw its shade from the woodcutter. So, Love even those who hurt U. they vil realise your worth someday. TEACHER - Kabir ka koi doha sunao. LITTLE MARWADI child ans -"Kabir SALO bewkUf, Doha diyo BANAAY, Khud to salo KHISAK gyo, Menne diyo FASSAY... Height of Embarresment: Men sitting with his wife in a bar. A call girl walks up to him & says: "KUM PAISE DOGE TO AISI HI MILEGI ".. Q. Do u knw the name of boy who can shake the moon ?? A. His name is "Chandrashekhar " "Meny relations will come into life as just rain on ocean, but only some will take the best place like the drop which fortunately becomes a pearl... 1 machar ek ganje k sir par baitha tha to dusra machar bola:Are wah,tuje to bda acha ghar mila hai. Phela machar:Abe yar ghar nahi abhi to sirf plot mila hai. Golden Words : kisi ki Madad Karte Waqt Uske chehre Ki Taraf Mat Dekho, Kyonki Kahi Uski Sharminda Aankhe Tumhare DiL Me Garur Ka Beez N Bo De..!! Suprabhat. Santa : aji, Coffee jara jaldi jaldi piyo. Wife : kyon ? Kyonki yahan likha hai "coffee rs. 10 aur cold coffee rs. 25. Money is small coin, Health is big coin, Love is lucky coin, Friendship is sweet coin But Relationship' is a ''Gold'' coin Keep it safe Love at first sight is possible, but it's always a good idea to take a second look?.... Gmorning...xxx What Did The Gangster's Son Tell His Dad When He Failed In His Examination? => Dad, They Questioned Me For 3 Hours But I Never Told Them Anything! If people criticise you, hurt you or shout at you don't be bothered, Always Remember "In every game only the Spectators make noise, not the player Old age is when you turn off lights for economical reasons rather than roMentic reasons! Kyon dare zindagi mein kya hoga, kuch na hoga toh tajurba toh hoga. Om Namah Shivaye. Between yesterdays mistakes & 2moros hope lies a fantastic opportunity, its called "today" utilise it 2 full ! If u stand for a reason, be prepared to stand alone like Tree.. If u fall on d ground,fall as a Seed tat grows back to fight again.. Dare to live.. Santa and his wife Preeto were on an safari when a lion suddenly dragged preeto. Preeto shouted- Shoot him! Santa- Wait, let me change the battery of my camera. Biggest Mystery of Maths: 1000s of years Passed, Millions of Theorems Derived, Crores of Formulas made, But still.. X is unknown & XXX is Well known ... Lord of Success,Destroyr of Obstacles,May Maa durga Bless You with Knowledge n Wealth! Wish u n ur family happy Navratri Jai maa Durga. n Shubo Bijoyo in adv Ladki Wale - Hume aisa Ladka Chaiye Jo Kuch khata pita na ho aur Galat Kam to bilkul Na karta Ho. Pandit - Aisa Ladka to apko ICU k Emergnecy ward me hi Milega. Ek SHARABI SADHU se TAKRA Gaya.. SADHU Gusse Mein:- Ae Murkh, Main Tujhe SHRAAP Deta Hu. SHARABI:- Rukiye Maharaj! Main Glass Lekar Aata hu. Zindagi mein log milte hai "every time" achche lagte hai "some time" dost bante hai "one time"par yaad rahte hai "life time". Gd morni!! If n egg is broken with outside force, a life ends & if an egg breaks with inside force, a life begins. Transformation always begins from inside. Sardar in bio practical exam. Exmnr: see d birds leg & tell its name. Sardar: i dont know. Exmnr: u fail.whats ur name? Sardr: now u see my leg & tel my name! Santa sitting on roadside Banta ask y r u wasting time? Santa:i m taking revenge Banta:how Santa:waqt ne mujhe barbad kia he,ab mein waqt barbad kar raha hoon Didnt you notice Today s date ? its 20 09 2009 :-) Too Meny new things this year !! "Beautiful Life is just an Imagination... But Life is more Beautiful than Imagination''... So enjoy each and every moment of life....B-) True care will never go unrecognized, though one often makes mistake in valuing it, but will definitely understand once they start missing it...:-) A Men Wit a Gun Goes Into a Bank & DeMends Their Money. Once e Is Given De Money, He Turns 2 a Customer & Asks, "Did u c Me Rob Dis Bank?" De Men Replied, "Yes Sir, I Did," DeRobber Den Shot Him,Killing Him Instantly. He Den Turned 2 a Couple Standing Nxt 2 Him & Asked De Men,"Did u c Me Rob Dis Bank?" De Men Replied, "No Sir, I Didn't, Bt My Wife Did!"? Moral:- When OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS, MAKE USE OF IT. Don't Place Ur Mistakes on Ur Head, Its Weight May Crush U. Place Them Under Ur Feet to Be Used As a Platform to reach Higher.(GudMrng) What is Fashion Designing? Too Meny brains working on Too little clothes with Too Meny ideas on how to cover Tooooo little areas... MAA KI JYOTI SE NOOR MILTA HAI, SABKE DILON KO SUKUN MILTA HAI, JO BHI JATA HAI MAA KE DWAAR, KUCH NA KUCH ZAROOR MILTA HAI, ¤ HAPPY NAVRATRI... A Hapy Lyf Does Not Mean Evry Thing Around U Is Perfect... It Means Choosing 2 B Hapy Inspite Of Knowing D Fact Dat Lyf Can Never B Perfect.. Ultimate pj.. Ravan decides to apologise to Ram, knocks D door, Ram opens. Ravan stands thinking. guess what????? Guess! Kis mooh se mafi Mengu???!!! "There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem." A Men lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. An Women passing by remarks- "If U were any sort of a gentleMen, U would lift your hat to a lady." He replied- "If U were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself!" Women worries about the future -until she gets a husband. Men never worries about the future -until he gets a wife. Santa went to Hospital for advice on Family Planinng Saw notice at GATE: "For Family Planinng USE REAR ENTRY" He went back home & lived happily...! Q: What is the definition of old age? A: When it takes the 'whole night' to do 'once', what you 'once' used to do the 'whole night' "PRAYER is Not an Attempt to Change GOD's Mind, But An Attempt To Let GOD Change Our Minds..!" Good morning. Wife: If I sleep with your most loving friend, what will be the first thought that would come to your mind? Smart Husband: That you are a lesbian...! Srdr k sar se khoon nikal raha tha!! dr: ye kaise hua? srdr: me hatho se patthar tod raha tha, to kisi ne kaha, "paji, kabhi to apna sar istemal karo" ! ! Professor:Wud u like 2 marry a grl 20yrs younger or 20yrs elder to u? Student:It depends on who's beautiful.. Whether ur daughter or ur wife..! When people do Ooh! Aah ! Ouch ! from 1O pm to 3 am, It's SEX at work. . . But . When they do the same from 1O am to 3 pm, It's SENSEX AT WORK Teachr to mallu student: Who is d son of Gandhiji? Mallu: DINESHAN Tchr: Who told U dis? Mallu: Frm std 1 v r taught that Gandhiji is the father of Dineshan Lady on Fone: I Think ur d Father of 1 of my Kids! Men: Oh God ! R u Ms Khan? Ms Kumar? or Ms Dubey? Lady in confusion: No I am ur Son's Class Teacher Heart of boys is like a temple! Holy, Truthful, Pure... Thats why, when boys say 'I LUV U', Girls remove their slippers..!! Excellent saying- "Failure also looks beautiful,when you have a loved one to support you,success also hurts,when you dont have a loved one to wish you" A True APOLOGY Has 3 Parts: 1. I'm SORRY 2. It's my FAULT & 3. What Can I Do To Make it RIGHT. Most Of Us MISS The 3rd Part. Suprabhat. A funny but true fact - ??A Men's Success is often due to the 1st Women in his life.... ??And the 2nd Women in life is often due to his Success..! D Sun shines everywhere but crop grows only where d farmer has worked hard God is everywhere but His Grace is felt by 1 who serves with a noble heart.. One UKG studnt ragging LKG boy says: on ur marriage i'll kiss ur wife. Lkg stdnt: Ok fine, but im going to marry ur sister..! Golden Wrds of BillGates: "Wnevr der is a hard job 2 b dn, I assign it 2 a lazy Men as He is sure 2 find an easy way of doing it.." so be LAZY think CRAZY..;-) Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Ek Aadmi Ne Conductor Se Pucha: Aap Kitne Ghante Bus Me Rahte Ho? Jawab: 24 Ghante. Wo Kese? Jawab Mila: 8 Ghante City Bus Me 16 Ghante BIWI Ke "basme" Lalu : Vidwano Ne Kaha Hai, Ki Murkh Aadmi Ki Biwi Bahut Sundar Hoti Hai ! Raabdi : Dhat, Aap Ke Paas To Hamaar Taarif Ke Alawa Kono Kaam Hi Naahi Hai !!.. I may walk slowly but i never walk backwards. - Abraham Lincon. U walk... I don't need to walk bcoz i have a bike. - Sardar.... "THIS MOMENT IS NOT PERMenENT IN LIFE" Read the above line whenever you are Happy and Sad,... ...... It works HONESTLY....... A Very Busy Husband : "Dear You Never tell me How Much you enjoy Sex....?" WIFE (annoyingly) : "How can I tell..? You are Never at Home Whenever I enjoy"! G' Morn! "Challenges r lk trees seen thru a runnig train. As u approach thm they grow bigger. Once u pass thm they becom smaller! So never b afraid of them" HB. DiL Ke Operation ko BYEPASS Q kehte He? Socho Q Ke Agar operation thik ho Gaya to PASS Wrna BYE. :) Train me Ek Macchar Chinese par baitha, Chinese usko pakad ke kha gaya !! Phir ek macchar marwadi pe baitha Usne pakad ke Chinese se pucha "KHARIDEGA KYA ??" Bhikari ne phone Kiya- Hallo Taj Hotel? Taj- Ha Ji. Bikari-1Piza, 1Biryni, 1Cake Bhej Do. Taj- Kiske Nam Se Bheju Sir? Bikari- Allah K Nam Pe Bhej do A Men was walking on a shaking bridge. He prayed for help.. He saw God on the other side of the bridge & asked God to come near, but God didn't come!! Men got angry. With great difficulty, he crossed to the other side and saw God holding the broken bridge! Trust Him.. His ways are always amazing.. Pappu to God: Plz give me 1 bag full of MONEY,a JOB &1 BIG vehicle full of girls!! God : TATHASTU Today Pappu is BUS-CONDUCTOR in Govt girls COLLEGE. The Company of good people is like the shop of perfumes, whether you buy or not, You will still get GOOD FRAGRANCE. Thanks for U R fragrance. Good day 3 dreams of a Men: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as Meny Women as his wife suspects.? Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai. Wife: Woh Kya? Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi! Today is Teachers Day ..... Any other Whisky is not allowed. Days are too busy, Hours are too fast, Seconds are too few, But there is always time for me to remember a sweet person like "Y" "O" "U"... Gud DAY..!! A relationship doesn't shine by just shaking hands in best time.. But it blossoms by holding hands firmly in critical situations. What is the worst thing about Gang Rape?''....Wait for your turn !! Leave aplication by a kid:O my Master Wen i Come, Water Rain chum chum, Leg my fisla Gira mai Dhadam, Niche my bag n Upar was hum, isliye 2dy i cant come!.. A Psychology report .... When 2 Couples come face to face, WIVES look at each other's saris and HUSBANDS look at each other's wives. :) Rivers dont drink Water, They carry... Trees dont Eat Fruits, they Bear.. Clouds dont Bathe, they Shower.. So lets Perform our Karma Shoe that fits 1 Person pinches another. There is no Recipe for Success that suits all cases! Life's Truth is that v get OLD too soon & WISE too late! GM. HB. Gang of sardars broke a bnk , bt instead of cash they found glasses ful of lassi . Happily they drink lassi n left . Nxt dys headline - SPERM BANK LOOTED Chuhe ne haati se kaha I love u..Haati ne bola-kya tujhe dar nahi lagta?? Chuhe ne Ganesh ji ka photo dhikha ke bola "Tujme Rab Dikta hai yara mai kya karu" In ths Era of E-mail, E-paper, E-recharge, E-Transfer, E-commerce: Never forget E-SHWAR who makes E-verythng E-asy for E-veryone E-very Day. HAVE a nice Day Men staring at the Girl's T-Shirt with Plane on front; Girl: Never seen a plane before? Men: NEVER SEEN SUCH AN AIRPORT!! Grammer class.. Teacher- Peter does not flirt with girls. What is Peter in the sentence ? Student- Miss, Peter is a Gay... A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Isme One Missing Hai? pade likhe hokar 2bar Padhte Ho? Sharam Nhi Ati? ABCD Me"one" Kaha hota hai? One Of The Best Advertisements By A Panty Company.. "We May Not Be The Best In The World.. But..We Are Closest To The Best Thing In The World...!" Can't believe ! After all the SHIT that's happenned between them, They are still together !?! ..... WHO? YOUR BUMS (_;_) ^ To realize the value of : 1year- Ask some1 who failed in an examination 1month- Ask some1 who has not received salary; 1week- Ask some1 who stayed in relative's home; 1day- Ask some1 who is in fasting. 1hour- Ask some1 who is waiting for his lover. 1min- Ask some1 who had just missed the train. 1sec- Ask some1 who had escaped frm accident. Every moment is a treasure. Yestrday is history, tomorow is a mystery but today is a gift, so we call it PRESENT. Good morng;hav a nc day. WHOS GUILTY? Wife Dreaming In midNite & Suddenly Shouts, "Quick My Husband Is Back" Men Gets Up Jumps Out de Window & Realizes "Shit,Im de Husband" GUD DAY. Techr:Apne Papa ka nam English me btao. Student:BEAUTIFUL RED UNDERWEAR. Teachr:What Nonsense,Iska matlab kya hua. Stdt:SUNDER LAL CHADDA... HEIGHTS OF BRAVERY-Entering Late In The Class Withut Permission And Saying To Maam: HEY SWEETY CARRY ON..DN'T STOP 4 ME.....:-) GudMornin A 20 year girl to a Tattoo artist: How much for drawing an animal on my knee? Artist-Rs.300 for Tiger, Rabbit or a Lion, BUT "Girraffe" is free! What do Women & Unit Linked Insurance Policy hav in common? They are both attractive, expensive, difficult 2 understand & what u actually get is not Guaranteed Friend - Why did the Air hostess slap U ? Sardar: Yaar,her skirt was trapped in her ass,i just took it out.She got very upset. . . . . So i tucked it back. "The Size of Candles may differ but they yield the same BRIGHTNESS". "It is not the matter of your position, but your ability that SHINES". GooD mORNINg ! HB A Hot Secretary Came Angrily Out Of Boss Cabin Colleague Askd: what happend? She Replied He asked r u free 2nite? I said yes & bastrd gv me 50 Pages 2 type ! Amazing : Why do the words "I love you" needs an answer, though all of us know it is not a question.. :) Q- GHAJINI me Aamir Khan Ki Body Itni Jaldi kyon bni Ans- Q K Aamir Khan 1 Bar gym Jata Tha 15 mint bad bhul jata tha Phir Dubara Chala Jata tha. Son asked his dad the difference between LOVE, BELIEF, and RELIEF. Father says; your Mom is my LOVE. Our maid is my RELIEF & I'm your dad- well, thats my BELIEF We all are very lucky to see this month of AUGUST 2009 as it has 5-Saturdays, 5-Sundays and 5-Mondays. It will come again after 823 years. 6 Sardars & 1 gujarati were Hanging Below Helicopter on Rope. Pilot : one must Leave B'coz of Overload. Gujarati : I will Sacrifice. All Sardars "CLAPPED! Sindhi owner to empioyees :U all worked hard this year ,so here R your bonus cheques.If u keep working hard ,i'll sign them next year!! A lovely logic for life..! ''Never try to maintain Relations in ur life., Just try to maintain Life in Ur relations..!! A sweet relationship is like a pillow... When tired, U sleep on it..When sad, U drop tears on it..When angry, U punch it.. N when happy, U hug it !!:) "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are" ... Kurt Cobain. Why is it that when someone is in the heart, the heart feels lighter and it feels heavy when someone leaves it ?? Strange.. 3 FACTS ON EARTH.. 1ST FACT-U CAN'T TOUCH ALL UR TEETH WID UR TOUNGE. 2ND FACT-AFTER READING DIS ALL WILL TRY THIS.. 3RD FACT-NW U WILL SMILE.. BOY offering a drink... GIRL: "No, whisky is bad for my legs." BOY:Legs? Tht is strange, do they pain or swell? GIRL:No,they spread. Happy Independence Day ! Francis Morning is a wonderful opportunity 4 u 2... ...pray, .. love, .. care, .. smile And to Think of Wonderful People like ME ! "GOOD MORNING" In a 100 meter race, It was announced "1 2 3 start". All started running except Sardar. Coach: why are you still waiting. Sardar: my no is 4....u told only 123 only to run sir ...coach. ? Keep smiling ud mrng have a nice dayB-) Every problem in a life carries a gift inside it. So,Whenever u loose something don't get upset. bcoz,something may wait 4 u, more than u lost. smile is electricity & life is battery whnever u smile the battery gets charged & a beautiful day is activated so keep smiling gud mrng On the holy occasion of ONAM,with the atmosphere filled with spirit of bliss & love,here's hoping this festival brings you Happiness that stays wit u forever Never a trial that He is not there, never a burden that he does not bear, never a sorrow that He does not share every moment u r under His care =--..__..-=-._. !=--..__..-=-._; !=- -..@..-=-._; !=--..__..-=-._; ! ! ! Jai Hind Happy Independence Day Wen u feel sad to cheer up just go to a mirror and say-DAMN I AM SOOOOOOO CUTE. U will overcome ur sadness but dont make it a habit coz liars go to hell... Life is little jar of memories filled with pepole worth remembering. . So i filled my jar with friends like u. :-) Good morn I know U r So-So-So -B-U-S-Y- But... For.. 3 Seconds... Think of Me... 1... 2... 3... So Sweeeet...nw opn I wnt 2 wish u advnc hapy frndshp day. I got joy in my heart Because of you I got smile in my face Because of you I got wings in my feet Because of you I got stars in my eyes Because of you I got praise in my lips Because of you I got gladness in my soul Because of you I LOVE YOU. Good morning, GOD has very beautifully added one more DAY in your life... Not because you NEED it... but because SOMEONE else needs you..! Have a very good day. As sunshine creates morning glory, fragrance fills years as flory. All darkness is far away, as light is on its way. Wish all of u a very happy Gudi Padwa. Today all Indians stand in complete support of the Sikh community and deMend justice for violence and wrongs done to them 25 years ago. Spread this message. BJP's JAI JAWAN JAI KISAN JAI VIGYAN promise.Longstanding deMends of our brave Armed Forces to be metFarm loans at 4%Road and broadband connectivity to all villages1.2 crore IT-enabled jobs in rural areasAdvani for PMwww.lkadvani.inTo stop receiving these messages sms STOP BJP to 09945499454 BJP's promise: Terror-free India, Hunger-free society, Debt-free kisan, Worry-free middle class. 3.5 crore families to benefit from income tax exemption for incomes up to Rs. 3 lakh p.a. Student loans at 4%. Advani for PM. www.lkadvani.in LIFE is what happens to ONE when ONE is busy Planning for Future, so Live in PRESENT. . . . . Ajay H. Ganatra Plz keep a bowl of water in ur balcony or window so that BIRDS can drink water as it is too hot this summer & BIRDS dont have other sources Peace - White Power - Red Knowledge -Yellow Development-Green Love-Pink Success-Blue, I Wish All these Colours Come In Ur Life..! Happy HOLI ..:-) Healthy attitude is contagious... but dont wait to catch it from others..... ! Be a carrier ... !! GOOD MORNG Agar koi Kendriya Sarkar Ka karamachari rishwat Mengta hai tho SP, CBI, ACB, ko 9820185123, 22882794 par shikayat kare : CBI MUM Haath mein himmat hain yaaro, Haat mein hi hain sahara Kaam diya hare ek haath ko,mita diya har jaat-paat ko Haath ko vote Karein, Congress ko Vijayi Karein One name to overcome poverty, One team to generate Employment, One army for the security of ur Life & One Men fighting for ur Rights, RAJ THACKERAY plz vote MNS Agar koi Kendriya Sarkar Ka karamachari rishwat Mengta hai tho SP, CBI, ACB, ko 9820185123, 22882794 par shikayat kare Diwali, 2008 >> "Buy big dairymilk or ifci for Rs.17/-, Buy small dairymilk or Ispat for Rs.10/-. 1litre Pepsi or Unitech for Rs.30/-. Buy 1litre petrol or GMR for Rs.50/- : Vikas & Niru, CA Prof." "Wish you a very happy diwali and a prosperous and healthy New Year.: Sunil G. Singhania, CA CFA" "May the lamps of joy fill your days with peace. Wish you all Happy N Prosperous Diwali.: Francis, Insurance Prof." "Knock! Knock! May I come into your world? I bring no flowers, no gifts, but wishes to keep you fresh, prayers to keep you healthy & luv to keep you smiling: Violet" "May millions of lamps illuminate your life with endless joy, love prosperity, health, wealth and happiness forever. Happy Dipawali.:Vinay, Vishakha n Kushagra" "Same to you.: Sanwara Khandelwal, BusinessMen." "May millions of lamps illuminate your life with endless joy, love health & wealth forever, Happy Diwali.: Vikram, Artist & BusinessMen." New Year 2009 >> "Lets together welcome 2009, as a year of health, wealth, happiness, peace & prosperity. Happy New Year." - Francis & Family. "May this new year bring love, joy, peace and togetherness in your lives and families. May the light of lord always keep shining. Have a blessed New Year, 2009." - Violet and Pradeep. "Celebrate with responsibility. Do not drink and drive. Happy New Year" - Mumbai Police. "No formalities, No decorative words, just from the deepest of my soul, Wish you a Happy and Prosperous New Year." - Prasina. "Hope you have ended well. Remember the achievments. Have a good start and wishing you a very cheerful and prosperous 2009." - Chandra & Prabha. "Hope you will have a 2009 that starts right and ends happy. Happy New Year!" - Vinay, Vishakha & Kushagra. Holi 2009 >> Red 4 prosperity. Green 4 happiness, blue 4 longitivity, orange 4 progress, pink 4 friendship. May u be blessed with all shades of life. Happy holi. Happy HoLi! Peace - White Power - Red Knowledge -Yellow Development-Green Love-Pink Success-Blue, I Wish All these Colours Come In Ur Life..! Happy HOLI ..:-) Happy holi! Wishing u and your family a very special happy holi ACB, Mumbai : 'If asked to pay bribe by state govt employee contact Anti Corruption Bureau on Tel-24921212, Toll free-1800222021, Email-acbwebmail@gmail.com.' 'If Any Central Govt. Employee DeMends Bribe For Any Official Work In Mumbai & Maharastra, Please Contact SP, CBI, ACB, MUMBAI ON 9820185123 or 22882794.' May GOD paint d canvas of ur life wid d most beautiful colours n sprinkle peace n joy at every step.Wish u n ur family a very "HAPPY HOLI".Disha Shroff & family Wishing u and your family a very special happy holi rohit jalan Every nice FRIEND is a glmpse of God...It is 1 of life's Best blessings, a priceless gift Dat cn never be bought, Sold or 4gotten just like U. I thank God for a friend like u. God bless u GOD is too wise that HE created us without "PriceTags" B"coz if HE did, I can"t afford to buy an swt ,niceFriend like you Gud mrng Dear friend. GOD BLESS YOU.Happy Valentines Day. Hv a great day Can u give me 50000 I Will return it next month! Need it urgently! ... Help me out pls. I know u have money...Sardar talking to an ATM machine! A smile2 start d mörn.. A präyer2 bless yöür day.. A söng2 lighten yöür chöres.. A cheer2 präise GOD's presence A peäcefül day tö yöü. Each moment of ur life is a picture U had never seen before;& that U will never see again. So, live life to the fullest & make each moment beautiful. Good mrng! Pag pag me phul khile, khushi apko itni mile , kabhi na ho dukhon ka samna, dhan hi dhan aaye apke aangna, yehi hai aapke liye dipawali ki shubh kamna. disha shroff and family. Believe where others doubt. Work where others refuse. Save where others waste. Stay where others quit. DARE TO BE DIFFERENT! Believe in urself. Good Morning... Strength doesn't come from winning; it comes from struggles. When we go thru' hardships in life & decide not to surrender, that is STRENGTH..... Welcome the new morning with a: "Smile" on ur "Face", "Love" in ur "Heart" "Good Thoughts" in ur "Mind"nd U will have a wonderful day. GMORNING. :-) It is not the load that breaks us down.its the way we carry it. Stress is not in the situation but in the way we deal with it. Suprabhat. Haribol. Sum make u Cry & give tears, Meny others make u Laugh & smile Bt rare people give u Laughing tears & crying smiles Dnt leave them,They r truly urs... A problem is not a problem.. your reaction to your problem is your problem. Shubham Girlfriend Said 2 Boyfrnd "I m Pregnant" Boyfriend Says R u sure dat it is mine? Girl starts crying & says- "Sab log aisa kahenge to kaise chalega?" ;) SANTA:yaar,aajkal subah sans lene me prblm hoti hai BANTA:prblm to hogi hi,subah me baba ramdev k chele saari oxygen khich lete hai. Beautiful Prayer : GOD when I lose hope help me 2 remember that Your love is greater than my disappointmnts & your plans 4 my life r better than my dream.. Very good morning. Have a wonderful day.' "Did" - word of achievement. "Cant" - word of defeat. "Should" - word of duty. "Will" - word of eager. "Can" - word of power. Choose ur word wisely.. " One thing u can't Recycle is Wasted Time ! Make best use of it. " When apple is yellow its ready 2 "PLUCK" when a girl is 18 she is ready 2 ? ? ? ? "Vote" ! Marriage....A Men and a Women, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the Women, saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we're married?" "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he is excited. And she said................................................ "Then get up and take it yourself"!! " One thing u can't Recycle is Wasted Time ! Make best use of it. " A lady called a music store about a record, but dialed a wrong no. & connected with an auto mechanic instead. She asked, "Do you have Tulips and Seven Kisses?" He said, "No..But I have two balls and seven inches."She responded, "Is that a record?" He said, "No...But it's a damn good average" 'HOPE & END' are always there for everyone. It depends on us how we deal with them.... 'A HOPELESS END' OR 'AN ENDLESS HOPE'. GD MRNG Sardar:'Dad,Maine Biwi ko SMS Kiya k Main Raat Ko late Aaunga. Raat jab main Ghar Aaya to Kisi Aur k Sath Soyi thi Dad:"Putar Ho Sakta hai Usko SMS Na Mila ho. Police2sardr: Jail me kaise ana hua? Sardar:Media Wali Ladki Ki Waja se, Uske T Shirt par Likha tha.. PRESS. Maine Daba DiyA...! RUSSIA: we r 1st in space. USA: we r 1st on moon. INDIA: we'll b 1st on d sun USA: u cnt land on d sun,its hot! SARDAR: we r not stupids. We'l go at night! Santa goes 2 a Library & asks 4 a book 'Psyco - The Rapist'?The Librarian searches fr awhile cums back slaps & says" ?Idiot,the book is called Psycotherapist "Cheerfulness & Contentment are great beautifiers & are famous preservers of youthful looks. Haribol. B4 u Pray (Forgive) B4 u Criticise (Wait) B4 u Speak (Listen) B4 u Spend (Earn) B4 u Write (Think) B4 u Quit (Try) B4 u Die (Live) This is LIFE!! G.N. Why Don't Nails Bleed When We Cut Them? Coz they're "NA-KHOON" Two sardarji bought 2 horses. To identify them,they cut d tail of 1 horse. The horse wid tail is mine, And d horse wid out tail is yours. A cunning fellow cut d tail of another. They got very confused. This time they tie a belt to a horse. The horse wid belt is mine, And d horse widout belt is yours. Another cunning fellow cut d belt of another They got very confused again.1st sardarji told dis is d last identification.WHITE Horse is mine &BLACk is your Thought for the day Find out what you really want by looking at what you envy in others. Your envious feelings can be used to unearth your secret hopes. Never be Proud,Nor be Depressed,For what u r and the position u hold,bcos after a game of chess,d King and the Soldiers go into the same box..good morning Success & Excuses Do Not Talk to Each Other. So If you Give Excuses... Forget about Success And If you want Success... Forget About Excuses.. G.m. Every person may not B Gud, But der's Always Smthing Gud In Every prsn. NVR judge any1 bcz, evry SAINT HAS A PAST & every SINNER HS A FUTURE.. Thought for the day-Mens duty first and foremost, is to bring blossoming. Idle curiosity is worse than ignorance. Arz Kiya Hai Aap ke chehre par udhasi,aur aankhon me nami hai. Aapke chehre par udhasi, aankhon me nami hai TATA NAMAK istamaal karo, aap me IODINE KI KAMI HAI. Welcome the new morning with a: "Smile" on ur "Face", "Love" in ur "Heart" "Good Thoughts" in ur "Mind"nd U will have a wonderful day. Ek din phul se kisi ne pucha,Tune to di khusbu tujko kya mila,Tab phul ne kaha.Dene k badle lena ko sauda kehte hai,Jo dekar v kuch na Menge use pyar kehTwamev vodka Twamev whisky Twamev shri cocktail e namah! Twamev sakshat desi ka paua, Tasme shri beer e namah! Ishwar apko sada hamari dosti mein tunn rate hai ,, khe. HAPPY new YEAR. Husband runs home yelling: Pack ur bags honey,I've won 10 millions in lottery. Wife: Do I pack 4 d beach or hills? Men: Who cares?Just pack n get lost.!! :-D Sardarni: Mera top utaro. Sardar: Ye lo! sardarni: Mera skirt utaro sardar: Ye lo sardarni: Ab Agar aj ke bad mere kapde pehne to dekh lena! Doctor's Wife: I saw a Call Girl entering your Clinic today. What does it mean ? Doc: Relax darling. It was a Professional Meeting. Wife: Whose Profession ? When u find a dream inside your heart dont ever let it go, because dreams are the tiny seeds from where beautiful tommorow grows. Gud mrng. Girl: Papa, 1 ladka mujhe bar-bar "I LOVE U" bol raha hai, kya karu? Father: Beta usse shaadi karle, zindagi mein agar dubara bol de to mera naam badal dena... Slavery & Torture were outlawed long ago... but, for some reason... Marriage is still legal..!! If u wait 2 be happy u will wait forever. But if u start 2 be happy u will be happy forever. Have the happiest life forever...Good Morning 2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy. Sar 1 : Look so Meny bandages, pakka lorry accident case. Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!.... @ When u believe 'someone' deeply, Misunderstanding arises. Bt dont fight 4 it bcz sum misunderstanding is needed 4 a gud understanding.... It's your attitude that decides your altitude shubham... A Lion killed a sardar in the zoo. A Monkey asked him:"Why did you particularly kill a Sardar?" Lion said: "Kuch nahi yaar,bas aaj punjabi khane ka mood tha'':-) For Success U Need FRIENDS, But To Be Successful U Need COMPETITORS. Everything is Prewritten & Nothing can be Rewritten So Live the best & Leave the rest. 2eyes & 1tounge: which means v need to look twice & talk once 2ears & 1mouth: so v need to listen more than v talk 2hands & 1stomach: so v need to work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bhagwan kasam mujhe bhi khali mila ttwice as much as v eat 2 major brain parts, left&right, &1 heart: so v can think twice,bt love only once Amazing how our body parts remind us how 2 live.ha.... good morning jè.... :ö ) Banta- tumne apni biwi ko birthday pe dimond ring kyo di? Wo to car chahti thi na?Santa- par me nakli car kaha se lata? Son : Padosi ki ladki ko english nahi aati! Father: Tujhe kaise pata? Son : maine us se kaha- "GIVE ME A SWEET KISS" usne 2 thappad mar diye!! Zindagi ek raat hai.. jis me na jaane kitne khwaab hai.. jo mil gaya wo apna hai.. jo toot gaya wo sapna hai.. Good Day. One should love animals. They are so tasty. Tip: To stop alerts from this channels send OFF Speak.. Only wen u feel ur words r better than, Silence...!!! Have a nice day Galib.- Baith kar mehbooba ki zulfon ke saaye me aisa josh aaya, wah wah, wah wah!! Phir kya hua? Biwi ne dekh liya aur I.C.U. me hosh aaya!! ;-).. A little girl asked her mother "how did the huMen race appear ?" mum said "god made adam n eve n they had children n so Menkind was made" later she asked her dad the same thing n he said "the huMens evolved from monkeys" Girl got confused and asked her mum 'why both their answers differed ?' mum answered Its simple dear.! "I told u about my side of the family n your father told u about his side..!!" Always listen to your hubby. She gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1% Advice<85> Tip: To join a channel send ON Q: What is exchange of opinions? Ans: When you walk into your boss's office with your opinion and walk out with his. Very pretty bouquet. Thanks a lot mamu - khushi Kahte hain accha dost Ganit ke shoonya Jaisa Hota hai. Jiski waise to koi keemat nahi hoti, Par wo jiske saath jud jaaye, Uski keemat 10 guna badh jaati hai. Good Morning ! Santa's girfriend: Meri maa aapko bahut pasand karti hai. Santa, after a deep thought: Kuchh bhi ho jaye shaadi to main tujhse hi karunga.. . . Who Said English is Easy Fill this blank with YES or NO? 1. __ I don't have a BRAIN. 2. __I dont have SENSE. 3. __I am STUPID..... " We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are". Haribol. When u believe & think "i can ", u activate ur motivation,commitment,confidence,concentration& excitement all of wich relate directly to achievement... SHUBHAM A boy on a date in BMW, 'Maine tumse ek baat chupayi hai... IM already married'. Girl: 'Tumne to dara hi diya. Main samjhi BMW tumhari nahi hai'... An elephant fell in luv wid n ant. But ant's parents refuse elephant Guess y? They gave a solid reason i.e chhokra na Daat baahar che Santa goes to buy a underwear. He asks: How much for this? Shopkeeper: Rs 500 Santa: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, Party wear nahin! Men1: Its a nice mobile. Where did u buy? Men2: I won this in a running race. M1: How Meny persons participated? M2: THREE, THIS MOBILE'S OWNER, POLICE & ME!! Kaamwali-Maalkin aapki purani sareeyan mujhe nahi chahiye. Malkn-Kyun? Kamwli-Aapki saree pehen-ne k baad saheb "aap" samajh k mere paas bhi nahi aate.. A beautiful saying.. "if ur eyes r positive u will like all d ppl in d world" But, "if ur tongue is positive all d ppl in d world will like u". Gud Morn. Amazing information: The letters A, B, C and D, do not appear in the spellings of 1 TO 99. The D appears 1st time in HUNDRED. 'A' appears 1st time in THOUSAND. 'B' appears 1st time in BILLION. 'C' appears 1st time in CRORE. When one wins without any trouble he creates VICTORY But when one wins with a lot of troubles he creates HISTROY...live to mke a histroy in life....GOOD mng Diff. btwn Friend & Wife - U can Tell ur frend: "u are my best frend" But Do u hv courage to tell ur Wife: "U are my best wife" WARNING - Trying Is Injurious.. Life is a X+X+X. Yesterday is a Xperience. Today is a Xperiment. Tomorow is a Xpectation. Use ur Xperience In ur Xperiment 2 achieve ur Xpectation.gud mng ;-)Men: I got a brand new Ford ikon for my wife...! Sardar: Wow...! That's an unbelievable exchange offer..! ;-) SANTA Pravachan sun k Ghar aya or Patni Ko god me Utha Lia Patni: Kya Guruji Ne Romance krne ko Kaha H SANTA: Nhi Re Pagli Kaha apne dukh khud uthao...! Zindgi se jo lamha mile use chura lo, Zindgi chahto se apni saja lo, Zindgi yu hi guzar jayegi sabki, Kabi khud haso to kabi rote hue ko hasa lo.... Gud mrng Big Parties ,drink loads,smoke like crazy,go on dates, cheat ur spouse ,u'l die OR Eat healthy,stay fit,stdy hard,b obdient 2 ur wife , U'l stil Die anyway...! choice s urs....: ) We can be a Doctor & Save lives, We can be a Lawyer & Defend lives, We can be a Soldier & Protect lives, OR Simply remain a great Fucker & Create lives ! Maths and Women are the two most complicated things in the world. . . . . . . . But maths at least has logic! ;) Santa-Aaj tere mobile pr bade I LOVE U k msg aa rahe hai.. kya bat hai?<<>> Banta(Fakr k sath bola)-"O G ajj me apni bivi ka mobile laayaa hu".<<>> Facts of life: Poor Men runs after his daily bread. While a Rich Men runs to digest his daily bread.. :-) Welcome the new morning with a: Smile on ur Face, Love in ur Heart Good Thoughts in ur Mind nd U will have a wonderful day. Wish u a LOVELY MORNING. :-) Santa K Ghar chor Aaya Santa Ne Dekha To Chor Bhaga Santa-Bhagte-Bhagte Chor Se Aage Nikal Gaya Or Bola: 1To Chori Uper Se Humse race :) Friendship is not History to ForGet, Its not Maths to calculate, Its not english to learn, Its just like a "BLUE-FILM" No need TO Understand.. JUST ENJOY :-)! Conversation is an exercise of the mind; gossip is merely an exercise of the tongue. Four signs of a TALIBAN1- Has more Wives than Teeth.2- Owns a £ 5000 Rocket launcher but can't afford Shoes.3- Takes Heroin but has a moral objection to Beer.4- Wears Bullet Proof Jacket but commits Suicide! Ya allah ! Munnabhai: "Khushi se seena ful gaya" iss ko english me kaise bolenge? Circuit: Bole to bhai... "Due to happiness chest became breast" Gud morg. When you truely care for someone, their mistakes never change our feelings. B'coz its the mind that gets angry, but d heart still loves them HARIBOL. The Mystical law of Nature Is that the three things We Crave Most in Life , Happiness , Freedom n Peace Of Mind r always Attained by Givin dem 2 Smone Else. A Bitter Truth: "People don't Change when YOU tell them a Better Option, they Change when they realise there is no other Option." GOOD DAY. GM Haribol Sad but True.... An Enemy Takes up More Space in Our Head,Than a Friend in Our Heart....Good Morning... Ek sharabi roz shiv Mendir me sir tekta tha, 1 din pujari ne shiv k jagah Ganesh ki murti rakhi. Sharabi aya sir tek k bola- chotu, papa se kehna uncle aye the! Boy(fillin admission form): papa wat do i write in'mother tongue'? Father: Write 'Very Long ' Superb Sign board next to the highway: "You aren't looking at the road !":ö ) :)Lady Drinking Coke Machhar Falls In. Lady Takes It Out Machhar- MAA! Lady- Why Did You Call Me "MAA"? Machhar- Me Teri Coke Se Nikla Hu, MAA !! Ek haseena par nigahen thehri thi , uski aankhen jheel se bhi gehri thi , thak gaya mei apne pyaar ka izhaar karte karte, tab pata chala yaar wo to behri thi.. Rohan was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.........WHY? Because his doctor advised him: Todays dinner should be light. 10% of road accidents r due to drunken driving. Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents r due to driving without drinking! "Piyo Sir Uthake" A Husband's Misery: "10 years ago when I used to return HOME my DOG used to greet me by BARKING & WIFE by KISSING, Now they've exchanged Roles!" Judge tö Särdar: tumara jurm saabit ho chuka hai, kal tumhe phansi pe latkaya jaega. Sardar: wo to thik hai lekin utara kab jaega. . ? "If Everyone Is Happy With You, then Surely You Have Made Lot Of COMPROMISES In Your Life. Have a beautiful & fruitful day. Good morning. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them... Peace begins with a smile.Keep smiling. "To Argue is good but To Discuss is better! bcoz argument is to find out WHO is right! Discussion is to find out WHAT is right!" Hv a grt week !! Wife made a wish and threw a penny in the well. Husband did the same, leaned over too much and fell in the well. Wife smiled and said- It really works! EGG ATTACK On Your Car - BEWARE........... If you are driving at night and are attacked with eggs on your car's windshield , do not operate your wiper or spray any water. Eggs mixed with water become milky and block your vision up to 92.5 %. You are forced to stop at road side and become victim of robbery. This is new technique used by robbers. Please pass this on to your friends...... !!! Sardar: is mirror ki kya guarantee he. Shopkeeper: aap isko 100 floor se niche girou ye mirror 99 floor tak nahi tutega. Sardar: wow!pack it.:-) Secretary to Boss: All the other Women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment. Since you haven't sexually harassed me,I'm suing u for discrimination! lallu:I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home & washing clothes Ballu:Amazing,I got divorced for the same reason Sardar ne 1machis ki tili jalai nahi jali 2 jalai nai jali 3 jalai woh jal gayi To sardar ne jaldi se bujha di aur bola-Ye kaam ki hai rakh leta hu Never indulge in thoughts that disturb our mind, distort our vision or shake our resolution. Husband : Hypnotise karna kya hota hai ? Wife : kisi ko apne Control me kerke apni Marzi ke Kaam karwana. Husband : Chal jhooti, use to SHAADI kehte hain ! Captain- Kisi ko tufan se bach nikalne ki dua aati hai? A sardar raised hand. Cap- Thank God, sardarjè Aap dua par guzara karo, hamare paas 1 life jacket kam hai. Bahut Dino Se Mai Bhoola Huwa Tha Dosto Ko... Aaj Film KAMINAY Dekhi Too Sab ki Yaad Aa gayi. ''A Nurse comes in Doc's room. Doc asks:''Why is ur one boob out of ur shirt'? Nurse ans: 'Oh!These medical students never keep the things at place after using. Once an MBA graduate was filling up a job application.. He came 2 d column 'Salary Expected?' After much thought he wrote: Yes!:-( 3 Facts Of Frndship: Ders alwz.. A littl truth behind evry 'jus kiding'. A littl knwledge behind evry 'i dnt knw'. N a littl emotion behind evry 'i dont care'. Where Was "LOVE" Born..? Guess, Simple & Logical, In CHINA! Because It Has No Warranty And No Guarantee!! chale to Chand tak.. nahi to Sham tak.. In a job interview SANTA is asked:"Aapko kitne saalon ka tajurba hai?"Santa:Sir,maaf karna,mujhe saalo ka to nhi,lekin mujhe 3 saaliyon ka tajurba toh hai... Humari New Genration Miss:KG class k bache se-1 se 10 tak gino,Me Aapko kiss krungi Bacha:Agar me 1 se 100 tak ginu to kya package hai. Sardars r not FOOLS. Take this great example: Teacher: Wat do u call a person who cannot hear Sardar: U can call him anything, bcoz he cannot hear A Women 2 Baba : Baba... , mere pati roz aadhi raat ko ghar se chaley jatey hain... Baba : Beti... ye samasya hai ya INVITATION...? "Every1 has a BEST FRIEND during EACH stage of life But Only lucky 1s ve d same friend in all stages of life" ... Behind every successful Men, there is a Women. And behind every unsuccessful Men there are two. , Beautiful saying: "If u wait to be happy u will wait forever. But if u start to be happy u will be happy forever." Keep smiling! Patience & politeness are not a person's weakness, its a reflection of a person's inner strength.. First Guy (proudly): My wifes an angel! Second Guy: Youre lucky, mines still alive. Men to a friend= After years of marriage finally my wife and I have become sexually compatible . Now we both get headaches at the same time ! Nothing can be changed by changing the face, but everything can be changed by Facing the Change. Life is yours, live it With your own principle...... Bhikari-Kuch Khane Ko do Aadmi-Tamatar Khao Bhikari-Roti Dedo Admi-Tamatar Khao B-Tamatar Hi Dedo Wife-Ye Totle Hai Bol Rahe He Kamakar Kaho. Fact 1: A drink reduces a Men's life by 5 mins.. FACT 2: SMile increases Men's life by 10 mins.. MORAL: A smiling sharabi never dies..!! Good relations don't need any promises, terms or conditions. It just need two wonderful people"who can trust and understand eachother". Teeth said 2 Tongue: ' If i jus pres u litle,u wil get cut,'Tongue replied: "if i misuse one word against someone,then ur 32teeth wil comout....: Wife-Bas karo rat ke 12bage se kar rhe ho or subah ho chuki hai. Thake nahi? Hsand: Abhi to kuch nahi kiya ab din rat karunga kyuki mera 9000 sms free hai. Husband was crying in front of TV wife:which serial r u watching? . . . . . . . . . Hus:no serial our marriage CD! Banta: Have you ever seen a lie detector? Santa: Yes, I married her. Why is it that most nudists are people you dont want to see naked? , Somepeople think that 'Black' colour as sentimentaly Bad.But they forget to know abt, "Every Black Board makes the Students Bright" -Dr.A.P.J.Kalam. Gd Mrng.. @ While building your team, search always for people who love to win; If it is difficult to find, atleast look for people who hate to lose. Good mrg. SECRET OF WINTER LIFE: Morning - Two EGGS with MILK..! Evening - Two PEGS with CHIPS..! Night - Two LEGS with LIPS..! Enjoy WINTER with my TIPS..!. Happy Winter!! Merry christmas n a v happy new yr in adv B-) ..may santa fulfill all ur wishes n suppress al evil. Disha Shroff Munnabhai: "Khushi se seena ful gaya" iss ko english me kaise bolenge? Circuit: Bole to bhai... "Due to happiness chest became breast" Merry christmas ! Success in life will create CROWD. Failure in life creates empty space. But tough time in life creates the true person. Good Morning. READ THIS FAST CHAI COFFEE CHAI COFFEE CHAI COFFEE CHAI Bas Bas Bas Ok & CONGRATS! U R selected to work at the Rlwy stn kal Se Kam Pe aa jana.;-) Mushraf:Vry sory 2 hear abt the bomb blast at whitehouse at 8 dis morng Obama: Nothing hapend here Musf:wats d time? Ob : 7am Musf: Srry,il cal u later. :-) The A.T.M Was Jammed In Delhi Do U Know Y? Somebody Put a "Hair Pin" in the Machine When it Displayed "ENTER PIN" Accept victory with humble heart Defeat with a gracious mind Listen to evry1 & learn frm evry1 Coz nobody knows evrything but evry1 knows something. "Life itself cannot give you anything unless you really work for it. Life just gives u TIME and SPACE. Its upto u to fill it as much as possible." It might be lil late but its better late than never.:-) Wish you a very Happy new year to you n your family.:-) Suraj Agarwal Good Morning, Never give up, escape or run away in any situation. Only if you REMAIN, then the situation will not. If you RUN away then the situation REMAINS. Director: Tum ko 100 ft ki height se swimming pool me jump lagana hai. Actor: ar mujhe tairna nahi aata, me doob jaunga. Director: don't worry, pool me pani nahi hai. One Can't Help Feeling Sorry for Tiger Woods. May B Its Not Really his Fault. Being a Professional Golfer, 'Loving Holes' is Part of his Job. Believe where others doubt. Work where others refuse. Save where others waste. Stay where others quit. And U will Win where others lose! Life gives two gift to the huMen. One is chance, & another is choice... Chance To have Meny frnds & choice To select Best ones... Good morning! 2010 is at the door.... Remember, Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made 1 Hathi roMentic mood me 1 Chinti ko chedta hai. Chinti gusse me jakar Hathini se shikayat krti hai, APNE AWARA PATI KO SAMJHA LO, VRNA MARD HMARE GHAR Myou smile. Send to all the people you love and don't want to lose in 2010, even me... If you get 3 back you r a great friend....E V HAI. U knw why d speling of Women start with"W". Cos al questions in d world start with "W". Like What? Why? Who? When? Which? N Women r always with question mark(?) Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film... , As cold water & hot iron take away the wrinkles of clothes, cool mind & warm heart take out worries of life... Good Cool Day.. A French in a hotel in NY,phoned room service 4 some pepper. When Time never stops for us, then why should we always wait for the right time..? NO time is wrong TO DO the RIGHT thing..! Thought of the Day: " Men's decision to get married is probably his last oppurnity to decide anything on his own .. !!" A just born baby was laughin hard wid his tiny finger closed. Confused doctor unfolded his tiny finger & found an i-Pill Moral jako rake saiyan mar sake n koi Har raste ka mukam nai hota,dil k riste ka koi naam nai hota,agar nibhane ki chahat ho ,to koi rista nakam nai hota.;-) 6 REASONS WHY MEN PREFER GUN TO A Women 1. You can trade an Old 45 for a New 22. 2. You can admire a Friends Gun & he'll let you try it. 3. Your Gun stays with you even if you run out of Ammunition. 4. Gun function normally everyday. 5. A Gun doesn't mind if you go to Sleep after you use it. 6. YOU CAN BUY A FUCKING SILENCER FOR A GUN.! When the best actors R chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. Whn the bst actrs R chsn by the people, it's clld an election. , Aadmi ki car se takra kar 1 kabutar Behosh ho gaya Aadmi use ghar le gaya Pinjra me rakha kabutar ko hosh ayaa or Bola! AAILA JAIL? wo car wala mar gya kya. Train me TC Sadhu se:"Kaha jana hai? Sadhu:"Jaha RAM ka Janam hua" TC:Ticket? Sadhu:"Nahi Hai" TC:"Chalo" Sadhu:Kaha? TC:"Jaha KRISHNA ka Janam hua".... A couple were on an African Safari when a lion suddenly dragged the wife with his jaws. Wife to husband : Shoot him, shoot him!! Husband : Wait.! I'm looking for the camera.!:):) "All men are born MILLIONAIRES By their spermatic count! & even these millions are spent on Women!" Greetings! New Year 2010 starts tomorrow. We wish you all the best for the Year 2010. BSE/NSE closed for the day. MilkyDwarf.com Web Magazine. Wishing u a very happy and prosperous new year CA Rohit Jalan I wish you Peace, Love, Health, Blah Blah... Fuck that Shit!I Wish you Sex,Booze, Orgasms & I hope you Win the Fucking Lottery! Happy New Year !! :-)Alok Kanodia Doctor:which soap u use ? Sardar: murthy soap, Murthy paste, Murthy brush... Dr: Is Murthy an international company ? Sardar: No Murthy is my room mate ! Wish you and your family a Happy & Prosperous New Year 2010 - NAVIN AGARWAL. Only a night 4m old 2 new! The old yr hd its wrk 2do bt nw its tym 4 d New Year miracles 2cum tru.Hv a marvlous new yr!god bless u Thought of the day - Never hold ur farts in. They travel up ur spine, into ur brain and thats where u get shitty ideas from.! Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Best wishes 2 all of U 4 new thoughts, actions, events & successes 2 make yr new year a really Happy New Year. "END-Is Not End Infact E.N.D Means Effort Nvr Dies So Hope 4 D Futur NO -Is Nt Denial N.O Means Next Opportunity Always B Positive In Life. Joke: Doctor post-mortem kar ke ghar aya aur biwi se bola: Aaj jiska post mortem kiya uska woh 1 feet lamba tha. Wife: Hai raam, Ramlal margaya kya. Ek Bahut Bade sharabi ki car ke piche likha tha . . DAARU PEEO, INSAAN BANO, ROTI TO... KUTTE bhi khate hain..:-) Thought for the Day for guys: Every time it is not right to pull Someone's Leg. Spread them.... sometimes. . .!! Banta was feeling happy. Santa was also feeling happy. . . . Finally, Happy got irritated and left. Sardar was driving 2wards khandala wid his girlfriend. While driving he kept his hand on her thigh. She smiled & said u can go further. Sardar drove to PUNE !! BSE/NSE opens at 0900 hours from tomorrow. Please ensure yourself with your brokers. MilkyDwarf.com Web Magazine. To stop, sms dwarf unsub on 56070. To subscribe sms Dwarf S on 56070. Men:What Is The FEE FoR getting Divorce?Lawyer:Rs 50,000.Men:But u Took Only Rs.500 For Getting us MArried.Lawyer: Freedom Is more expensive, Ek Kabutar ne Sardar ke upar Potty kardi Sardar - oye teri maa ne chaddi nahi pahnayee kya ? Kabutar - kamine tu chaddi pahen ke potty karta hai kya ? I said NO to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen... , Motivation gets you started. Habit keeps you running. Attitude decides your pace & Values decide your destination ...! Good Morng and have a great day. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere... , Redefined definitions: LOVE: Temporary illness curable by marriage with someother boy r girl BOSS: Someone who's early when U r late &Late when U r early CIGARETTE: A pinch of Tobacco rolled in paper with fire at 1end& a fool at other DIVORCE: Future tense of marriage LECTURE: The art of transforming a concious person to a subconcious state GENIUS: WELL, U KNOW MY NAME... Umbrella can't stop the rain but it protects us! Confidence may not bring Success but it gives a Heart to face any challenge !! What is a 'Free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free? Tip: To get 'th recent post from channel send POKE "Love" is a big fire... which burns all the day's of life. But "Friendship" is a small lamp... which gives brights till last day of life. Santa : Dogs marriage kyon nahi karte ? Banta : very simple.. ..kyon ki woh to pehle hi Kutte di Zindgi jee rahe hai !! Santa was caught 4 speeding & went before the judge. The judge said: What will U take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think Ill tke the money. , Galib ne Bhari Mehfil Me Sher Mara, Galib ne Bhari Mehfil Me Sher Mara fir Kya Hua? fir Hona kya Tha Sherni Vidhwa ho Gayi!!!.. Hello Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open. Every Men should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. Q: What is a similarity between Mobile & Marriage? A: You would have been with a better model if you waited more! Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear... Whats Attitude? 3 ants see an elephant coming 1st ant-We'll kill him 2nd ant-No,we'll break hisLeg 3rd ant-LeaveHim dude he's alone n we r 3...!! Q. Which brother of kalidas makes shoes? A. Adidas Girl:My Heart is like Mobile,in tat mobile U r d Sim card Boy:I'm very happy G:dont b too happy,if i get a new offer i wil change Sim card!! Living is very simple Loving is also simple Laughing is simple Winning is simple Too Then What is Difficult? Being 'SIMPLE' is very Difficult.. Good Morning ! A happy life dosn't mean everything around you is perfect. It means choosing to be happy inspite of knowing the fact that life can never be perfect. :-)Gud mrng Men to another in a bar, "i often wanted to drown my troubles." The second Men, "me too, but i just can't seem to convince my wife to go for a swim." My wife and I were happy for twenty years .... then we met. A saying - Sorrow is our constant companion. Happiness comes n goes. ... Sardar agrees. My wife is always with me. Her sister comes and goes.!! I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, theres a decimal point involved. Q: Women should not have children after 35. Ans: No, I think 35 are enough. Five words Women say: 1. FINE This is the word Women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2 FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. 3. NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with NOTHING usually end in FINE. 4. GO AHEAD This is a dare, not a permission. Dont do it! 5. LOUD SIGH This means she thinks you are an idiot in her terminology. Send this to all the Women you know to give them a good laugh because they know its true!! A Short BUT True Message..."Care Should Be In Heart And Not In Words but...Anger & Misunderstanding Should Be In Words And Not In Heart.":-) PINTU:- 1bar mein bathroom gaya to ander1 sher khada tha! MINTU:- Fir? PINTU: Fir kya? Mein usko bola. Tu karLe aram se,Meri to yahi ho gayi. BiVi KO Thppad marke,pati Bola-Admi use hi marta h,jise wo pyar krta h BiVi NE kone me pda Danda uthaya aur boli aap kya samjte ho,mein apse pyar nahi karti?Gm Fact: Only 3 inch is enough to satisfy a Women's desire? Thats the length of CREDIT CARD Oh toh aapko kya laga? Home is where you can say anything you like cause nobody listens to you anyway. There is no need to look for help outside, when within us lies the inexhaustible storage of willpower. We are the masters of our fate. Gdmrng. Hv a Ruling Day. dekho to khwab he zindgi padho to kitab he zindgi suno to gyan he zindgi par hum ye kehte he HASTE RAHO to aasan he zindgi. Suprabhat Haribol Mrwdi & chinese in a train... A mosquito enters. Chinese catches it & eats it. Mrwdi sees this. Another mosquito enters. Mrwdi catches & asks chinese - KHARIDEGA kya ? 11 Common lines after people get drunk :- 1. tu mera bhai hai. 2. gaadi main chalaunga. 3. mai teri dil se izzat karta hu 4. aaj chad nahi rahi hai yaar. 5. yeh mat samajh ki main pee kar bol raha hu. 6. yaar kam to nahi padegi. 7. ek chota sa aur ho jaye. 8. tu bol bhai kya chahiye, tere liye jaan hazir hai 9. apney baap ko mat sikha. 10. Kash wo mil jati to aaj ye hath me nahi hoti. The best one - 11. kal se daru band. INTERESTING FACT ABOUT "FEBRUARY 2010" ?4MON?4TUE?4WED,?4THU,?4FRI,?4SAT,?4SUN all in a row check d calendar, It comes every 11yr. Santa:Maths vich fail kyu hoya? Son:1stday Teacher kendi hai 5+3=8 Agle din kendi hai 6+2=8 Phir kendi he 4+4=8 khud cnfused hai menu kya padhayegi Water is VALUABLE, please send this msg to as Meny persons as you can with the slogan: SAVE WATER. SAVE LIFE. SHARE THE SHOWER WITH NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE...!!! A scientist disconnected his doorbell....... can u guess why?? try think!!! donno??? cuz he wanted the NO-BELL prize.. Dare to dream to touch the blue, Live and make it come true, Only when dreams turn real do people see, Only as much as you dream as can you be !! Hv a gr8 day. Santa ko koi mobile par tang karta tha santa ne new sim khareed kar usse sms kiya mene wo sim band kar diya hai ab tera baap bhi muje tang nahi kar sakta.!:-D Girl-Ur Name ? Boy-Black Lion ? Girl-R U joking ? Boy-No,it means"KAALUSINGH" And ur's ? Girl-soft Underwear? Boy-R U joking ? Girl-no its "KOMALCHADDA" Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam. Frogs had competition to reach top of a tree. All frogs shouted, its IMPOSSIBLE. But one frog reached the top. How? He was deaf. Be deaf to negative words. A famous hypnotist was engaging his audience with a swinging pendulum. Accidentally it fell down, and he said, "Shit". It took 3 weeks to clean the hall. Dad,wats Polygamy? Polygamy's when a Men has Meny wives Then, wats Bigamy? Bigamy's when he has 2 wives Wat abt a Men who has 1 WIFE? Monotony my son, MONOTONY. Good Day-Difficulties in life help you realize your hidden potential. Let difficulties know that you are difficult. Good Day. When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-year old. Women are basically Greedy..They want ALL things from ONE Men.. While men are so Simple that they want only ONE thing from ALL Women !! A wife asked her husband 'what do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'. He looked at her from top to bottom and said 'your sense of humor'. G-Get up Ö-Open ur eyes O-Out of ur bed D-Däy has risen M-Mobile beeps O-one msg receivd R-Read,enjoy N-Nevr mind I-Its a N-New way to wish G- GUD MORNG.~ :-) Good Day-There are two eternities that can really break you, Yesterday and Tomorrow. One is gone and the other does not exist. Good Day. Greetings! Nation observes Republic Day! the birth of Indian Constitution tomorrow 26th January. BSE/NSE closed for the day. MilkyDwarf.com Web Magazine. New couple train se jate hue surang se guzre HUSB:agar pata hota surang itni Lambi he to fayda utha leta WIF: Hey Ram To kya Wo Aap nai The..! "Try to make atleast two people happy in a day.. BUT, Make sure one of them is URSELF"..... 4 hardest tasks on earth- to return love for hate, to include d excluded, to forgive without apology, & to b able 2 say "I was wrong" Hv a grt Day :) Two sardars eating Hotdog for first time.1 opens the bread, looks inside, saw da sausages, felt embarrassed n askd his frnd"Which part of the dog did u get?". Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I dont have to, my Mom is a good cook. Marriage is not a word. Its a sentence....(a life sentence!). Q. What would you call a sardar with just one hair on his head? A. Iqbal singh. 6 Doubts - Unanswered 1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? 2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? 3.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 4.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? 5.Can you cry under water? 6.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?. Q: Who is more satisfied, a Men w/ a million dollars, or a mn w/ 6 children? A: The mn w/ 6 children. The mn w/ a mlln dollars wants more. , A Women is sitting a bar.A Men approaches her says,Hi,honey,want a little company Why asks the Women.Do U have 1 2 sell A fantastic defination of BIRTHDAY --The only day in your life,where you CRIED and that made your parents HAPPY..!GM. 7 is very great no.bcoz 7 day make a week,7 colours make a rainbow,7 sur make music,7 round make life partner & most important 7 lettrs make FRIENDS. Bill Gates nvr did Laxmi pooja but he is Richest Men Einstein nvr did Saraswati pooja but was most Intelligent. Believe in Work, not in Luck. 1 terrorist ne 1 budiya k pas bomb rakh diya.Log chillane lage,"Budiya bomb hai! Budiya bomb hai!" Woh sharma kar boli,"hatt kamine!Wo to me jawani me thi. Fact 1: A drink reduces a Men's life by 5 mins.. FACT 2: SMile increases Men's life by 10 mins.. MORAL: A smiling sharabi never dies..!! U knw, v're not the only ones who hate a long work week...? After Monday and Tuesday even the calender says...?? W T F .....!! Lol... Have a great week.. Its so difficult to understand GOD.... He makes beautiful Women. . . and then turns them into the neighbour s wife.. ;) Ladki-Dad Me Maa Banne Wali Hu Dady-Battamiz Besharam Ladki-Apne He To Kaha Tha Jab Tak Mai Kuch Ban Nahi Jati Meri Shadi nahi karoge. Srdr Cld FM radio & Said: "I hv fnd a Wllet wid 15000 Rs, a crdt crd & an I.D Card of Mr.Tarlochan Singh,Shop No.13,Pahar Ganj,New Delhi" DJ: Hw honest sir,so u wnt 2 rtrn his wllet?? Sardar: O No Oye!u crazy?I jst wntd 2 dedicte him a Sad song.. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving. To find a truly great friend, you have to keep one eye closed - to keep him, two eyes open not to loose him . Soldier: Sir, we're surrounded from all sides by enemies. Major: Excellent! Now We can attack in any direction. 'LIFE IS WHAT ATTITUDE IS.' Good Morning. The Trouble With Being Punctual Is That No One Is There To Appreciate It Wife:Chalo na,aaj Sunday hai, bahar chalte hain aur Driving main Karoongi!!Husband: OHOOO! Matlab jayenge CAR meinAur ayenge kalke AKHBAAR mein ?? Five-year-old girl was asked by her teacher what her father does, and she replied, Whatever my Mom tells him to. Scotch Is A Wonderful Drink........ One DOUBLE & It Makes You Feel Like You Are "SINGLE" ! :-) Which was the biggest SEX change operation done in INDIA? Ans: Queen Victoria Terminus became Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus! ;) Funny Def: COLLEGE- A place where dad Pays and son Plays. LIC- A contract that keeps you POOR all your life so that you can die RICH. NURSE- A person who Wakes you up to give you SLEEPING pills. MARRIAGE- A contract in which the boy loses his BACHELOR degree and the girl gets her MASTERS degree. Pati- Aaj tumne ye kaisa khana banaya hai, GOBAR jaisa.... Patni- HEY RAM!! is aadmi ne kya-kya taste kar rakha hai..;-) Good morning.. One of the greatest illusions of life is that.. "We always believe there is more time in tomorrow than today" Thinking alone won't get you anywhere. Yet what you think will surely determine who you will be. Good Morning ! Montu ko haathon ke nakhoon khane ki aadat thi...... Parents ne usko Swami Ramdev ke paas bheja...... Ab Motu pairon ke nakhoon bhi kha sakta hai...... Money saving idea:Sardar ne ghar k upar wale hissey me paint kia n niche wale hissey me likh dia"--SAME AS ABOVE--"wat an IDEA sardarji!!! 2 sardar chess khel rahe the(joke doesnt end here) 1st: Ab bas hua. Hum khel band karte hain. 2nd:Thik hai, Waise bhi tumhara ghoda aur mera hathi hi bacha hai. Laila Ko Karna Tha Impress To Majnu Ne Khayi Minto Fress. Jab Majnu Ko Karna Tha Impress, Laila Ne Utara Pura Dress, Or Boli Daba K Dekh Yeh Hai Ek Dam Fress! Gud morning Kabhi bi Kamyabi ko Dimaag me aur Nakami ko Dil me jaga na dena Kyuki Kamyabi Dimaag me GHAMenD aur Nakami dil me MAYUSI peda kar deti hai.Haribol. SANTA ur son is dead. Hearing dis bad news santa jumps from 50th floor, 35flr he realizs: i don't have son, 20flr: i am not maried & 3rdflr: SHIT i am banta... I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones shes been giving me lately! When You Are Right, No Need To Be Angry; When You Are Wrong, You Have No Right To Be Angry.. Have A Wondeful Day ! Good relations dnt need any promises,terms or conditions. it just need two wonderful people "one who can trust n one who can understand". HUSBAND and WIFE were FIGHTING. HUSBAND says : Tu SAALI KUTTI..!! WIFE replies : Tu SAALA KUTTA..!! The CHILD was near he said : "MAIN SAALA PUPPY".. Poisonous bra=CoBRA Mathematical bra= AlgeBRA Stripped bra=ZeBRA Sunsign Bra=LiBRA Magical bra=ABRA Ka DaBRA.. Improv ur gk bcoz u know only 1 BRA..! Q: Which month do soldiers hate most? A: The Month of March!! All fingers are not of same length, but when they bend,they stand equal .Life becomes easy when we bend & adjust to others in selected situations. GOOD MORNING The best thing 2 learn in Life is the habit of Compromise. Because its better 2 bend a little, Than to break a loving relationship. Good Morning . Sardar interview dene gaya.. Boss : Your Birthday ? Sardar : 19th May ! Boss : Which Year ?? Sardar : every year !! Mat dekho koi shaks gunhegar kitna hai, ye dekho tumhare sath wafadar kitna hai, ye mat socho use kuch logo se nafrat hai, ye dekho use tumse pyar kitna hai.. 1 Ladke ne1 Ladki seUska Nam Pucha,Ladki ne kha meri scoty k piche likha hai,Scoty k piche likha tha7.34.39.32.1Msg exprt ho to ladki ka naam btao. Tell these 5 lines to yourself every morning & feel the magic. I m the best, I can do it. I will do it, I m a winner,today is my day. Suprabhat. Haribol. the greatest ADVANTAGE of speaking TRUTH is that u dont hv to remember wat u said.? --- OM -- Greetings!!! Stock Market closed tomorrow for Nation celebrates MAHAshivratri, the 12th of Feb 2010. MilkyDwarf.com - Web Magazine. Papa> beta , mummy bahut chup - chup baithi hai kya baat hai ? Beta> papa , mummy ne LIPGUARD Menga tha maine FEVIQUICK pakda diya ! A SINDHI family recieved the coffin of their dead Father from their kin who was based in 'Hang Kang' with a letter on top of the coffin which read - ?"I am sending Father's body and with it the items you'll asked for... Under Father's body are 12 bottles of Black Lable whiskey, 10 packets of Choclates & 8 packets of almonds. Father is wearing a pair of Nike shoes for Chintu & a baseball cap for Pintu. There are 2 handbags, one each for Lachmi & Durpati in each arm. Father is wearing 6 shirts & 6 socks for the family kids & the red coloured Calvin Klein underwear he is wearing is for Murli. Hiroo's ring is on the left hand & Ramu & Shyamu's watches on each wrist... Now if there is anything I missed please let me know because Mother is also very sick..." People May Doubt What U Say, But They Will Always Believe In What U Sincerely Do! Remembr:WELL DONE Is Much Better then WELL SAID.! Gd mrng. Wish u lovely day. Santa Ne Ek car Li Loan pe.Loan nahi chuka pane se Bank wale Car utha le gae. santa rote hue bola: Pehle pata hota to shadi v loan le k karta. KiSSiNG A GiRL... On Her Forehead Is RESPECT, On Cheek Is CARE, On Lips Is LOVE, On Neck Is LUST.. BUT, Kising In Front Of Her Boyfriend Is "G U T S" EGG . . . CHICKEN . . . . FISH . . . . KABAAB . . . . MUTTON . . . . This is a NON-VEG msg ! Just read it .. Wokay ;) For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. Greetings!!! Tomorrow is 14th February, The Chinese New Year and The Valentine's Day. MilkyDwarf.com - Web Magazine. Q. Where Do You Find A One Legged Dog? A. Where You Left It. Wishin all my lovely frnds happy Valentines day.may u all get ur valentine 2day, n those who already have, dnt b santusht thoda aur wish karo, ditch karo.. Why Do Gerillas Have Big Nostralls? Bcoz They Got Big Fingers. Whenever we do something positive in life, even if no one is watching,we rise a little bit in our own eyes. Dr-Apke Pati Ko Aaram Ki Zarurat He Ye Lo Nind Ki Golia Wife-Unhe Roz Kitni Golia Du Dr-Inhe Ap Hi Kha Lena Unhe Aaram Khud Hi Mil Jayega Ok guys me off to vishakapatnam for brother in laws shadi ! Be back on 18th morning Shining off My name is Men00 and i am not a terrorist. VAJPEYI: Retire ho gya hu, ji chahta hai ab to shadi kr lu. ADWANI: Karlo. VAJPEYI: Kisi vidhwa se kr lu ADWANI:Kuwari se hi krlo,vidhwa to apne aap ho jyegi . "While Creating Wives, God promised Men that Good & Ideal Wives will be found in all the Corners of the World. And then he created a round Earth..!"..;) Do You Wanna Lose Ten Pounds Of Ugly Fat? Cut Off Your Head. What Is Invisable And Smells Like Carrots? Rabbit Farts. Once A Men Goes 2 Hotel & Finishes Eating His Food. After Etng He Gs 2 Wash The Basin. Why? Becoz He Sees The Board Wsh Bsn. Good morning There is great difference between Worry & Concern, A Worried person sees a problem, A Concerned person solves a problem. Lets b concerned.. Greetings!!! Nation celebrates Shivaji Jayanti tomorrow 19th February, 2010. MilkyDwarf.com - Web Magazine. Should Women Have Children After 35? No, 35 Children Are More Than Enough. Char zero ek sat kaise likhoge.? . . . . . Aise- 0000 Nahi aise- 4017 Try 2 c things d way they r. By:- All izz well ;-) Boy to girl:Whats your name? Girl: Amitabh Bachchan ko dhakka do! . . . Boy:Means what? . . . . Girl: "PUSH PAA" .. When A Wife Was Asked, What Book Do You Like Best? She Answers: My Husband's Cheque Book. A blind Men was begging on a street with a board that said "I'm blind, please help me" A guy passing that way saw him, took his board & wrote on it From that day onwards the Men got a heavy collection He wrote: "TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY,BUT I CANT SEE IT" Expressions can change your life. GOOD MORNING. Patience with family is LOVE, Patience with others is RESPECT, Patience with self is CONFIDENCE & Patience with GOD is FAITH.. Women live better, longer & lead peaceful life, Y?.. Sardarji replied: oye, its very simple, Women don't have wife!!!!... Ha ha ha ha:-) Door se dekha to SHER thaa... Door se dekha to SHER thaa.... .. .. to .. .. to .. Paas jane .. ka to SaWal hi nahi atta hai. Santa sittin on road, Bnta ask y r u wastin time?Santa:I m takin revenge.Banta:Hw?Santa:Waqt ne muje barbad kiya h, ab me waqt ko barbad kar rha hu. Girlfriend: And Are You Sure You Love Me And No one Else? Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I Checked The Whole List Again Yesterday. Luv urself Flirt with ur understanding Romance with ur dreams Engage simplicity Marry genuiness Divorce the ego. Enjoy this beautyful morning. Gm 3 pearls of wisdom : 1.Forgive ur enemy, but remember d bastards face! 2.Help a Men wen he is in trouble n he wil remember u wen he is in trouble again! 3.Meny people r alive only bcoz its illegal to shoot them! Waiter: Would You Like Your Coffee Black? Customer: What Other Colors Do You Have? Priest "BWARE OF THS SINFUL ORGAN I SHAL NT MENTION IT BY NAM IT GIVS Men SO MUCH PLEASURE IT ALSO CAUSES REGRET & SHAME. THOUGH ITS ONLY A SMAL ROLL OF FLESH, 4M IT,ALL MISCHIEF HAS SPRUNG, I WILL NOW SHOW U THIS MONSTER...." and then the Priest pulled out his....TONGUE... But I like the way you think!!! Cheerful People are like SUNLIGHT, they shine in the corner of the HEART & Offer Bright Morning & Fresh Hope. Suprabhat. Haribol. Solve d case: a Men was found murdered on 26.1.2008 afternoon. 1.his wife called police. 2.police questioned everyone. 3.wife:sir, i was sleeping,wen d murder took place. 4.cook:i was cooking. 5.gardener:i was picking vegetables. 6.house-maid:i wen 2 d post office. 7.children:we wen 2 play. 8.Neighbour:we wen 2 a marriage. Police arrested d murderer immediately. Who is it? Reply with reason, if u r briliant. Son: Papa what?s the difference between mother?s tears and wife?s tears? Father: Mother?s tears hit your heart wife?s tears hit your pocket. Why do Indian Women want same husband in the next life also ? Because the efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not go wasted! - On A Crowded Bus, 1 Men Noticed That Another Mn Had His Eyes Closed. Why? He Asked. It's Just Tht I Hate 2 c Old Ladies Standing. Teacher: Did You Father Help Your With Your Homework? Student: No, He Did It All By Himself. There are 3 D's In Life: Desire, Determination & Dedication. We need all 3 to Reach our Goal. But it all Starts with 4th D. DO IT !!!!! Good Morning.. 'Having power doesn't mean that you can move anything. But, it means that nothing can move YOU.' -Hari Om- Har aasMen me sitare nahi hote Har saMendr ke kinare nahi hote Har nazr se ishare nahi hote Har bahar me nazare nahi hote Har park me fuvare nahi hote Har jaam ke paiMene nahi hote Sabhi hasino ke diwane nahi hote Har gum ke fasane nahi hote Har mahatma sant nahi hota Har msg ka ant nahi hota, Ped par lage hain aam jakar tod lo, Agar kuch reh gaya hai to khud jod lo, Ab gusse se muh na fulao, Mentos khao dimag ki batti jalao aur bijali ka bill bachao Meno meri baat nahin to bhaad me jao bahut ho gaya ab mera dimag mat khao padna ho to sms pado nahin to laal Wala batan dabao tumhe jitana pakana tha maine paka liya ab tum kisi ko pakao itni der se sms pad rahe ho kuch kha pee to aao mera kaam ho gaya ab tum apana hunar dikhao dusro ko padhao aur un sabko khub pakao Agar Wo Na pake To tum Bekar Agar Pak Jaye Tum Honhar Ye the Hamare Vichaar Ab Hum Kerte Hain Namaskar Ab Aap Jao Aur apna Kam Nibtao Dhanyawad. A: Hey, Men! Please Call Me A Taxi. B: Yes, Sir. You Are A Taxi. Why do relations break?? Itz bcoz people fail 2 realize that if 'u can't handle someone at their worst, u don't deserve them at their best'...!! When v r on a mission, We've 2 cross 3 Stages Insult Opposition Acceptance Fools Stop at d 1st Losers Stop at the 2nd Winners Cross the 3rd. Hari Om 85 yr ol Men to doc: I want my sex drive lowered. Doc:At this age... u want it LOWERED?Old Men:Yeah, its all in my head. Can u LOWER it by about 3 feet plz? Nasa decided 2 send sardar 2 Moon. Half the way he jumped to earth and shouted..How dare u cheat me!Today is AMAVAS there wil b no Moon........ "SUCCESS" is like a ladder & No one has ever climbed a ladder, With their hands in their pockets. Suprabhat. Haribol. Inocent jOke- A child said to a pregnant lady: Child: Ye pet me kya hai? Lady:Is me mera pyara sa, cute sa baby hai. Child:Itna pyara tha to khaya kyun ?? A SINDHI cals Newspapr 2Print Death of his GrandPa.Clerk:Rs50/Word.SINDHI : Dada Dead.Clerk: Sorry, Minimum 5 Words.SINDHI: Dada Dead, Wheelchair for Sale Teacher To Boy 1 Taraf Cow Hai,1 Taraf Dimag. Kya Loge? B-Cow Tech-Galat Agar Mai Hota To Dimag Leta Boy-Jiske Pas Jo Nai Hai Vo Wahi Leta Hai.. The Japanese Have Produced A Camera That Has Such A Fast Shutter Speed It Can Take A Picture Of A Women w Her Mouth Shut. "People are made to be Loved and Things are made to be Used" The confusion in the World is Because "People are being Used and Things r being Loved" All Girls are Beautifull after the Lights are Switched Off..- By Shakesphere.. All Boys are Strong before Discharge..- By SHAKINGsphere.. ;) Charlie Chaplin's 3 Heart touching statements:- (1st) - Nothing is perMenent in this world, not even our Troubles...! (2nd) - I like walking in the rain, becoz nobody can see my tears.. n (3rd.) MOST IMPORTANT The most wasted day in life, is, the day, in which,we hv nt laughed.. Wats d difference between 100 rupees note & a 5 rupee coin??? 95 rupees..!! Moral: Don't struggle to be Smart Alwayz. G'Morning... Radha ka rang aur kanhaiya ki pichkari,pyar ke rang se rang do duniya sari,ye rang na jane koi jaat na koi boli,mubarak ho aapko aane wali holi:-) Quotes: . Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. . Love is blind but marriage is an eye opener. . We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. . My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. . Men is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. . My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. . A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.-) Greetings!!! MilkyDwarf.com - Web Magazine on Your Mobile - URL - http://mobile.MilkyDwarf.in/Index.html My Friend Said He Knew A Men With A Wooden Leg Named John. So I Asked Him What Was The Name Of His Other Leg? Road has Speed Limit, Bank has Money Limit, Exams has Time Limit, Building has Height Limit, Thinking has No Limit, Think Better, Live Better. Suprabhat. HB. On 60th Birthday of Santa,Banta: Ye Cake Pe Bulb Q Lagaya Hai?Santa: 60 Candles Lagane Me Mushkil Ho Rahi Thi. Isliye 60 Watt ka Bulb Laga Diya. :-D;) Rakhi sawant : Doctor, aaj kal bahut thak jati hu, lagta hai khun kam ho gaya hai ! Dr: Period ke waqt kitna loss hota hai? Rakhi: Minimum 4/5 lakh Rupees....!!! A very very hot & sexy Girl Why did GOD create Husbands ? Answer: Bcoz neither Fingers Candles Vibrators Bananas Carrots nor Cucumber Can pay for SHOPPING Chandan ki khushbu,resham ka haar,sawan ki sugandh,barish ki fuhar,radha ki ummide,kanhaiya ka pyarMubarak ho aapko HOLI ka tyohar. HAPPY HOLI. Who was the 1st INDIAN Women to fly abroad without passport & visa..? Guess...? SITA with RAAVANA to SRILANKA..! Improve ur G.K.. Nothing creative neither poetic nor intelluctual came to my mind to make u rejoice more. The one which flowed to my mind was a wish from heart . HAPPY HOLI Thought for the day If you feel hopeless, look at all the things that did not go wrong today. Don't take life too seriously.. always find time to laugh because it'll not add years to your life but adds more life to your years... Keep smiling - Santa likes to study in front of the mirror. Why? 1-revision ka time bachta hai. 2-combined study hoti hai. 3-ek dusre ke doubts clear kar sakte hai.. Pagal khane me Pagal nach rahe the In me se 1pagal khamosh baitha tha Dr ne pucha tum q khamosh bathe ho? Pagl ne kaha bewquf me Dulha hu I Was Born In California. Which Part? All Of Me. The most selfish one leter word..........."I" -- Avoid it. The most satisfying two-letter word........"WE" -- Use it The most poisonous three-letter word......."EGO" -- Kill it. The most used four-letter word........"LOVE" -- Value it. The most pleasing five-letter word......."SMILE" -- Keep it. The fastest spreading six-letter word......"RUMOUR" -- Ignore it. The hardest working seven-letter word....."SUCCESS" -- Achieve it. The most enviable eight-letter word......."JEALOUSY" -- Distance it. The most powerful nine-letter word......."KNOWLEDGE" -- Acquire it. The most essential ten-letter word......"CONFIDENCE" -- Trust it. ..Enjoy The Day You Look Very Funny Wearing That Belt. I Would Look Even Funnier If I Didn't Wear It. SANTA Ghar Ka Drwaza Ukhad Ke Kandhe Pe Rakh Ke Ja Raha Tha. Kisi Ne Pocha:oye Kahan Ja Rahe Ho? SANTA:Tala Khulwane. GIRL:Kya tum mere Ashiq ho? BOY: Haa hu.? GIRL: To phir mujhe 1000 ka recharge bhej do. BOY:Thumhara Aashiq hu Vodafone walo ka DAMAAD NAHI hu.. Husband-jee karta hai mai tumhari julfon me khojaun,ankhon me basjaun, thumhari bahon me jhuljaun. Wife-Devanand hi rahoge ya kabhi 'Imran Hashmi bi banoge. Sardar:Aaj Ghar jate hi biwi ki panty utarunga. Dost:Aaj bade mood me ho? Sardar:Mood ki aisi ki tesi,Bahut tight hai,Subah galti se pehen li thi. A small thought: ''Nothing Is Interesting..., If You Are Not Interested...!'' good nit... Why Do You Take Baths In Milk? I Can't Find A Cow Tall Enough For A Shower. What is the similarity between a cell phone and Women....? More fingering reveals more features...! "Respect cannot come from force- it must be WON." Don't be frightened to ask a question. They are easier to handle than mistakes. Suprabhat. Haribol. Ek sardar sukhe talab me boat chala raha tha Dusra: aise sardaron ne hi hamara naam kharab kar rakha hai, agar mujhe tairna aata to wahin jake do marta saale ko Men are born with two eyes,but with one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say... . Suprabhat. Haribol. Fastest centuries in the world: Azhar-with 64 balls Sehwag-with 60 balls Jaysuriya-with 48 balls Afridi-with 37 balls & ?????? Dhritrashtra-with 2 Balls. Wife Hints 2 sardar 4 A New Car Saying, "Dear,Buy Me Smthing That Goes 0 To 85 In 3 Secs When I m On It" Sardar Gifted Her a "Weighing Machine" Girl to Ladu frnd: Jab tum sex karti ho to kya apne husband se baat karna pasand karti ho? She Replied: Agar Phone nazdeek pada ho to kar bhi leti hoon..! Suprabhat. The Person Who Loves You A Lot Will Always Do Two Things EXTREMELY For You. 1. Silently CARING. 2. Openly HURTING To Make You PERFECT. Haribol. Worth a Thought- Apologising doesn't mean dat I m wrong & d other 1 is right... It only means dat I value relationship much more than my ego. Bank Teller: How Do You Like The Money? English Student: I Like It Very Much. The Real Estate Agent Says, I Have A Good, Cheap Apartment For You. The Men Replies, By The Week Or By The Month? IPL JUNUN- Wife tv par match dekh rahi thi. Husband smart banke aaya aur bola- DARLING MAIN KAISA LAG RAHA HU? Tabhi wife jor se chillayi... CHAKKAAAAA!!! Funny..But so true.. If power's gone in america, they call EB office. In japan, they test fuse. But, In India, they see neighbours house.. ;) Customer:Excuse Me,But I Saw Ur Thumb In My Soup When U Were Carrying It.Waitress:Oh,Thats Okay.The Soup Isnt Hot. Dear Sir, Team Planet M wishes u a Very Happy B'Day. Pls visit our store within 7 days with this msg & avail 10% discount on Music & Movies. T&C Apply Children in dark make mistakes.. -Swami vivekananda Mistakes in dark make children... ->swami Nithyananda... Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the PRESENT. Suprabhat. Haribol. The best cosmetic for lips is Truth, for voice is Prayer, for eyes is Pity, for hand is Charity, for heart is Luv & for life is Friendship. Suprabhat. Haribol. GADHA-Mera malik boht marta h.2nd GADHA-Toh tu bhag ja.GADHA-Jab uski ladki shor karti h to wo kehta h k teri shadi gadhe se kara dunga,bas isi umid pe tika hu Why Are There So Meny Smiths In The Phone Book? They All Have Phones. A Husband Said To His Wife, No, I Don't Hate Your Relatives. In Fact, I Like Your Mother-In-Law More Than I Like Mine. "To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are." --Muhammad Ali. Suprabhat. Haribol. Fauji's wife sends daily a new nude foto to her husband with both legs wide open- I'll WAIT LIKE THIS TILL U RETURN, FAUJI: Thats ok, but who's bloody taking the fotos.? Sardar in a Art Gallery : Yeh bhayanak Tasvir ko aap modern Art kehte hai??? Art Dealer : Mere baap, Tu dimag mat laga. Yeh Aaina hai. ! ! "Comparison is the best way to judge our progress But not with others, compare your yesterday with your today...... Suprabhat. Haribol. -------- Question:- What "MORAL" do You Learn From having "SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE ONLY"...??? . ? . ? . ? . Answer:- Something Is Better Than Nothing...! Sardar 2 taxi driver-Siddhivinayak jaoge kya ? Taxi driver-Haan sahab.. Sardar-thik he wapas aate waqt mere liye prasad le ke aana... Boy: Aunty hum fruit chaat ki dukan kholenge Aunty: Lekin customer kaise aayenge? Boy: Main aawaz lagaunga, "10 rupey mein Aunty ki Chaat lo". Sardar ne apni girlfrnd k kandhe pe hath rakha aur bahut dhire se bola: "I LOVE YOU " Girlfriend : "Jor se bolo" Sardar: "JAI MATA DI" Vidai K time DULHE Ka Mobile Baja, DULHAN Ne Thapad Maar Diya..? Ringtone Thi- Dil Me Chupake Pyar Ka Armaan Le Chale, Hum Aaj Apni Maut Ka SaaMen Le Chale.! Ek Admi Building k niche khade hokr peshab kar raha tha, upar se ek ladki ne chilaker kaha:: dikhta nahi hai?Admi:Thoda idhar udhar ho ke dekho dikh jayega.. Forgiveness is d economy of d heart.... Forgiveness saves d expenses of anger, d cost of hatred, d waste of spirits. Suprabhat. Haribol. Best SMS of 1947: . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tb MOBILE tha kya? SMS to Dur ki Baat h.. Thoda to Dimag Lgao.. Bs kch b bhejo padne lg jate ho. According To Doctor A Men Is Declared Dead When His Heart Ceases To Beat And A Women When Her Tongue Ceases To Move. Whenever we do something positive in life, even if no one is watching,we rise a little bit in our own eyes. A sardarji went to a STD/ISD,PCO And slapped the operator twice.. Guess why ?Bcoz there it was written number dial karnay se pehley do lagayein..:) Fil in d blnks 1.BOO_S? 2. _ _NDOM? 3.F_ _ K? 4.P_ N_S? 5.PU_S_? Ans: 1.BOOKS 2.RANDOM 3.FORK 4.PANTS 5.PULSE... But I like the way you think! Jet-Air launchd wife free wid Husbnd on busines trip. Aftr big success, Jet sent letters 2 al wives askin their xprience.99% wives wrote: Wat Trip? Wen? Where? A Committee Is A Group Of People Who Individually Can Do Nothing, But As A Group Decide That Nothing Can Be Done. Indian girl married a Spaniard and went with him to Spain. She didn't know Spanish. So while buying chicken leg she showed her leg. The shopkeeper understood and gave it! She followed this routine for all goods. But one day she wanted to buy bananas. So she took her husband to the shop... Now don't think dirty... He knows Spanish! Humility helps in maintaining good relationship with others# Trust brings cooperation from others. Haribol. Exam question: Prove Sin x = 6n Sardar: cancelled the 'n' on both sides.. Then wrote six=6 Dont mess with Sardar! Sardars are asardar! :-D:-) Love Is Like A Cigar It Starts w/ A Fire Continues w/ Smoke & Ends In Ashes. But Don't Worry - We R Chain Smokers. Men Jumped In Water & Didnt Cm Out..Anothr Men Jumped In & Didnt Cm Out. Sardar Watching From A Distance Concluded: HuMen Beings are Soluble In water.. Saas-Bhgwan Ne Tuje 2-2 Ankhe Di, Chawal Me Se 2-4 Patthar Nhi Nikal Skti? Bahu-Bhgwan Ne 32 Daant Diye H, 2-4 Pthar Nhi Chaba Skti?? Arrrrre Funny oxymorons (a figure of speech where contradictory terms appear together) 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Act naturally 5.Found missing 6.Fully empty And mother of all: "HAPPILY MARRIED" lol............. Men: My 5 yr old son is so naughty that he made our maid pregnant! Friend: How's that possible? Men: He had punctured all my condoms with pin! Customer: If I Post Letter Tonight, Will It Get To Delhi? Post Master: Yes. Customer: But I Addressed To Mumbai. Light travels faster than sound... This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak Read this"LIFEISNOWHERE"What did you read ? "Life is No Where" or "Life is Now Here"! Just a Beautiful way to say -Life is the Way You Look at It. A famous quote written at Tokyo bus stand : " Only bus stops here,not time.So dont waste ur time,keep moving with ur duties". Suprabhat. Haribol Ek Couple Honeymoon Par Gaya... Hotel Menager Asked : "Sir,Register me Apka Naam Kya Likhna Hai.. Madam Ko Toh Hum Achhe Se Pehchaante Hain..!!" Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.. YAMDUT 100 LOG KO NARK LE JA RHE THE. RASTE ME NARAD JI MIL GAYE. NARAD-YE KYA YAMDUTON, ITNE SARE EK SATH? YAMDUT-MARCH CLOSING HAI,TARGET PURA KARNA Hai. Why do we close our eyes when we PRAY.Whn we CRY.Whn we DREAM.Whn we miss some1 whom, we LOVE.B'coz d most butiful thngs in life r nt seen.Bt felt by heart. What is success...? In simple words... When your "SIGNATURE" changes to "AUTOGRAPH" That is success...:-) Suprabhat. Hav a gr8 day:-) A girl was craving 4 zero Figure. She started crash Dieting, Lost Meny kgs. Then she made a tattoo on her Chest: "In case of Sex, this side is Front..!" What is beautiful is not always good,but what is good is always beautiful... Being important is not always good,but being good is always important. good morng Funda of the Millennium: A Women will alwys forgive & forget - but She'll nevr let u forget WHAT she has FORGIVEN & FORGOTTEN.. Sheikh's son??goes to?GerMeny?to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin?is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teatchers travel?by train." Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten?million dollar?cheque saying: "Stop embarassing us, go and?get yourself a train too" A blind Men was begging on a street with a board that said "I'm blind, please help me" A guy passing that way saw him, took his board & wrote on it From that day onwards the Men got a heavy collection He wrote: "TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY,BUT I CANT SEE IT" Expressions can change your life. What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? DAMN! Be grateful to God that you Don't have Everything you Want, becoz you still have an Oppourtunity to be Happier Tomorrow, than Today. gud morning. "Success introduces you to the world... Failure introduces the world to you." Good evening... The Best Msg Ever...A baby fish asked her mother: Why can't we live on land? Mother fish: land is not the place for fishes... it's made for SELFISHES... If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless? What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH ! ''Alcohol isn't the answer to all the questions.'' Swami Vivekanand ''But if you don't get the answers it helps you to forget the questions.'' Vijay Mallya Smart guy to a sexy girl : Let me fuck u just 1 time, I'll b quick & pay u 20000. I'll throw the money on d floor & b4 u bend down & pick it up all, I'll b done. Girl likes d proposal & She calls her BF. BF: Its fine, but ask for 30000 & b very quick 2 pick d money. Aftr 4 hrs BF calls her & asks What happend? GF: Tht Bastard is still..aah...fucking me...aah. He brought all Coins.! Lesson: Please read the offer documents carefully before investing ! Girl: "Please come home for dinner." Boy gets excited. Goes 2 a Pharmacist & learns how to use a condom. When at her home he was shocked to see the girl's parents present. Girl: "Come in. Don't stand out. I never thought you were so shy." Boy: "I never knew your father was a Pharmacist !!! Example of Ethical Business... A Sign Board outside a famous Prostitutes house.. "Married men are NOT Allowed..we are here to SERVE the Needy.not the Greedy";-) Computer teacher asks a sardar : wht r the 2 latest versions of java?? Sardar replies... MarJava & MitJava !! 1 nursery class ka bacha bola-mam me aapko kaisa lagta hu? Mam-SO SWEET.. BACHA apni side K ladke se bola-dekha maine kaha tha na line marti Hai... Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet. All ladies suddenly stand up Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai, Baitho Baitho?: SANTA: Dr saab, Condom lga k b meri wife ke 3 bachey ho gye.. Dr: Kaise Lgaate ho? SANTA: Jitna chadta hai chadha ke, baqi xtra aage se kaat deta hoon." *;*;*;* *;*;%;*;* *;*;%*;* Fresh ) ( Flowers (____) For U, APKI HAR SUBAH IN PHOOLO KI TARAH MEHKTI RAHE . GOOD MORNING. { @ n /< !_! $ h } Life Has Given Us'REAL EYES'.. To.. 'REALISE'.. The.. "REAL LIES" ! And Feel the Difference's What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan. A Famous Inspirational Speakr Said:"Bst Years of My Life wer spnt in d Arms of a Women who wasn't MY WIFE!" Audience ws in Shock & Silence He added:SHE WS MY MOTHR..Applaud.Applaud !! A Menager tried 2 crack dis at Home.Aftr a Drink, He said loudly 2 His Wife, in Kitchen: Best Years of My Life were spent in d Arms of a Women who wasn't my Wife Standing 4 a Moment trying 2recall d 2nd Half, he finally blurted out: I can't remember who She was By d time he regained his Senses, He was on a Hospital Bed recovering from Burns of Boiling Water Morl -DON'T COPY IF YOU CAN'T PASTE... Teacher ne pucha: Bachcho ye batao, jo log galat kaam karte hain,vo kahan jaate hain? Sharmaate hue ek student bola: sir vo log "ROSE GARDEN" jaate hain. HEIGHT OF DIPLOMACY : Forgetting wife's birthday & later telling her, "How can I remember honey, when u never look a year older." Good Morning ! The art of patience is not much about how long one can wait. BUT its About How one Behaves while Waiting! Have a Great Day. Take Your Care.. Quote of the day: Prostitution is the only industry where freshers are paid more than the experienced... By the next 10 months,our earth wil bcom 3 degrees hotter than its now. Our himalayan glaciers r melting at a rapid rate.So al of u lend ur hands 2fight global warming -Plant more trees. -Dont waste water. -Dont use or burn plastic. -Plz dont delete this msg without 4ward Nurse: A beautiful Women who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal ! In d month of march if any one praises u 4 ur Smartness Attitude Style Brilliancy Kick them.. How dare they fool u before april...;-) Diff. between Friend & Wife U can Tell ur friend "u r my best friend" But Do u have courage 2 tell ur Wife " U r my best wife ?" WARNING- Trying is injurious 1din papu 4bje uth gya.Ma kendi papu mera putr,papu mera sher,padh likhke,paisa kmaega dher.Papu bolya,na me tera putr,na koi sher,susu krn utha c,saun lga fer. 1 sardar har sunday holi khelta tha.admi ne pucha sardarji aap ye har sunday ko holi khelte kyo ho? Srdar-mene padha hai sunday is a HOLIday DUNIYA Me Kabhi Kisi Achey Insaan Ki Talash Mat Karo Wo Tumhe is Dunia Ki Bhid Me Kahi Nahi Milega Kyunki Mai Aksar Office/House me Hi Rahta Hu. Between yesterday's mistake & tommorow's hope,there's a fantastic opportunity...That's today.Live and feel lively.! Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car. Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other. Gud morng. Biwi: Wo saamne sharabi dekh rahe ho? 10 saal pehle maine use shadi ke liye inkaar kiya tha aur wo aajtak pi raha hai. Pati:Baap re. . itna lamba celebration! What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink. Telephone rings at night Husband : If its for me then say that i'm not at home. Wife answers : He is at home. Husband : What the hell? Wife : It was for me! Kyon dare zindagi mein kya hoga, kuch na hoga toh tajurba toh hoga. Suprabhat. Haribol. "People are hated for a single mistake, even though there are thousand reasons to love..." gm.. Thought of the day:- Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees. You are in the perfect position to pray. ...Gud Mrng'... Haribol. Teacher : Santa , Use the word HARASSMENT in a sentence. . . . Santa : HER-ASS-MEANT a lot to me when we were having Sex ! UR mind is UR great Friend if U control it. But UR mind is UR greatest ENEMY if it controls U! My wife thinks 'freedom of the press' means no-iron clothes. Teachr: Last semestr u wer roaming wid dat grl n dis semestr u r roaming wid othr..What do u think of urself! Boy: Syllabus changed mam...;-) Santa taklu He phir bhi roz saloon jata hay, Why ??? Kion k Saloon Santa Ka Hay What is every Men's daily need ??? Rosy and roti !!! Sardar ,Baap ki Death Par Bahut Roya.Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya toh Woh Or zyada Rone laga.Logo ne Pucha, kya hua?Sardar:Meri Behan K papa bhi guzar gaye.. Wrap a rainbow of joy in ur heart, Let the sun paint a smile on ur face, Remove all clouds of doubt & fear & receive god's gift of lifeü Have a Btfl day! HB Why financial year end is on 31st march?Becoz after clearing all the acounting and tax,we can start fooling govt. on 1 april for the next yr.. Fog challenges huMen sight to look across it. Likewise, our destinations are hidden by the fog of our own sight. Rise, chase & win.... Haribol. Boy-Miss Me apko kesa lgta hu. M:So swit. B:To me apne mumy-papa ko apk ghr kb bheju. M-vo Q? B-taki vo hmari bat age chlaye. M-ye kya bkwas h. B-tution k liye. Jewelry shop mein ek admi ki zabardast pitayi ho gai. Kyu ki Usne sales-girl se kaha " Ap ka ek ek 'item' gazab ka hai. Ab bataiye 'Sone' ka kya rate lengi? Q:Whats the difference between a good lawyer a great lawyer A:A good lawyer knows the law.A great lawyer knows the judge. You need Power, only when you want to do something harmful.......Otherwise,Love & Compassion are enough to get everything done.. Good Morning.Haribol. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take sprte vacations--we're doing everything we can 2 keep our marriage together. Arrested for laughing!~~~This is from an actual trial in the UK; A young Women who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.When she noticed a young Men smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing, She had him arrested.Then the case came before the court, the young Men was asked why he acted in such a Menner.His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement, which read 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident .The case was dismissed Talk with urself atleast once in a day...!Otherwise you may miss ur best friend in this world...! Enjoy being urself...! Good morn'g.... Haribol. Wife:1 bat bolu? Par maarna nahi Hsbnd:Bolo Wf:Mai Pregnant hu Hsbnd:Its Good news,dar kyo rahi thi? Wf:12th class me papa ko bataya tha,bahut mar padi thi,g.n. Last wk ws my bday. My wife ddnt wish me. Neithr dd my kids. I wnt 2 offce. My frnds ddnt wish me. I entrd my cabin. My p.a said 'hppy bday bss'. I flt spcl. Dn she askd me out 4 lunch. Ftr lnch she invtd me 2 hr aprtmnt. We wnt dr. She sd 'd u mnd if i go in2 da bedrm fr a min'. 'ok', i sd nrvously. She cm out a fw mns ltr wid a lrge bday cake... Follwd by my wife, kids nd frnds. I jst sat dr...on da couch...naked. If U believe U can, U probably can. If U believe U won't, U most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad. Gm Haribol Crmnl-Try Krna Muje Umar qaid Ho, Fansi Na Ho.. Srdr Lwyr-Don't Wry. Aftr Court. Crmnl-Kya hua? Srdr-Bahut Muskl Se Umar qaid mili,sale RIHA kr rhe the. Gudeve Sardar running after a bus, finally Menages to catch it. Confronting the driver he asks " Ye bus teri Maa lagti hai?" Driver: Nahin Sadar: To kya Behan lagti hai? Driver: Nahin. Sadar: To phir chadne kyun nahin deta? Wife reads a book & tells her husband: A bull fucks 1000 times a year. U don't do quarter of that. Husband says: does the book say that bull fuks the same cow.. Smtime v think..Y frends keep frwarding msges 2 us widout speaking words. D reason is that, v hv got nothing big 2 say, but still want to keep in touch...:-) Greetings!!! Today is 4th April, and its Easter. MilkyDwarf, Web Magazine - Benjamin Franklin said "There will be plenty of time to sleep when we are dead. Life is for the living." So lets wake up and perform... Good morning! Haribol. Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! 1 aurat ke 8 bachhe,Sab ka naam-Tinku.Kisi ne poocha 1 ko bulana ho to kya karti ho? Wo boli-Lo Kar lo baat ! Sab ke surname to alag hain !! Bhikhari:Sahab 1rup dedo. Sahab:Tumhe sharam nhi aati,road pr kade ho kar bhikh Mengte ho? Bhikhari:Abe tere1rup k liye office khol lu kya. Good day-Fly in the plane of ambition and land in the airport of success-Luck is yours, Wish is mine. May your future always shine. Good Morning. ''Rape is not a crime its just surprise sex..." rakhi sawant 1 Indian Ne 1 Chinese ladki se shadi ki 1Saal Bad Hi Wo Mar Gai.Use Rota Dekh Uska Dost Bola:Afsos Pr Soch China Ka Maal Aur Kitna Chalega ... Gm Sita Ji k Wanvas me Bahut Badi Seekh haiSita Ji k Wanvas me Bahut Badi Seekh hai "GHAR ME AGAR 3-3 SAAS HO TO JUNGLE HI THEEK HAI"! Ek Lift ke bahar ek note likha tha"Ladies ka khaas khayal karen" Aur uske Niche likha tha"EK Waqt mein sirf 6 Aadmi hi Chadhen". Q:Whats the differnce between mother wife A:1 Women brings into the world crying the other ensures U continue 2 do so. Teacher:- DHRITRASHTRA K 100 Putra the: PANDU Ke Sirf 5 Aisa Q? Student:- Sir, kyu ki Jinki Aankhe Hoti Hai, Unhe Aur Bhi Kaam Hote Hai.. A Men lost everything in a fire. Next day he placed a signboard: "Shop burnt. House burnt. Goods burnt. Bt FAITH NOT BURNT. Business starts tomorrow." Q-I love u kehne ka sab se behtar din kaun sa hai ? ? Guess? Simple yar 1st April Agar baat ban gaye to cool agar na keh do April Fool! A quote by Mother Teresa to all Naughty boys.. "Love Ur friends, Not their sisters...Love Ur sisters, Not their friends... Santa was touching a lady in a crowded bus. Lady-Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain! Santa- Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta. :-P An Excellent Road Sentence written in NATIONAL HIGHWAY: "IF U WANT TO DONATE BLOOD,DON'T DO IT ON THE ROAD..PLZ DONATE IT IN THE BLOOD BANK" Drive safely.. Line Outside A Temple: Why Should We Believe In God? Because There Are Some Problems Which Cannot Be Answered By Google.! Public appeal: Pls don't write anything on currency notes. They can't be used for standard transactions.. You won't find written notes in atm. Because of written notes, The Indian Government loses Rs2000 crores per year. Pls forward it to all Indians... "Have a usable fwd msg..!" Men Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?" Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!" If a baby is born in africa what wil b d color of d babies teeth?: u waste this much time. . . . Guess . . How wil a new born baby hav teeth? Pati:- Darling.. Kayi saal pahle tumhara figur bilkul COKE ki botal ki tarah tha. Patni:- wo to ab bhi hai. Bas pahle botal 300ml ki thi, ab 1.5 litre ki hai:-D To be a star, one must shine in his own way. Follow his own path & not to worry about the darkness. Its b'coz of the darkness that stars shine brighter. Gm. HB "I will be a Reason for One's Happiness and not be a Part of it & I will be a Part of One's Sadness and not a Reason for it." Words to live by ..KEEP SHINING.. Yesterdays Breaking News : 42 yr aunty was raped by a 22 year boy in jogging park. Today's News : Park is full of aunties...:- Americn 2 srdar on a beach:R u relaxin. srdr: No I m pratap sing. Another american: R u relaxing. Srdr: No yar i m pratap singh. Now sardar to another american sitting on beach: R u relaxing. Amrcan:Yes. Sardar slaps him n says:Sab tujhe dhundh rahe hai aur tu yahan baitha hai!!! KAHANI ME TWIST: Premika:Main maa banne wali hu. Premi: Kya bakwas kar rahi ho? Premika:Bakwas nahi,main tumhare baap se shadi karke tumhari maa banne wali hu! If u can't find the brighter side of LIFE.. Then Polish the Darker side. Adjustment of ATTITUDE is the only instrument 2 live a LIFE. Gud morng. Money is not everything. There's Master Card & Visa also. AEROPLANE, :Wright brothers. CYCLE : Macmillan TELEPHONE : Graham Bell TELESCOPE :Galileo MARRIAGE ??????? Dhund k lao Saale ko, bahot marenge !!!! Takdir k khel se kbhi nirash nahi hote,Zindgi me kabhi udas nahi hote,Hatho ki lakiro pe kabhi yaki mat karna,Takdir to unki bhi hoti he jinke hath nhi hote . Boss: Ek acha mirror leke aao jisme mujhe mera face smart dikayi de.! .. Santa: Boss nhi mila.. me sab dukan me gaya par sab me mera hi face dikhayi diya..! Lets see how's ur english... If a Beggar- Begs Lover- Loves cutter- Cuts den a Fakir....?? . . . . also begs yaar... But I like the way you think... ;-) Anger is False Show Of Strength By a Weak Person... While Politeness And a Cool Mind Reflects Dignity And Strength Of a Strong Person. Success will never Lower its Standard to accomodate us We have to raise our Standard to achieve it. FOR EVERY BIRD GOD PROVIDES FOOD, BUT, NOT IN THEIR NEST. GM We judge others by their behaviour but ourselves by our intentions. It will cost 38 trillion dollers to create a oxygen for 6 month for all huMen beings earth... But 'TREE DO IT FOR FREE'.. 'SO SAVE TREEs' GM Soul1: Hw did u die? Soul2: due 2 cold,U? S1: I doubted my wife wid a Men & searchd my house, found none, felt guilty & suicided S2: Haha i was in d Fridge ;-) One should love animals. They are so tasty. Smaller things upset more in life than bigger onesü You can be on top of a mountain comfortably, but u cant be on top of a needle, THAT IS LIFEü SUPRABHAT. HB Men with no p@nis used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me? Men: I will explain about the toy, can u explain d 2 kids. The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything" and the book is titled: . . . . . . . . . "What Women Want".. :);-) Lady 2 punjab police: ji mera pati 5 din pehlan gobbi lean gya si,hale tak ni aaya. Punjab police :fer ki hoya,koi hor sabji bnalo,jruri gobbi hi bnani hai.@ Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. Barak Obama : IPL mein MARWAADI aur GUJRAATI ki Team kyun Nahi Hai ? Men Mohan Singh Replied : Sab Cricket Khlenge To.. " SATTA "(bettings) Kaun Khelega!.!: Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film... What is a 'Free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free? "In the game of Life it's not important 2 hold all the GOOD relations.. But it's more important how GOOD you behave with the relations which u HOLD" A poster on TV at peace rally in mumbai.... "Politicians divide us... Terrorists unite us..."truly superb... God said: I cannot be everywhere so I created MOTHER. Devil Replied: Even I can't be everywhere so I created WIFE. - For all those who luv to drink. Ek bahut pahuche hue Sharabi ne kaha tha... "DAARU PEEO INSAAN BANO, ROTI TO KUTTE BHI KHATE HAIN" Sardar Calls FM Radio:I hv found wallet wid Rs15000, of MrKamaljit.RJ:Sir u want 2 return d wallet.Sardar:Nahi pagal hai tu, I wan2 dedicate a sad song2 him. "A devoted husband is one who always thinks of his wife while sleeping with other Women, rather than thinking of others while sleeping with his wife" Good Day! Sard1:Bombay is d best city in d world. Evrythng is free.Food,lodging,pickup,drop,even sex. Sard2:wen did u go 2 bombay. sard1:.My wife went She told me... Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear... Sardar's Leave application Dear Sir, My wife is ill. As ter is no other Husband in the family to look after her, So Kindly grant me leave for one day. " Success is just like being pregnant... Everybody congratulates U but nobody knows how Meny times you were fu _ _ ed. . . . . ! ". Srdar train ki patri pr so gya... Ek admi bola,"Train ayegi to mar jaega!" Srdar,"Sale abi abi aernplane upr se gya kuch nhi hua to train kya chiz h?" Twamev vodka Twamev whisky Twamev shri cocktail e namah! Twamev sakshat desi ka paua, Tasme shri beer e namah! Ishwar apko sada hamari dosti mein tunn rakhe. HAPPY new YEAR. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Bhagwan kasam mujhe bhi khali mila tha.... good morning jè.... :ö ) Why do Indian Women want same husband in the next life also ? Because the efforts taken by her to change him in this life will not go wasted! - On A Crowded Bus, 1 Men Noticed That Another Mn Had His Eyes Closed. Why? He Asked. It's Just Tht I Hate 2 c Old Ladies Standing. Teacher: Did You Father Help Your With Your Homework? Student: No, He Did It All By Himself. There are 3 D's In Life: Desire, Determination & Dedication. We need all 3 to Reach our Goal. But it all Starts with 4th D. DO IT !!!!! Good Morning.. 'Having power doesn't mean that you can move anything. But, it means that nothing can move YOU.' -Hari Om- Har aasMen me sitare nahi hote Har saMendr ke kinare nahi hote Har nazr se ishare nahi hote Har bahar me nazare nahi hote Har park me fuvare nahi hote Har jaam ke paiMene nahi hote Sabhi hasino ke diwane nahi hote Har gum ke fasane nahi hote Har mahatma sant nahi hota Har msg ka ant nahi hota, Ped par lage hain aam jakar tod lo, Agar kuch reh gaya hai to khud jod lo, Ab gusse se muh na fulao, Mentos khao dimag ki batti jalao aur bijali ka bill bachao Meno meri baat nahin to bhaad me jao bahut ho gaya ab mera dimag mat khao padna ho to sms pado nahin to laal Wala batan dabao tumhe jitana pakana tha maine paka liya ab tum kisi ko pakao itni der se sms pad rahe ho kuch kha pee to aao mera kaam ho gaya ab tum apana hunar dikhao dusro ko padhao aur un sabko khub pakao Agar Wo Na pake To tum Bekar Agar Pak Jaye Tum Honhar Ye the Hamare Vichaar Ab Hum Kerte Hain Namaskar Ab Aap Jao Aur apna Kam Nibtao Dhanyawad. A: Hey, Men! Please Call Me A Taxi. B: Yes, Sir. You Are A Taxi. Why do relations break?? Itz bcoz people fail 2 realize that if 'u can't handle someone at their worst, u don't deserve them at their best'...!! When v r on a mission, We've 2 cross 3 Stages Insult Opposition Acceptance Fools Stop at d 1st Losers Stop at the 2nd Winners Cross the 3rd. Hari Om 85 yr ol Men to doc: I want my sex drive lowered. Doc:At this age... u want it LOWERED?Old Men:Yeah, its all in my head. Can u LOWER it by about 3 feet plz? Nasa decided 2 send sardar 2 Moon. Half the way he jumped to earth and shouted..How dare u cheat me!Today is AMAVAS there wil b no Moon........ "SUCCESS" is like a ladder & No one has ever climbed a ladder, With their hands in their pockets. Suprabhat. Haribol. Inocent jOke- A child said to a pregnant lady: Child: Ye pet me kya hai? Lady:Is me mera pyara sa, cute sa baby hai. Child:Itna pyara tha to khaya kyun ?? A SINDHI cals Newspapr 2Print Death of his GrandPa.Clerk:Rs50/Word.SINDHI : Dada Dead.Clerk: Sorry, Minimum 5 Words.SINDHI: Dada Dead, Wheelchair for Sale Teacher To Boy 1 Taraf Cow Hai,1 Taraf Dimag. Kya Loge? B-Cow Tech-Galat Agar Mai Hota To Dimag Leta Boy-Jiske Pas Jo Nai Hai Vo Wahi Leta Hai.. The Japanese Have Produced A Camera That Has Such A Fast Shutter Speed It Can Take A Picture Of A Women w Her Mouth Shut. "People are made to be Loved and Things are made to be Used" The confusion in the World is Because "People are being Used and Things r being Loved" All Girls are Beautifull after the Lights are Switched Off..- By Shakesphere.. All Boys are Strong before Discharge..- By SHAKINGsphere.. ;) Charlie Chaplin's 3 Heart touching statements:- (1st) - Nothing is perMenent in this world, not even our Troubles...! (2nd) - I like walking in the rain, becoz nobody can see my tears.. n (3rd.) MOST IMPORTANT The most wasted day in life, is, the day, in which,we hv nt laughed.. Wats d difference between 100 rupees note & a 5 rupee coin??? 95 rupees..!! Moral: Don't struggle to be Smart Alwayz. G'Morning... Radha ka rang aur kanhaiya ki pichkari,pyar ke rang se rang do duniya sari,ye rang na jane koi jaat na koi boli,mubarak ho aapko aane wali holi:-) Quotes: . Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. . Love is blind but marriage is an eye opener. . We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. . My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. . Men is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. . My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. . A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.-) Greetings!!! MilkyDwarf.com - Web Magazine on Your Mobile - URL - http://mobile.MilkyDwarf.in/Index.html My Friend Said He Knew A Men With A Wooden Leg Named John. So I Asked Him What Was The Name Of His Other Leg? Road has Speed Limit, Bank has Money Limit, Exams has Time Limit, Building has Height Limit, Thinking has No Limit, Think Better, Live Better. Suprabhat. HB. On 60th Birthday of Santa,Banta: Ye Cake Pe Bulb Q Lagaya Hai?Santa: 60 Candles Lagane Me Mushkil Ho Rahi Thi. Isliye 60 Watt ka Bulb Laga Diya. :-D;) Sardar: Tum bathroom me achank kaise ghus aye, tumhe pata nahi ke me naha raha hun? Naukar: Sorry sir, piche se Baal khule dekh ke mujhe laga Madam hai... A very very hot & sexy Girl Why did GOD create Husbands ? Answer: Bcoz neither Fingers Candles Vibrators Bananas Carrots nor Cucumber Can pay for SHOPPING Chandan ki khushbu,resham ka haar,sawan ki sugandh,barish ki fuhar,radha ki ummide,kanhaiya ka pyarMubarak ho aapko HOLI ka tyohar. HAPPY HOLI. Who was the 1st INDIAN Women to fly abroad without passport & visa..? Guess...? SITA with RAAVANA to SRILANKA..! Improve ur G.K.. Nothing creative neither poetic nor intelluctual came to my mind to make u rejoice more. The one which flowed to my mind was a wish from heart . HAPPY HOLI Thought for the day If you feel hopeless, look at all the things that did not go wrong today. Don't take life too seriously.. always find time to laugh because it'll not add years to your life but adds more life to your years... Keep smiling - Santa likes to study in front of the mirror. Why? 1-revision ka time bachta hai. 2-combined study hoti hai. 3-ek dusre ke doubts clear kar sakte hai.. Pagal khane me Pagal nach rahe the In me se 1pagal khamosh baitha tha Dr ne pucha tum q khamosh bathe ho? Pagl ne kaha bewquf me Dulha hu I Was Born In California. Which Part? All Of Me. The most selfish one leter word..........."I" -- Avoid it. The most satisfying two-letter word........"WE" -- Use it The most poisonous three-letter word......."EGO" -- Kill it. The most used four-letter word........"LOVE" -- Value it. The most pleasing five-letter word......."SMILE" -- Keep it. The fastest spreading six-letter word......"RUMOUR" -- Ignore it. The hardest working seven-letter word....."SUCCESS" -- Achieve it. The most enviable eight-letter word......."JEALOUSY" -- Distance it. The most powerful nine-letter word......."KNOWLEDGE" -- Acquire it. The most essential ten-letter word......"CONFIDENCE" -- Trust it. ..Enjoy The Day You Look Very Funny Wearing That Belt. I Would Look Even Funnier If I Didn't Wear It. SANTA Ghar Ka Drwaza Ukhad Ke Kandhe Pe Rakh Ke Ja Raha Tha. Kisi Ne Pocha:oye Kahan Ja Rahe Ho? SANTA:Tala Khulwane. GIRL:Kya tum mere Ashiq ho? BOY: Haa hu.? GIRL: To phir mujhe 1000 ka recharge bhej do. BOY:Thumhara Aashiq hu Vodafone walo ka DAMAAD NAHI hu.. Husband-jee karta hai mai tumhari julfon me khojaun,ankhon me basjaun, thumhari bahon me jhuljaun. Wife-Devanand hi rahoge ya kabhi 'Imran Hashmi bi banoge. Sardar:Aaj Ghar jate hi biwi ki panty utarunga. Dost:Aaj bade mood me ho? Sardar:Mood ki aisi ki tesi,Bahut tight hai,Subah galti se pehen li thi. A small thought: ''Nothing Is Interesting..., If You Are Not Interested...!'' good nit... Why Do You Take Baths In Milk? I Can't Find A Cow Tall Enough For A Shower. What is the similarity between a cell phone and Women....? More fingering reveals more features...! "Respect cannot come from force- it must be WON." Don't be frightened to ask a question. They are easier to handle than mistakes. Suprabhat. Haribol. Ek sardar sukhe talab me boat chala raha tha Dusra: aise sardaron ne hi hamara naam kharab kar rakha hai, agar mujhe tairna aata to wahin jake do marta saale ko Men are born with two eyes,but with one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say... . Suprabhat. Haribol. Fastest centuries in the world: Azhar-with 64 balls Sehwag-with 60 balls Jaysuriya-with 48 balls Afridi-with 37 balls & ?????? Dhritrashtra-with 2 Balls. Wife Hints 2 sardar 4 A New Car Saying, "Dear,Buy Me Smthing That Goes 0 To 85 In 3 Secs When I m On It" Sardar Gifted Her a "Weighing Machine" Girl to Ladu frnd: Jab tum sex karti ho to kya apne husband se baat karna pasand karti ho? She Replied: Agar Phone nazdeek pada ho to kar bhi leti hoon..! Suprabhat. The Person Who Loves You A Lot Will Always Do Two Things EXTREMELY For You. 1. Silently CARING. 2. Openly HURTING To Make You PERFECT. Haribol. Worth a Thought- Apologising doesn't mean dat I m wrong & d other 1 is right... It only means dat I value relationship much more than my ego. Bank Teller: How Do You Like The Money? English Student: I Like It Very Much. The Real Estate Agent Says, I Have A Good, Cheap Apartment For You. The Men Replies, By The Week Or By The Month? IPL JUNUN- Wife tv par match dekh rahi thi. Husband smart banke aaya aur bola- DARLING MAIN KAISA LAG RAHA HU? Tabhi wife jor se chillayi... CHAKKAAAAA!!! Funny..But so true.. If power's gone in america, they call EB office. In japan, they test fuse. But, In India, they see neighbours house.. ;) Customer:Excuse Me,But I Saw Ur Thumb In My Soup When U Were Carrying It.Waitress:Oh,Thats Okay.The Soup Isnt Hot. Children in dark make mistakes.. -Swami vivekananda Mistakes in dark make children... ->swami Nithyananda... Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the PRESENT. Suprabhat. Haribol. The best cosmetic for lips is Truth, for voice is Prayer, for eyes is Pity, for hand is Charity, for heart is Luv & for life is Friendship. Suprabhat. Haribol. GADHA-Mera malik boht marta h.2nd GADHA-Toh tu bhag ja.GADHA-Jab uski ladki shor karti h to wo kehta h k teri shadi gadhe se kara dunga,bas isi umid pe tika hu Why Are There So Meny Smiths In The Phone Book? They All Have Phones. A Husband Said To His Wife, No, I Don't Hate Your Relatives. In Fact, I Like Your Mother-In-Law More Than I Like Mine. "To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are." --Muhammad Ali. Suprabhat. Haribol. Fauji's wife sends daily a new nude foto to her husband with both legs wide open- I'll WAIT LIKE THIS TILL U RETURN, FAUJI: Thats ok, but who's bloody taking the fotos.? Sardar in a Art Gallery : Yeh bhayanak Tasvir ko aap modern Art kehte hai??? Art Dealer : Mere baap, Tu dimag mat laga. Yeh Aaina hai. ! ! "Comparison is the best way to judge our progress But not with others, compare your yesterday with your today...... Suprabhat. Haribol. -------- Question:- What "MORAL" do You Learn From having "SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE ONLY"...??? . ? . ? . ? . Answer:- Something Is Better Than Nothing...! Sardar 2 taxi driver-Siddhivinayak jaoge kya ? Taxi driver-Haan sahab.. Sardar-thik he wapas aate waqt mere liye prasad le ke aana... Boy: Aunty hum fruit chaat ki dukan kholenge Aunty: Lekin customer kaise aayenge? Boy: Main aawaz lagaunga, "10 rupey mein Aunty ki Chaat lo". Sardar ne apni girlfrnd k kandhe pe hath rakha aur bahut dhire se bola: "I LOVE YOU " Girlfriend : "Jor se bolo" Sardar: "JAI MATA DI" Vidai K time DULHE Ka Mobile Baja, DULHAN Ne Thapad Maar Diya..? Ringtone Thi- Dil Me Chupake Pyar Ka Armaan Le Chale, Hum Aaj Apni Maut Ka SaaMen Le Chale.! Forgiveness is d economy of d heart.... Forgiveness saves d expenses of anger, d cost of hatred, d waste of spirits. Suprabhat. Haribol. Best SMS of 1947: . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tb MOBILE tha kya? SMS to Dur ki Baat h.. Thoda to Dimag Lgao.. Bs kch b bhejo padne lg jate ho. According To Doctor A Men Is Declared Dead When His Heart Ceases To Beat And A Women When Her Tongue Ceases To Move. Whenever we do something positive in life, even if no one is watching,we rise a little bit in our own eyes. A sardarji went to a STD/ISD,PCO And slapped the operator twice.. Guess why ?Bcoz there it was written number dial karnay se pehley do lagayein..:) Fil in d blnks 1.BOO_S? 2. _ _NDOM? 3.F_ _ K? 4.P_ N_S? 5.PU_S_? Ans: 1.BOOKS 2.RANDOM 3.FORK 4.PANTS 5.PULSE... But I like the way you think! Jet-Air launchd wife free wid Husbnd on busines trip. Aftr big success, Jet sent letters 2 al wives askin their xprience.99% wives wrote: Wat Trip? Wen? Where? A Committee Is A Group Of People Who Individually Can Do Nothing, But As A Group Decide That Nothing Can Be Done. Indian girl married a Spaniard and went with him to Spain. She didn't know Spanish. So while buying chicken leg she showed her leg. The shopkeeper understood and gave it! She followed this routine for all goods. But one day she wanted to buy bananas. So she took her husband to the shop... Now don't think dirty... He knows Spanish! Humility helps in maintaining good relationship with others# Trust brings cooperation from others. Haribol. Exam question: Prove Sin x = 6n Sardar: cancelled the 'n' on both sides.. Then wrote six=6 Dont mess with Sardar! Sardars are asardar! :-D:-) Love Is Like A Cigar It Starts w/ A Fire Continues w/ Smoke & Ends In Ashes. But Don't Worry - We R Chain Smokers. Men Jumped In Water & Didnt Cm Out..Anothr Men Jumped In & Didnt Cm Out. Sardar Watching From A Distance Concluded: HuMen Beings are Soluble In water.. Saas-Bhgwan Ne Tuje 2-2 Ankhe Di, Chawal Me Se 2-4 Patthar Nhi Nikal Skti? Bahu-Bhgwan Ne 32 Daant Diye H, 2-4 Pthar Nhi Chaba Skti?? Arrrrre Funny oxymorons (a figure of speech where contradictory terms appear together) 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Act naturally 5.Found missing 6.Fully empty And mother of all: "HAPPILY MARRIED" lol............. Men: My 5 yr old son is so naughty that he made our maid pregnant! Friend: How's that possible? Men: He had punctured all my condoms with pin! Customer: If I Post Letter Tonight, Will It Get To Delhi? Post Master: Yes. Customer: But I Addressed To Mumbai. Light travels faster than sound... This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak Read this"LIFEISNOWHERE"What did you read ? "Life is No Where" or "Life is Now Here"! Just a Beautiful way to say -Life is the Way You Look at It. A famous quote written at Tokyo bus stand : " Only bus stops here,not time.So dont waste ur time,keep moving with ur duties". Suprabhat. Haribol Ek Couple Honeymoon Par Gaya... Hotel Menager Asked : "Sir,Register me Apka Naam Kya Likhna Hai.. Madam Ko Toh Hum Achhe Se Pehchaante Hain..!!" Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.. YAMDUT 100 LOG KO NARK LE JA RHE THE. RASTE ME NARAD JI MIL GAYE. NARAD-YE KYA YAMDUTON, ITNE SARE EK SATH? YAMDUT-MARCH CLOSING HAI,TARGET PURA KARNA Hai. Why do we close our eyes when we PRAY.Whn we CRY.Whn we DREAM.Whn we miss some1 whom, we LOVE.B'coz d most butiful thngs in life r nt seen.Bt felt by heart. What is success...? In simple words... When your "SIGNATURE" changes to "AUTOGRAPH" That is success...:-) Suprabhat. Hav a gr8 day:-) A girl was craving 4 zero Figure. She started crash Dieting, Lost Meny kgs. Then she made a tattoo on her Chest: "In case of Sex, this side is Front..!" What is beautiful is not always good,but what is good is always beautiful... Being important is not always good,but being good is always important. good morng Funda of the Millennium: A Women will alwys forgive & forget - but She'll nevr let u forget WHAT she has FORGIVEN & FORGOTTEN.. Sheikh's son??goes to?GerMeny?to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin?is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teatchers travel?by train." Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten?million dollar?cheque saying: "Stop embarassing us, go and?get yourself a train too" State Bank NEVER sends emails and embedded links asking you to update or verify personal and login details. NEVER RESPOND to such emails/SMS. A blind Men was begging on a street with a board that said "I'm blind, please help me" A guy passing that way saw him, took his board & wrote on it From that day onwards the Men got a heavy collection He wrote: "TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY,BUT I CANT SEE IT" Expressions can change your life. What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? DAMN! Be grateful to God that you Don't have Everything you Want, becoz you still have an Oppourtunity to be Happier Tomorrow, than Today. gud morning. "Success introduces you to the world... Failure introduces the world to you." Good evening... The Best Msg Ever...A baby fish asked her mother: Why can't we live on land? Mother fish: land is not the place for fishes... it's made for SELFISHES... If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless? What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH ! ''Alcohol isn't the answer to all the questions.'' Swami Vivekanand ''But if you don't get the answers it helps you to forget the questions.'' Vijay Mallya Smart guy to a sexy girl : Let me fuck u just 1 time, I'll b quick & pay u 20000. I'll throw the money on d floor & b4 u bend down & pick it up all, I'll b done. Girl likes d proposal & She calls her BF. BF: Its fine, but ask for 30000 & b very quick 2 pick d money. Aftr 4 hrs BF calls her & asks What happend? GF: Tht Bastard is still..aah...fucking me...aah. He brought all Coins.! Lesson: Please read the offer documents carefully before investing ! Girl: "Please come home for dinner." Boy gets excited. Goes 2 a Pharmacist & learns how to use a condom. When at her home he was shocked to see the girl's parents present. Girl: "Come in. Don't stand out. I never thought you were so shy." Boy: "I never knew your father was a Pharmacist !!! Example of Ethical Business... A Sign Board outside a famous Prostitutes house.. "Married men are NOT Allowed..we are here to SERVE the Needy.not the Greedy";-) Computer teacher asks a sardar : wht r the 2 latest versions of java?? Sardar replies... MarJava & MitJava !! 1 nursery class ka bacha bola-mam me aapko kaisa lagta hu? Mam-SO SWEET.. BACHA apni side K ladke se bola-dekha maine kaha tha na line marti Hai... Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet. All ladies suddenly stand up Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai, Baitho Baitho?: *;*;*;* *;*;%;*;* *;*;%*;* Fresh ) ( Flowers (____) For U, APKI HAR SUBAH IN PHOOLO KI TARAH MEHKTI RAHE . GOOD MORNING. Life Has Given Us'REAL EYES'.. To.. 'REALISE'.. The.. "REAL LIES" ! And Feel the Difference's What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan. Tip: To stop all alerts from sms channels, send DNDON A Famous Inspirational Speakr Said:"Bst Years of My Life wer spnt in d Arms of a Women who wasn't MY WIFE!" Audience ws in Shock & Silence He added:SHE WS MY MOTHR..Applaud.Applaud !! A Menager tried 2 crack dis at Home.Aftr a Drink, He said loudly 2 His Wife, in Kitchen: Best Years of My Life were spent in d Arms of a Women who wasn't my Wife Standing 4 a Moment trying 2recall d 2nd Half, he finally blurted out: I can't remember who She was By d time he regained his Senses, He was on a Hospital Bed recovering from Burns of Boiling Water Morl -DON'T COPY IF YOU CAN'T PASTE... Teacher ne pucha: Bachcho ye batao, jo log galat kaam karte hain,vo kahan jaate hain? Sharmaate hue ek student bola: sir vo log "ROSE GARDEN" jaate hain. HEIGHT OF DIPLOMACY : Forgetting wife's birthday & later telling her, "How can I remember honey, when u never look a year older." Good Morning ! The art of patience is not much about how long one can wait. BUT its About How one Behaves while Waiting! Have a Great Day. Take Your Care.. Quote of the day: Prostitution is the only industry where freshers are paid more than the experienced... By the next 10 months,our earth wil bcom 3 degrees hotter than its now. Our himalayan glaciers r melting at a rapid rate.So al of u lend ur hands 2fight global warming -Plant more trees. -Dont waste water. -Dont use or burn plastic. -Plz dont delete this msg without 4ward Nurse: A beautiful Women who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal ! In d month of march if any one praises u 4 ur Smartness Attitude Style Brilliancy Kick them.. How dare they fool u before april...;-) Diff. between Friend & Wife U can Tell ur friend "u r my best friend" But Do u have courage 2 tell ur Wife " U r my best wife ?" WARNING- Trying is injurious 1din papu 4bje uth gya.Ma kendi papu mera putr,papu mera sher,padh likhke,paisa kmaega dher.Papu bolya,na me tera putr,na koi sher,susu krn utha c,saun lga fer. 1 sardar har sunday holi khelta tha.admi ne pucha sardarji aap ye har sunday ko holi khelte kyo ho? Srdar-mene padha hai sunday is a HOLIday DUNIYA Me Kabhi Kisi Achey Insaan Ki Talash Mat Karo Wo Tumhe is Dunia Ki Bhid Me Kahi Nahi Milega Kyunki Mai Aksar Office/House me Hi Rahta Hu. Between yesterday's mistake & tommorow's hope,there's a fantastic opportunity...That's today.Live and feel lively.! Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car. Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. What do we live for if not to make the world less difficult for each other. Gud morng. Biwi: Wo saamne sharabi dekh rahe ho? 10 saal pehle maine use shadi ke liye inkaar kiya tha aur wo aajtak pi raha hai. Pati:Baap re. . itna lamba celebration! What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink. Telephone rings at night Husband : If its for me then say that i'm not at home. Wife answers : He is at home. Husband : What the hell? Wife : It was for me! Kyon dare zindagi mein kya hoga, kuch na hoga toh tajurba toh hoga. Suprabhat. Haribol. "People are hated for a single mistake, even though there are thousand reasons to love..." gm.. Thought of the day:- Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees. You are in the perfect position to pray. ...Gud Mrng'... Haribol. Teacher : Santa , Use the word HARASSMENT in a sentence. . . . Santa : HER-ASS-MEANT a lot to me when we were having Sex ! UR mind is UR great Friend if U control it. But UR mind is UR greatest ENEMY if it controls U! My wife thinks 'freedom of the press' means no-iron clothes. Tip: Search for related channels by sending SEARCH Web Teachr: Last semestr u wer roaming wid dat grl n dis semestr u r roaming wid othr..What do u think of urself! Boy: Syllabus changed mam...;-) Santa taklu He phir bhi roz saloon jata hay, Why ??? Kion k Saloon Santa Ka Hay What is every Men's daily need ??? Rosy and roti !!! Sardar ,Baap ki Death Par Bahut Roya.Phir Uski Behan Ka phone Aya toh Woh Or zyada Rone laga.Logo ne Pucha, kya hua?Sardar:Meri Behan K papa bhi guzar gaye.. Wrap a rainbow of joy in ur heart, Let the sun paint a smile on ur face, Remove all clouds of doubt & fear & receive god's gift of lifeü Have a Btfl day! HB Why financial year end is on 31st march?Becoz after clearing all the acounting and tax,we can start fooling govt. on 1 april for the next yr.. Fog challenges huMen sight to look across it. Likewise, our destinations are hidden by the fog of our own sight. Rise, chase & win.... Haribol. Boy-Miss Me apko kesa lgta hu. M:So swit. B:To me apne mumy-papa ko apk ghr kb bheju. M-vo Q? B-taki vo hmari bat age chlaye. M-ye kya bkwas h. B-tution k liye. Jewelry shop mein ek admi ki zabardast pitayi ho gai. Kyu ki Usne sales-girl se kaha " Ap ka ek ek 'item' gazab ka hai. Ab bataiye 'Sone' ka kya rate lengi? Q:Whats the difference between a good lawyer a great lawyer A:A good lawyer knows the law.A great lawyer knows the judge. You need Power, only when you want to do something harmful.......Otherwise,Love & Compassion are enough to get everything done.. Good Morning.Haribol. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take sprte vacations--we're doing everything we can 2 keep our marriage together. Arrested for laughing!~~~This is from an actual trial in the UK; A young Women who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.When she noticed a young Men smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing, She had him arrested.Then the case came before the court, the young Men was asked why he acted in such a Menner.His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement, which read 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident .The case was dismissed Talk with urself atleast once in a day...!Otherwise you may miss ur best friend in this world...! Enjoy being urself...! Good morn'g.... Haribol. Wife:1 bat bolu? Par maarna nahi Hsbnd:Bolo Wf:Mai Pregnant hu Hsbnd:Its Good news,dar kyo rahi thi? Wf:12th class me papa ko bataya tha,bahut mar padi thi,g.n. If U believe U can, U probably can. If U believe U won't, U most assuredly won't. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad. Gm Haribol Crmnl-Try Krna Muje Umar qaid Ho, Fansi Na Ho.. Srdr Lwyr-Don't Wry. Aftr Court. Crmnl-Kya hua? Srdr-Bahut Muskl Se Umar qaid mili,sale RIHA kr rhe the. Gudeve Sardar running after a bus, finally Menages to catch it. Confronting the driver he asks " Ye bus teri Maa lagti hai?" Driver: Nahin Sadar: To kya Behan lagti hai? Driver: Nahin. Sadar: To phir chadne kyun nahin deta? Wife reads a book & tells her husband: A bull fucks 1000 times a year. U don't do quarter of that. Husband says: does the book say that bull fuks the same cow.. Smtime v think..Y frends keep frwarding msges 2 us widout speaking words. D reason is that, v hv got nothing big 2 say, but still want to keep in touch...:-) Greetings!!! Today is 4th April, and its Easter. MilkyDwarf, Web Magazine - Benjamin Franklin said "There will be plenty of time to sleep when we are dead. Life is for the living." So lets wake up and perform... Good morning! Haribol. Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! Tip: To join a channel send ON 1 aurat ke 8 bachhe,Sab ka naam-Tinku.Kisi ne poocha 1 ko bulana ho to kya karti ho? Wo boli-Lo Kar lo baat ! Sab ke surname to alag hain !! Bhikhari:Sahab 1rup dedo. Sahab:Tumhe sharam nhi aati,road pr kade ho kar bhikh Mengte ho? Bhikhari:Abe tere1rup k liye office khol lu kya. Good day-Fly in the plane of ambition and land in the airport of success-Luck is yours, Wish is mine. May your future always shine. Good Morning. 1 Indian Ne 1 Chinese ladki se shadi ki 1Saal Bad Hi Wo Mar Gai.Use Rota Dekh Uska Dost Bola:Afsos Pr Soch China Ka Maal Aur Kitna Chalega ... Gm Sita Ji k Wanvas me Bahut Badi Seekh haiSita Ji k Wanvas me Bahut Badi Seekh hai "GHAR ME AGAR 3-3 SAAS HO TO JUNGLE HI THEEK HAI"! Ek Lift ke bahar ek note likha tha"Ladies ka khaas khayal karen" Aur uske Niche likha tha"EK Waqt mein sirf 6 Aadmi hi Chadhen". Q:Whats the differnce between mother wife A:1 Women brings into the world crying the other ensures U continue 2 do so. Teacher:- DHRITRASHTRA K 100 Putra the: PANDU Ke Sirf 5 Aisa Q? Student:- Sir, kyu ki Jinki Aankhe Hoti Hai, Unhe Aur Bhi Kaam Hote Hai.. A Men lost everything in a fire. Next day he placed a signboard: "Shop burnt. House burnt. Goods burnt. Bt FAITH NOT BURNT. Business starts tomorrow." Q-I love u kehne ka sab se behtar din kaun sa hai ? ? Guess? Simple yar 1st April Agar baat ban gaye to cool agar na keh do April Fool! Santa was touching a lady in a crowded bus. Lady-Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain! Santa- Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta. :-P An Excellent Road Sentence written in NATIONAL HIGHWAY: "IF U WANT TO DONATE BLOOD,DON'T DO IT ON THE ROAD..PLZ DONATE IT IN THE BLOOD BANK" Drive safely.. Line Outside A Temple: Why Should We Believe In God? Because There Are Some Problems Which Cannot Be Answered By Google.! Public appeal: Pls don't write anything on currency notes. They can't be used for standard transactions.. You won't find written notes in atm. Because of written notes, The Indian Government loses Rs2000 crores per year. Pls forward it to all Indians... "Have a usable fwd msg..!" Men Conducting Marketing Survey asked a Lady:"Which Book Has HeLped you most in your Life?" Lady:My Husband's "Cheque Book!" If a baby is born in africa what wil b d color of d babies teeth?: u waste this much time. . . . Guess . . How wil a new born baby hav teeth? Pati:- Darling.. Kayi saal pahle tumhara figur bilkul COKE ki botal ki tarah tha. Patni:- wo to ab bhi hai. Bas pahle botal 300ml ki thi, ab 1.5 litre ki hai:-D To be a star, one must shine in his own way. Follow his own path & not to worry about the darkness. Its b'coz of the darkness that stars shine brighter. Gm. HB "I will be a Reason for One's Happiness and not be a Part of it & I will be a Part of One's Sadness and not a Reason for it." Words to live by ..KEEP SHINING.. Yesterdays Breaking News : 42 yr aunty was raped by a 22 year boy in jogging park. Today's News : Park is full of aunties...:- Americn 2 srdar on a beach:R u relaxin. srdr: No I m pratap sing. Another american: R u relaxing. Srdr: No yar i m pratap singh. Now sardar to another american sitting on beach: R u relaxing. Amrcan:Yes. Sardar slaps him n says:Sab tujhe dhundh rahe hai aur tu yahan baitha hai!!! KAHANI ME TWIST: Premika:Main maa banne wali hu. Premi: Kya bakwas kar rahi ho? Premika:Bakwas nahi,main tumhare baap se shadi karke tumhari maa banne wali hu! If u can't find the brighter side of LIFE.. Then Polish the Darker side. Adjustment of ATTITUDE is the only instrument 2 live a LIFE. Gud morng. Money is not everything. There's Master Card & Visa also. Tip: Search for related channels by sending SEARCH Web AEROPLANE, :Wright brothers. CYCLE : Macmillan TELEPHONE : Graham Bell TELESCOPE :Galileo MARRIAGE ??????? Dhund k lao Saale ko, bahot marenge !!!! Takdir k khel se kbhi nirash nahi hote,Zindgi me kabhi udas nahi hote,Hatho ki lakiro pe kabhi yaki mat karna,Takdir to unki bhi hoti he jinke hath nhi hote . Boss: Ek acha mirror leke aao jisme mujhe mera face smart dikayi de.! .. Santa: Boss nhi mila.. me sab dukan me gaya par sab me mera hi face dikhayi diya..! Lets see how's ur english... If a Beggar- Begs Lover- Loves cutter- Cuts den a Fakir....?? . . . . also begs yaar... But I like the way you think... ;-) Anger is False Show Of Strength By a Weak Person... While Politeness And a Cool Mind Reflects Dignity And Strength Of a Strong Person. Success will never Lower its Standard to accomodate us We have to raise our Standard to achieve it. FOR EVERY BIRD GOD PROVIDES FOOD, BUT, NOT IN THEIR NEST. GM We judge others by their behaviour but ourselves by our intentions. It will cost 38 trillion dollers to create a oxygen for 6 month for all huMen beings earth... But 'TREE DO IT FOR FREE'.. 'SO SAVE TREEs' GM Soul1: Hw did u die? Soul2: due 2 cold,U? S1: I doubted my wife wid a Men & searchd my house, found none, felt guilty & suicided S2: Haha i was in d Fridge ;-) One should love animals. They are so tasty. Smaller things upset more in life than bigger onesü You can be on top of a mountain comfortably, but u cant be on top of a needle, THAT IS LIFEü SUPRABHAT. HB Men with no p@nis used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me? Men: I will explain about the toy, can u explain d 2 kids. The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: "Everything" and the book is titled: . . . . . . . . . "What Women Want".. :);-) Lady 2 punjab police: ji mera pati 5 din pehlan gobbi lean gya si,hale tak ni aaya. Punjab police :fer ki hoya,koi hor sabji bnalo,jruri gobbi hi bnani hai.@ Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. Tip: To reply to this message send SEND Barak Obama : IPL mein MARWAADI aur GUJRAATI ki Team kyun Nahi Hai ? Men Mohan Singh Replied : Sab Cricket Khlenge To.. " SATTA "(bettings) Kaun Khelega!.!: Greetings !!! 14th April is tomorrow, Nation observes Baba Saheb Ambedkar Jayanti, author of the Constitution of India. BSE / NSE closed for the day. To subscribe SMS dwarf S on 56070 Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film... What is a 'Free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free? Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them... Tip: Search for related channels by sending SEARCH Web "In the game of Life it's not important 2 hold all the GOOD relations.. But it's more important how GOOD you behave with the relations which u HOLD" A poster on TV at peace rally in mumbai.... "Politicians divide us... Terrorists unite us..."truly superb... God said: I cannot be everywhere so I created MOTHER. Devil Replied: Even I can't be everywhere so I created WIFE. - For all those who luv to drink. Ek bahut pahuche hue Sharabi ne kaha tha... "DAARU PEEO INSAAN BANO, ROTI TO KUTTE BHI KHATE HAIN" Sardar Calls FM Radio:I hv found wallet wid Rs15000, of MrKamaljit.RJ:Sir u want 2 return d wallet.Sardar:Nahi pagal hai tu, I wan2 dedicate a sad song2 him. "A devoted husband is one who always thinks of his wife while sleeping with other Women, rather than thinking of others while sleeping with his wife" Good Day! Sard1:Bombay is d best city in d world. Evrythng is free.Food,lodging,pickup,drop,even sex. Sard2:wen did u go 2 bombay. sard1:.My wife went She told me... Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear... Tip: To join a channel send ON Sardar's Leave application Dear Sir, My wife is ill. As ter is no other Husband in the family to look after her, So Kindly grant me leave for one day. " Success is just like being pregnant... Everybody congratulates U but nobody knows how Meny times you were fu _ _ ed. . . . . ! ". 1 Hathi roMentic mood me 1 Chinti ko chedta hai. Chinti gusse me jakar Hathini se shikayat krti hai, APNE AWARA PATI KO SAMJHA LO, VRNA MARD HMARE GHAR ME V HAI. Srdar train ki patri pr so gya... Ek admi bola,"Train ayegi to mar jaega!" Srdar,"Sale abi abi aernplane upr se gya kuch nhi hua to train kya chiz h?" Living with expectation "2GET" & "2GIVE" creates problems, But.. living with the attitude "2FORGET" & "2FORGIVE" solves Meny problems...! Good Morning. ~ Sachi Baat ~ Agar apki ankh achi hai to apko dunya achi lagegi Lekin Agar apki zuban achi hai to aap duniya ko ache lagoge... Good morning. Hardest moment is not when U loose sumthing and Tears cum out of ur eyes.. .. But .. It is when U loose sumthing n still Menage to Smile...so always smile . A School Held a contest for kids with the theme: "The Nicest Thing My Dad Ever Did For Me" Award Winning sweet Answer was " HE MARRIED MY MOM " 1s a Men gav 50 rs tip 2 the waitr. W: sir, ystrdy ur son gav 500 rs tip, & u gav only 50? Genuine rply by Men: He is the son of millionaire, Im the son of farmr! We do not get mature when we start speaking "badi badi baatein".. But we actually get mature when we start understanding "choti choti baatein". Good Morning.. Mr. Bean went to sleep. What did he become? (Pls my humble request Dont throw ur cell after reading answer... but can't help this) Ans-: Soya Bean.:-P 1 sardar ko exam me koi sawal nahi aa raha tha to sardar ne hr swal ke neche llllllllllllllllll lines laga di or likha. scratch kr k answer padh lo... Funny Definitions 1) Fashion: Lungi with a zip 2) Laziness: Asking lift for a morning walk 3) Craziness: Get blank paper xeroxed 4) Honesty: Prgnent Women taking 2 tickets 5) Dehydration: Cow giving milk powder 6) Overconfidence: A 99 years old Women purchasing a lifetime sim card. . . Gud morn nd a nice day ahead . Sunanda Pushkar is now Himesh Reshammiya's new heroine. The name of the film? ' AAP KA THAROOR' Whats longer than wife's love? Whats lovelier than sister's fight? Whats warmer than dad's hug? Whats sweeter than a baby's kiss? Whats tastier than mom's food? Whats stronger than a Frn's shoulder? Ans: Nothing ! There are no substitutes. Never miss them. Have a meaningful day ! SUCCESS isn't a matter of being the BEST and WINNING the Race; its a matter of HANDLING the Worst and FINISHING the Race. Sardar1: When I was small, I fell down from qutub minar.. Srdr2: So u survived or died Srdr1: I dont remember. dat time I was so small...!!;-). Naughty: Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain ! Girl: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge? Boy: Bilkul nahi ! Girl: To phir rehne do. Kabir Das ne kaha hai ki "KAL kare so Aaj kar.. . . . ." Sardar ji ne pucha Ab mujhe koi yeh bataye Kal aane wali potty ko Aaj kaise kare?:-D :-) Bapu gandhi ne kaha: izzat karni ho to wife KI karo, khayal rakhna ho to wife ka rakho, pyar karna ho to wife se kro Mgar wife kis ki ho? Yeh bapu ne nhi btaya. Sindhi:Chal RACE lagate hai. Jo haara wo 1000/- dega. Sardar:Thik hai pr muje rsta nai pta. Sindhi:Bas tu mere PICHHE-PICHHE rehna..! Sardar:"THANX YAAR" Ek Sardar paani pee raha tha.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ab kya sardaar chain se paani bhi nahi pee sakte? Saalo isme bhi joke chahiye? Santa ko rota dekhkar friend ne pucha kya hua? Santa: Bohat bada dhokha, maine 2 ton ka AC kharida, ghar aakar tola to sirf 35 kilo ka nikla.. "When I was 10, Rubber meant eraser, Ass meant donkey, Pussy meant cat and Cock meant rooster" Thinking has changed with time Good GoodGood Good Good Good Good Good Good Good Good Good GoodGood Goodood Gooood Goood Good Night Nigght Nighght Nightight NightNight Night Night Night Night Night Night Night Night Sweet Dreams.... Hurt me with the TRUTH but never comfort me with a LIE. Suprabhat. Haribol. Boys shayri- Jala dena ya dafna dena, Marte waqt 1 ghoot beer pila dena, main tajmahal nahi Mengta yaaro, bas meri qabar pe 1 girls hostel bana dena...... 1st Baby: Mere Papa Bahut Darpok Hai. 2nd Baby: Why ? 1st Baby: Jab Bhi Road Cross karte Hai,Meri Ungli Pakad Lete Hai aur Kehte Hai Chhodna Mat.. God Ne Aurat Ko Sunder Banaya khubsurat Sharir Dia hirni C Akhe resham se Baal gulab Se hoth pyar Bhara Dil Diya; fir Juban Dekar Sab Kiye Par Pani Fer Diya.. A Lion killed a Madrasi in the zoo. Monkey asked: "Why did you particularly kill a Madrasi?" Lion said: Kuch nahi yaar,aaj "South Indian" khane ka mood tha. Happiness:-) always looks small if U hold it in Ur hands. But when U learn to share it, U will realize how big & precious it is.... Take care:-) Wife: kyun ji! Jab bhi mein aapke pass aati hun to aap chashma pehente ho? Husband: Doctor ne kaha hai jab SAR DARD aaye to chashma pehen lena. Gm HB Belive it or not, But check it... 'If u r happy u'll remember the person whom u love...' 'If u r sad u'll remember the person who loves u... A superb line by chetan bhagat in an interview,"the amt of money that is in ur bank at the time of death, is the extra work u did that u should not have done". Telephone rings at night Husband : If its for me then say that i'm not at home. Wife answers : He is at home. Husband : What the hell? Wife : It was for me! Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao.. student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shaadi-suda tha.. Gaftn. 3 sardar sleeping on 1 bed. They dint get sufficent space. 1 sardar got down 2 sleep on floor. Remainin 2 sardar said "Now space is available come back" COOL FUNDAMENTALS OF LIFE 1. Money is not everything. There's also Mastercard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Don't shout in class as it disturbs those who are sleeping. 7. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 8. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life. ENJOY LIFE; ... If any dog @ attacks u .IL <@_,V < > <@_,V__, < @> /V < L ,_@> ,__V L <@_,V__, ./ Don't do comedy lik this. Just run.. Our lives r always so hectic with little time 2 spare, but days get brightr wen u get a msg frm someon sayin. ''oy stupid i still care for you":) Love is ... an English word"... :-) :-) One Saturday evening, a wel suited Men with a Sexy Girl Entered a Jewellery Shop & Chose a Ring Worth Rs. 2 Lacs for the girl. He gave a cheque to the Shop owner & said : "I'll collect the Ring on Monday after the cheque is cleared. On Monday the Jeweller called the Men : "Sir ! There's no money in Your Account..." Men replied : "I know.. But can You just Imagine What a Weekend I had..!" It took only 1Women to bring down Lanka, Only 1 Women to create Mahabharat,Only 1Women to bring Down the IPL,Women are so powerful ! Ali ke 4 bachche hue. Naam rakhe- Yusuf ali, Rajjaaq ali, imaam ali, Mehar ali. fir 2 or hue to ali ki bivi ne naam rakhe- Bas kar ali, Reham kar ali. After Sardarji had a knee surgery.. Doctor said: Sir, for 10 days, you'll need to use a walker. Sardarji-No problem doctor, I daily use JOHNNY WALKER. Good morning The world's happiest person never gets all the best things around him. He just makes "The best of what he gets". Good Morning Boy- Aapki Kameez Phati Hui Hai.! Girl- Phati Nahi, Ye Fashion Hai.. Boy- Accha Khud Faado To FASHION.. Hum Faade To POLICE STATION. American says: India is backward in sex technology.Angry sardar started shaking his body. American: Y r u shaking?sardar: I am fucking UR wife via BLUET00TH Santa ko uska Sasur Jute Mar Raha Tha. Aadmi: Q Mar Rhe Ho? Sasur: Iski Biwi ne Hospital Se SMS Kiya, TUM BAAP BAN GAYE HO, Isne Apne Frnds Ko Frwd kr dya. Santa writing his diary:my eldr brthr had a baby this morng,i dnt know that D baby is a boy or a girl. so i am crazy to know whether i m chacha or chachi.. Fact of life : whenever we find the key to success, Some idiot changes the lock.So, forget the key.. Learn to break the doors... Sardar writing his medical entrance exam, gives definitions as follow: *Antibody: Against everybody *Artery: Study of fine paintings *Genes: Blue denims *Hymen: Greeting to several males *Labour pain: Hurt at work *Liposuction: French kiss *Microbes: Small dressing gowns *Cardiology: Advanced study of playing cards *Cat scan: Searching for lost cat *Coma: Punctuation mark *Bacteria: Back door to a cafeteria! Gyan:- Agar duniya me mehnat ki Qadar hoti To Gadha sub se zyada izzat dar hota..! Dedicated to all hardworking and busy friends.. Sound becomes music, Movement becomes dance, Smile becomes laughter N Life becomes celebration. - - - When friends keep in touch. Good morning Important Health tips: > Answer the phone by left ear. > Dont take medicine with cold water. > Dont have huge meals after 5 pm. > Drink more water in the morning, less at night. > Best sleeping time is from 10 pm to 4 am > Dont lie down immediately after taking medicine. > When battery is down to last bar,dont answer the phone, as the radiation is 1000 times stronger.! Convey this to those whom u care for. Kindness costs nothing...! &TAKE CARE good evening Ek Chor Ek ghar mein chori karne gaya.. Tijori par likha tha "Tijori ko todne ki jarurat nahi 452 number lagao aur saamne wala lal button dabao,tijori khul jayegi Jaise hi chor ne button dabaya alarm baja aur police aa gayi Jate waqt chor ghar wale se bola- "Aaj INSANIYAT se mera VISHWAS uth GAYA" In Life dont settle for some one who buys you a coffee.. Go for someone who makes it for u.. Little efforts make a big difference...:):) Pakistani couple walking out of the divorce court .. Biwi is crying her heart out .. Miya: for Allah's sake !! STOP crying !! WE ARE STILL COUSINS ! Doctor : sardarji apki kidny fail ho gayi hai. Sardarji : aap bahot hi majak karte he, meri kidny kabhi school hi nahi gayi to fail kaise Hogi........! han Bahut Der ke Baad Train Chali Muslim Bola-ya Ali Hindu Bola-Jai Bajrang Bali Ek Sardar Bola- kya Ali, kya Bali? Ullu ke Pattho Train TO BAJU WALI CHALI I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 59 plepoe(icnldunig me) can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! :-x A sweet fight GIRL- "I want to end our relationship... I'm going to return u, everything tht u gave me." Boy-"Ok then.. Let's Start with Kisses": Santa order 4 a chicken in dhaba.. When the cook started chopping onions 4 it.. Santa shouted-"mat daal na , Oye pyaz mat daal na Navratri chal rahi hai. See a Mistake as just a Mistake, Not "MY" Or "HIS" Mistake. "MY" brings Guilt "HIS" brings Anger Only. "Mistake" Brings Realisation & possible Improvement. A frog asked an astrolger: pls tel my future. Ast : a young smart Gal will touch u. Frog : wow. great. when & where? Ast : next semester in biology lab.. :-) Hyderbad ke Nizam ka face 1 dhobi Se milta tha. Nizam ne dhobi Se Pucha :kya tumhari amma hamare mahal me dasi thi?Dhobi:nahi huzur,mere abba ghulam the. Ek terrorist ne ek budhiya ke paas bomb rakh diya. Log chillaye: Budhiya bomb hai !Wo sharma kar boli: Wo to main jawani mein thi. When evry one has left u and no one is around u and u r standing all alone in some corner of this world, always remember 1 thing.. Its d best time 2 scratch ur ASS.;-> Most innocent dhamki. As the thief was leaving the house, kid woke up & said: "Mera school bag bhi le ja KAMINE warna mummy ko jaga dunga" Santa ne 1 college khola.. Banta-yaar Santa tu apne coleg ka nam sabse alag rakhna. Santa- mene college ka naam rakha- "SANTA SINGH GIRLS COLLEGE 4 BOYS" UMBRELLA Can't Stop The Rain, But Make Us To Stand In Rain... Confidence May Not Bring Success But It Gives A Power To Face Any Challenge...! God: "Agle janam mein kya ban na chahoge?" Santa: "Ji COCKROACH !" God (surprised): "Lekin kyun?" Dukhi Santa: "Meri Biwi sirf uss se hi daarti hai...!" ;) U think u r an expert in hindi.Check these words... CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe le takaatak de takaatak LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par le tada tad, de tada tad LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr GaMen Aagya Patr RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaMen suchak yantra BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Menav Rakt Pipasu Jeev One love story... Once my Lover invited me to her home. I went to her home but she was not there. Her sister was alone there.. She is looking sexy n she asked me why dont we have sex now? Suddenly i got up and walked towards my bike that time my lover standing at the door. she hugged me and said " you won my test, i will mary you"... MORAL OF THE STORY: always keep condoms in bike not in pocket... G AN A Good Apology has 3 parts: 1) I'm Sorry. 2) It's my Fault. and 3) What can i do to make it Right?... But most people Miss the 3rd Part... :-) Shkespere said: If U Wnt 2 B Hapy Wid a Men, Luv him less bt undrstnd him mor & If U Wnt 2 B Hapy Wid a Women Luv her mor & nvr try 2 undrstnd her... It will cost 38 trillion dollers to create a oxygen for 6 month for all huMen beings earth... But 'TREE DO IT FOR FREE'.. 'SO SAVE TREEs' GM Most interesting line written on the front of T-shirt of a girl, . . . . . . . Excuse me ! My face is above. 1 boy touched hand of his GF & said -U R SO HOT BABY. GF slaps & say- Saale,103 degree fever hua hai,aur tu roMentic bate kr rha hai. Lady to Judge : Mujhe mere Pati se talaak chahiye Judge : Lekin Woh toh kabbadi champion hai Lady : Yahi toh problem hai, sirf touch kar ke bhaag jaata hai. Girl Friend - Is week roz shopping karenge, Next week roz movie dekhenge. Boy Friend - Uske agle week roz Mendir me jayenge! GF - Why ???? BF - BHIKH maangne;-) Sanskrit teacher asked-santa what is the meening of tamsomaa jyotirgamaya? Santa said-tum so jao ma mai jyoti ke ghar ja raha hu. . . An old farmer wrote to his Innocent son in prison, "Tis yr i wont b abl 2 plant potatoes coz I cant dig d ground. I know if u wer here u wud help me" D son replied "Dad, dont think of digging d ground coz Tats wher i buried d guns" Police reads da ltr nd D very next day, d whole ground was dug by police lookin 4 guns, but nothin was found. D son wrote again, "now plant ur potatoes dad, it's d best i cud do from here" WHERE THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY! HanuMenji ke 7nam 1-HanuMen 2-Bajrangbali 3-Marutinandan 4-Pavanputra 5-Sankatmochan 6-Ramdut 7-Mahavir ...Jai Bajrangbali. Agar Ghee Seedhi Ungali Se Na Nikle To Ghee ko Garam Kar Lo Har Cheez Me Ungali Karna Achi Baat Nahi. Kuch samjhey... Final yr ka student- fail hona chahta hu .Dost-Q? Studnt-papa ne kaha hai ki 1st aya to MCA krva dunga, 2nd aya to M.Sc, fail hua to shaadi kara Dunga If life is a game, I pray that u always win, If life is a journey, I pray u walk on roses. If life is full of joy, I pray that u always "SMILE" A foreigner had a very spicy Indian dinner, Next mrng he comes out of toilet & says;) "Now i knw y Indians use water? Tissue can catch fire!!!! Doctor : sardarji apki kidny fail ho gayi hai. Sardarji : aap bahot hi majak karte he, meri kidny kabhi school hi nahi gayi to fail kaise Hogi han ! 2 Men in a Marriage- Abhi Kal ki baat Hai, Ye Ladki Meri Godi me Khelti thi@ 2nd- Kya Aap iske Baap ho@ 1st- Nahi, Mai iska Boss hu.. Aadmi (Kumbhmela me) : He Prabhu, Teri kripa se Kumbhmela me bhai-bhai ko bichhadte dekha hai, Kabhi Kabhi Pati-Patni par bhi kripa barsao. Jab gabbar ne janam liya, to maa ne maar-maar ke LAHOOLUHAN kar diya ! nurse ne pucha -kyon maar rahi ho. maa boli - puchta hai kitne aadmi the ? U R GREAT, If U Can Find Ur FAULTS.. U R GREATER, If U Can Remove Or Reduce Them.. But U R GREATEST, If U Accept & Love Others With Their Faults. Good morning Snta talking on Phone Bnta: Kis se Baat kar rahe ho? Santa: Biwi se Banta: Itne pyar se..? Santa: Tumhari hai. A Boy doing maths homework, "2 + 2 son of bitch Is 4" Mom was shocked. She went to the teacher. Teacher said: We teach 2+2 sum of which is 4. Don't doubt urself if U r not the Best, Doubt urself only if U didn't do ur Best... Good Morning.... Take care. Haribol. Wife:Bakre ki zubaan pakai hai khaoge? Husband:Mai muh se nikli hui cheez nahi khata. Wife:To phir anda bana du? Pearl of d Day: "Arguement Wins d Situation But Loses d Person..!! "So, Never Argue unnecesrly with ur Dear Ones just to win Situation..!!! Frndship is not a word,Nt merely a relationship, It is a silent promise wich says "I was" . "I am" & . . . . . . . "I wil be" . a headache 4 u 4evr & evr.. Santa got promotion From clerk to Menager. He went home And told His wife, in new style "Tu aaj Raat se MenAGER KE SAATH SOYEGI''... Biwi behosh !!! Xcellent saying by a great philosopher " Love is that beautiful Forest where Brave Tigers are Killed by the attractive eyes of Beautiful Deers"... "Its Not Important To Go To Heaven After we Leave.. But Its Important to Create Heaven Everywhere we Go. The best compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. Good Day :):-):-):-) On An Old Men's Shirt Was Written A Cute Sentence : "I Am Not 65 Years Old.... I Am Sweet 16 With 49 Years Experience...." This Is What Is Called Attitude...! There r only 5 things v need in life: Good Friends Good Income Good Food Good Sleep & Good _uck.. dont worry,both d alphabets which u r thinkng r right... papu-Train me yaar raat bhar nind nahi ayi..Upar ki seat mili thi.. Dipu-To exchange krna tha.. papu-Kis se karta..? Neeche ki seat pe koi nahi tha.. Bipasha ko ladka hua... Bilkul kala. John ne kaha, 'Tu gori, main gora, ladka kaise kala ?' Bipasha replied, 'Tu Hot, Main Hot.. .. Jal Gaya Saala !!' What do u call two sardars standing on opposite footpaths?...............................................Jokes apart.. Teacher to d class- agar girls janeu pahne to kaisa dikhega?Boy- percentage k symbol jaisa. Deadly Pj Which food grain proclaims itself as being homosexual? Ans- wheat..(Gay-hu) :D Last words written by HITLER b4 he killed himself : "If u Win,u Need Nt Have to Explain" "If u Lose, u Should Not Be There to Explain"..! Luck is like Sand in Hands.. No matter Gripped Firmly or Held Loosely,, It'll Sneak Out through Ur Fingers.. Only Hands in d Praying Posture can Save It. Good Morning Beat this pj > What do u call Ram, If he gets Jaundice. Think? Haldiram.. Sardar thought ''lol'' means ''lots of love'' So 1 day his friend's mother died,he sent him the followin txt: " sorry to hear abt da death of ur mum...lol!!" Time is always playing chess with us. It makes a move in our life & then sits back 2 see how we react to the CHALLENGES. So make the best move.......! Good Morning Bivi ko thapad marne ke baad, Pati bola- Admi use hi marta hai, jise wo pyar karta hai, Bivi ne bhi do khich ke mare our dhire se boli, Aap kya samjhte ho ki main aap se pyar nahi karti.GM Gadha-mera maalik bahut maarta h.2nd gadha-to tu bhaag jaa.Gadha-jab uski ladki shor karti h to wo kehta h k teri shaadi gadhe s karunga,bas isi aas p hu "THINK B4 U INK" if u get a chance 2 write somthin on my hand,such dat it wont washout till last.Then wat u would wrte..? 1 CYCLE WALE NE 1 BANDA THOK DIYA OR BOLA AAJ TUM BADE LUCKY HO BANDE NE PUCHA Q CYCLIST BOLA AAJ MERI CHUTTI HE NAI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA HU. Ha ha ha. G'aftnHB Great Motivational Phrase: "I know I am somthing, Bcoz, GOD doesn't create garbage" so Belive in Yourself. Birth was not our choice Death will not be our choice But The way we live our life Is our choice Absolutely ours... So live it Happily..... goodmorng...... Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expections... Gud morng. Haribol. 1Pagal Aadmi Bahut Der Se Chand Ko Dekh Raha Tha.. Aur Thodi Der Baad Bola 'Jalte Raho Beta, Jab Bijli Ka Bill Aayega Tab Pata Chalega'_ :-) Gd Evening Nikah K Waqt Maulvi Ne MehMeno Se Puccha, Kisi Ko Is Shaadi Pe Aitraaz To Nahi Hai.? 1 Bola- Mujhe Hai.! Maulvi-AMA yar Tum Chup Raho Tum DULHE Ho.!! Santa ka beta 3rd std fail hua,School ne usko 2nd me bheja, 2nd me fail hua,to use 1st me bheja.Santa biwi se: Tange khuli rakhna,ye gandu vapas aa raha hai.. Ladke wale: ye kya batmiji hai aapki ladki ko sahrm nahi aati,undrgrment me hi aa gai. Ladki wale: aap ne hi to kha tha ki ladki hume sirf 2 kapdo main chahiye. THOUGHT :Sab kahte hain,"Akele aaye they, Akele Jayenge",Par sach to ye hai.... "Bina 2 ke koi aata nahi, Aur Bina 4 ke koi jata nahi.." A cup of hot hello's, A plate of crispy wishes, A spoon of sweet smiles & slice of great success. Hope this breakfast make ur day lovely... ! GUD Mrng....! I dont kno wats the matter wit u.i have sent Meny msgs but no reply.i dont think u like me so ill never bother u again .im deletin ur no. SARDAR SENT THIS TO CUSTOMER CARE Wen people see my msgs, they think Im addicted 2 messaging. They r wrong bcoz they dont knw that it's d lovely relationshp whch Im addicted to. Good morning. Physics ka bhi baap: . . . Question:- Which liquid turns 2 solid on heating..??? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BESAN KE PAKODE.. A single spelling mistake that caused a divorce!! A Men went to goa & sent a msg 2 wife- "having d most amazing & wonderful time, wish u were HER" Height of bad english : A girl went to office for the first day n boss said aao tumhara sabse intercourse karata hun...! ;-) 1 ladki k T-SHIRT k right hand par "C" or left hand par "L" likha tha. 1ladke ne pucha iska kya matlab hua? ladki boli dhyan se dekh "COOL" dikhega ! BOY:Mujhse shaadi karogi.. GIRL:Kyaaa?? BOY:Achhi film hai Naa.. GIRL:Kutte K Bachhe.. BOY:Wat?? GIRL:Kitne cute hote hai na Bina SEX se pareshan biwi 1 rat "JAN-GAN-Men" gane lagi. Pati:Ye kya kar rahi ho? Biwi:last try hai,Ispe to pura hindustan khada ho jata hai..! There is No Defination of A Good Day or A Bad Day.It All Depends on YOU and Your Thoughts... Either You RUN The DAY Or The Day RUNS You. A Priest is called Father. A Bishop Your Grace. A Cardinal Your Eminence. A Pope His Holiness. But Only a 36-24-36 in a Bikini is called ... OH MY GOD History master was on leave. So science master was asked 2 prepare a history question paper. Students were stunned seeing the 1st question. Describe Jansi Rani with a neat diagram and label the parts.. 'Meri Atma Tumhe Hamesha Satayegi'. Daro mat ye to bas MATHS ka full form ha aj hi pata chala socha bata du! After his first night Bill Gates asked his wife: Darling, how was it?Wife said disappointedly: 'Huh! Now I know why you named your company"MICRO SOFT" !!! Bus chali Jhatka Laga hamara santa ek Ladki pe ja gira Ladki boli battameez kya kar rahe ho ? Santa : ji punjab UNIVERSITY se B.Com.final.. "When you rise up,your friends know who you are!!!" "When you fall down, you wil know who your friends are! One friend : I didn't sleep with my wife be4 marij. Did u? Other friend : I m not sure, what was your wife's maiden name ? "People are not DIFFICULT People are DIFFERENT" If we understand this we can save Meny Relations in Life..! Good Morning. Fantastic Words of Hitler: "Think Thousand Time Before Taking a Decision but Never Turn Back Even if u Get Thousand Obstacles There after. '' Suprabhat Haribol Sadhu Baba- Pregnant Lady se- Jab ye Bachcha paida hoga to iska Baap Marr jayega. Lady- THANK GOD! . Mere Pati to Zinda rahenge na?:) SANTA se intrview me pucha gaya-Aapko kitne saalo ka tajurba hai? SANTA: "Sir, maine saalo ko to 'Try' nahi kiya lekin mujhe 3 saliyo ka tajurba zarur hai. Patni- Tum to kehte the ki shadi ke baad bhi tum mujhe khub pyaar karoge. Pati-sorry yaar, Mujhe maalum nahi tha ki tumhari shaadi mujh se hi hogi. Santa ToLd his FRiEND,"Yaar 1 LADKi Mujko HAS K Dekh rahi hai" Friend - pehle confrm kar,HAS k Dekh rahi hai Ya Dekh k HAS Rahi hai.. SANTA ELECTRIC SHOP ME SALESMEN SE- 2 PANKHE DENA 1LADIS OR 1GENTS. SALSMen-PANKHO ME LADIS OR GENTS NAI HOTA. SANTA-KESE NAI HOTA 1 BAJAJ KA DE OR 1 USHA KA. Lovely thought- death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is when confidence dies inside us while we are alive.. Time decides whom u meet in Life.. Ur heart decides whom u want in Life.. Bt ur behaviour decides who will stay in ur LIFE.. good morning Good evening. Sadhu: we go years without verbal communication.we call it 'MAUNVRAT'...!! Men: we have the same experience, but we call it 'MARRIAGE'...!! Wife - Rat aap daru pee kar gutter me gir gayeHusband - ye sab galat sangti ke chalte hua . 1 bottle sharab thi Hum 4 dost the 3 sharab pite nahin. Teacher to Students: Chalo is sentence ki english banao "SuMen ne kapde pehan liye hai..." Students: "Oh, Shit..!!We are Late...!!" Your personality is something that you created. Once you are aware of that, you could create it whichever way you want. Santa :- Agar Teri Bivi Ko Bhootni Lipat Jaye To Tu Kya Karega?anta:- Mujhe Kya Karna Hai.. Ye Do BEHNO Ka Aapsi Mamla Hai.. ON A HOT DATE: Movie tickets-300 Dinner-2000 car Fuel-500 cofee-500 hotel room-5000 & ur grlfrnd say Shes on Period d fuckng smile on ur face- PRICELES. AMAZINGLY TRUE!! When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new. Good morning Memorable lines:It's notimportantto go to heavenafter we leave..But it isimportantto create heaven..beforewe leave..!! Good Morning. No one in this world is rich enough to buy his own CHILDHOOD & youth back.. ONLY friendship helps to recreate those moments from time to time at no cost.. Ek train accident me 100 sardar mar gaye 1 bach gaya! Reporter ne Usse pucha- ye sb kaise hua? Sardar- jaise hi anouncment hua ki shatabdi express platform no.2 par aa rhi hai, sb platform se utarkar apni jaan bachane patri par aa gaye, lekin train patri pr aa gayi aur sb mar gaye. Reporter- yani aap samajhdar sardar nikle jo patri par nhi utare! Sardar- ji nhi me toh suicide krne aya tha anouncmnt sunkar patri se hatkar platform par let gya tha.... Success without a positive attitude is called luck. But success with a positive attitude is called achievement. "The most beautiful couple in the world is -SMILE & TEARS- They meet very rarely but when they meet, its the most beautiful moment in the world.Gm The world's happiest friends never have the "same" characters..... They just have the best understanding of their differences...Gm Awesome words by Dr. A.P.J Kalam:- "First bench students are intelligent.. Until last bench students don't participate in the competition..." Happy Morning. If you judge people, you have no time to love them. BRAND MenIA-A rich blonde girl, was walking by the river in the wild. Suddenly, she saw a crocodile. She screamed," OH MY GOD! HELP! LACOSTE!" ;-) A Sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND'. But in the exam the essay which came was FATHER. He replaced Friend with Father in the essay and it read: I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR :-) The correct timing to drink water will maximize its effectiveness to the huMen body... 1.Two glass of water 30 minutes before meal will help digesiton... 2.One glass after u wake up help active internal organs... 3.One glass before u sleep will help avoid stroke or heart attack at midnight... 4.One glass after taking a bath helps lower blood pressure... I care Uplease Pass on to the people u care... Good day A lovely logic for beautiful life..! ''Never try to maintain Relations in ur life., Just try to maintain Life in Ur relations. Life is Not About The People Who Act True in Your Presence. It's About the People Who Remain True in Your Absence. . .!! Good Morning Morning greetings doesnt only mean saying Good Morning, it has a silent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day In a college test, a student who wasn't prepared, left the page blank n wrote at the bottom.., "Dedicated 2 my memory, which recently pased away" Gud afternoon. A Hen lays an Egg on the Indo-Pak border. Both start fighting for the Egg. Finally India suggests 'Whoever screw more Women in the other Country in 24hrs wins the Egg' Pakis agreed. Indians go to Pak, screws 1000 Women & come back. Pakis r xcited. They shout "Our Turn" India says "Fuck off KEEP the Egg".! What is extreme poverty? When a beautiful girl is ready to kiss you for only 2 rupees..., . . . . and you have only 1 rupee....!! ;-) Santa ki biwi uske driver k sath bhag gayi, logone pucha Santaji ab kya karoge, Santa-Karna kya hai ab gadi hum chlayenge. "The desire to be extraordinary is a very ordinary desire. To relax and to live a ordinary simple life is really extraordinary ". Happy day.:-) Laugh when you Can , Apologise when you Should , & Let Go off what you can't change.Life's too short to be anything but Happy ! Good morning ! Filmi life aur Asli life me kya ANTAR hai ? Film me bahut mushkilo Ke baad shadi hoti hai, and Asli life me shadi ke baad bahut mushkil hoti hai.! Ek admi bar me drink karte karte wallet mein biwi ki photo dekh raha tha. Bartender: Kya kar rahe ho? Admi: Biwi jab sundar dikhne lagegi to ghar jaunga. Difrence between horror and beautiful nite? Ans. A beautiful nite is when u hug your teddy bear and sleep.... But horror is when it hugs u back....!! Angry Santa to Cardiologist-Did u tell my wife that she has a Cute Vagina Dr-U fucking idiot, I told her that she has Acute Angina - Santa Gaana Gaa Raha Tha- "Aaj Main Upar Aasma Niche" To Abdul Ne Santa Ko Bahut Maara, Bolo Kyun? Kyu Ki Aasma Abdul Ki biwi ka naam tha. :"': :"': : :,,,,: : : :""": : :,,: :,,:ELLO, With This Cool Hello I Just Want To Wish YOU A Sweet G(^_^)(^_^)d morning.... Thought for the Morning Beautiful life is just an imagination. But Life is more beautiful than imagination! Have a wonderful Morning:-) Tom was weeping at a grave: Why did you die? Your death ruined my life. Harry: For whom are you mourning so deeply? Tom: My wife's first husband... Husband & Wife dono market me gaye to Ek Ladki ne HELLO kiya Wife:kaun thi wo? Husband:Tum plz dimag kharab mat karo abhi usko bhi batana hai k tum kaun ho.. Oversmart Wife: If I sleep with ur most lovin close frnd,what wil be the 1st thought that would come to ur mind? Smart Husband: That u r a LESBIAN..!! Santa: aaj muje ajeeb sa msg aya fir mera cell switch of ho gya. Banta : Aisa kon sa msg h? Santa: Batery low. Banta: mujko send kar.. Sabko darayenge. ?Wife working on a PC said: "Suggest a password".Husband said "MyDick". Wife fell down from the chair laughing. Computer has said "Rejected, too short": Bhakt: Baba,koi aisa job batao, jaha muje kam na karna pade.Log apna kaam khud kare, aur muje paise bhi de. SWAMIJI:Jao beta, SHOUCHALAY khol do!:-) Top class beizzati-Baacha DUKAANDAR Se :Suji Hai ?? DUKAANDAR: Han Suji Hai !! Baacha: To galti Kyun ki.? Ek Ladka Gadhe ke Samne Gir Gaya. Ek Ladki Ne Dekha Or kaha Apne Bade Bhaiya ke Pair Chhu Rahe ho.?? Ladka bola: JI BHABHIJI !! Similarity between Men & the alphabet Q . . . . Both are Zero without that little thing hanging down below :) A Men was lost on an island. He decides 2 build a wooden boat. Sudenly a girl cums & Men uses dat wood 4 makng bed. Moral- A Hole can change ur Goal. Why do Friends keep forwarding Msgs instead of talking to each other.?The Reason is that we have Nothing to Say but Still want to be in Touch! Hoarding on Sardar's xerox shop : XEROX DONE IN ALL LANGUAGES A blind asked SWAMI VIVEKANAND "Can there be any thing worse than losing ur sight?" He replied "Yes, losing ur vision".. Good Morning.. Haribol. DOSTANA SPECIAL: What Will GAYs Tell Each Other When They See A Really Hot Girl...?? ? Yaar, Ladki Aisi Hai To Iska BHAI Kaisa Hoga?..!?;-) MOST used Alphabet "A" dosnt appear in spellings of 1 to 999. It appears 1st time in 1000 & continues. Moral: Success requires patience & faith...!!G(.....) Great line by abdul kalam: I am not a "HANDSOME" Men but i can give my"HAND" TO "SOME"1 who needs help,beauty is in heart not in face!! The value of life is realised only after it is lost... A very true statement.. eg: alive chicken -rs 60/kg chicken tandoori- rs 160/plate Possessiveness and anger are part of our life. If u dont show them, you are not giving the chance to ur loved ones to love you more..! Pati:Aaj Khana Tumhari Maa Ne Banaya Ha Patni:Tumhe Kaise Pata. Pati:Roj Khane Me Kale Baal Milte Hai,Aaj Safed Mile He. Ge hb Golden Words By the great philosopher Malika Sherawat........ "RAPE IS NOT A CRIME ITS JUST A SURPRISE SEX...." Santa london k Hotel me murga khane gaya lekin murga ka english wrd bhul gaya.Waitr: wat do u lik to hav sir? Santa: 1 plate eggs dad plz...! A lady died of AIDS bcoz her doctor made a spelling error in her prescription. He wrote - MAKE FREQUENT CHANGES IN MALES instead of MEALS. Beware of Doctors. Two bulls always fight in a person's mind.. GOOD n BAD. Do you know which one will win? "The One you Feed The MOST.." Think! How selfish is the LOGIC of our MIND, it seeks COMPROMISE when we are WRONG, but.. it seeks JUSTICE when others are WRONG !! A health forum speaker asks- "Which food causes the most suffering for yrs after eating it ?" After a long silence, an old Men answered - Wedding Cake. LITLE GIRL went 2 SHOP "jab m badi ho jaungi mujse shadi kroge"SHOPKEPER SMILING" ha kar lunga "lit girl" To apni hone wali wife ko 1 choclate B nhi doge.:-P Nutty Truth: If Women ruled the world there would be no Wars... It would be Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.... B-):-D "The plus(+) symbol was made with two minus symbols; so all negative things can be shaped as positive by our hard work and positive thinking." Good Morning ! What is WILL POWER? Looking into a sexy girls eyes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WHEN SHE IS .. TOPLESS.. "CHILL" SANTA Makes peg of wisky & Tells wife: Le pe isko. Wife after Tasting: Shee! Kitni kadvi hai... SANTA: Aur tu sochti hai ke mai roz aish karta hun. Kaamwali-"Bibiji, apni sari wapas le lo. Jab pahanti hu to aap ko samajh ke sahab mujhe pakad lete nahi, udhar driver bhi pareshan kar jaata hai...!!! Teacher - Tum bade hokar kya karoge..??:-) Student - Shaadi..:-) Teacher - Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge..??:-) Student - Dulha Banunga..:-) Teacher - Ohho, I mean to say, bade hoker kya haasil karoge..??:- ¡ Student - Dulhan...:-D Teacher - Abbe... matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge..??:-O Student - Bahu launga...;-) Tcher - Haraamkhor Tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain..??:-/ Student - Pota..:-) Teacher - Hey bhagwan..;-( Abbe zindagi ka kya maksad hai...??:-/ Student - "Hum do hamare do..." Santa : Meet my wife NehaBanta : Oh I knw her Santa : Grt ! Bt hw? Banta : V used 2 sleep 2gethr Santa :Wat d hell Banta :5 yrs ago in economics lecture Be close with someone who makes you happy. But be closer with someone who can't be happy without you Feel the difference. "Thats life! Good Morning. Teacher: baccho ye btao ki Bharat ka sabse bada tufaan kis din aayega?? Student:- jis din "RAKSHABNDHN" aur "VALENTINEDAY" ek saath aa jayega.. If a BLACK Men Fucks a WHITE lady with PINK condom. Wat wil b d Color of d Baby? Stil Thinkng?? Mumy ko bolo Complan pilaye! Condm se bache nhi hote: 1 kisan fati halat me gaon aaya. Sab ne puchha:- kya hua? Kisan:- Seher me anaaj bech raha tha, "GEHOON-LE-LO..." un kamino ne samjha, "GAY-HOON-LE-LO"... Aisa kaun sa Pakistani player hai jiski date of birth nhi hai? Socho . . . . . Kya hua nhi pata? . . . . . Ans: Umar Gul! ;) : All_izz_well I don't believe in taking Right Decisions.. I just take Decisions & make them Right.. Hard Work Always Pays. Ratan tata A boy got a job in girls hostel..after a month.. Warden to boy: Why u didn't come to take ur Salary? BOY: Kya? Salary b milegi.? What is Globalisation? Nice example is Diana's death. An english princess with an egyptian boyfriend in a gerMen car driven by a dutch driver crashes in a french tunnel while being chased by italian press reporters on japanese bikes,treated by portugese doctor with brazilian medicine. This sms was written by me an Indian on a chinese phone smuggled by a pakistani via nepal.This is called "Globalisation". ;) Ek Ladka Gadhe ke Samne Gir Gaya. Ek Ladki Ne Dekha Or kaha Apne Bade Bhaiya ke Pair Chhu Rahe ho.?? Ladka bola: JI BHABHIJI !! Enjoy Bangkok 3N/4D @ Rs.11750/- p.p. including KOLKATA-BANGKOK-KOLKATA .Air fare, transfer, B/F, coral island & Meny more... "Life Somtimes becomes so selfish that it wants everything...!!" "And while trying for everythng we miss somethng that is worth everything..!!'' GUD MORNING.! Ek Sardar apne Bete se bola: "OYe,ghabra mat. Tu sher ka puttar hai." Beta : "OYe papaji, class me teacher bhi Yahi bolti hai. Tu kisi janwar ki Aulad HaI!'' Oversmart !! Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child BOY:Sorry, I didnt Knw U were Pregnant. Frnd- After 70 yrs u still call ur wife darling, Honey, Luv. Wat's d secret? Old Men: Her name hd slipped off my mind 10yrs ago & i'm very scared to ask wat it is? Son; Papa k office mein roj prayer hoti hai Mom;Yeh to achi baat hai. Son; par papa to chup rehte hai. Sirf unki Secretary chilati hai "Oh my God, Oh my God". A dying grany to her granddaughter-"i may die any moment so i want u to inherit my farm including d villa d tractor d farmhous and al d livestock. Wow said d granddaughter. Thnx grany,i din kno you even had a farm and al ds wealth! Wher is it?? Grandma replies- 'farmVille on facebook' The maximum time we will have to spend in our life is with ourself..... So make yourself as interesting as possible.. Suprabhat. Hb THIS ONE IS A REAL CLASSiC : How do u differentiate between a Cow & a Bull ??? Try milking both of them... The one that smiles is the BULL.. School mein ek failed student k Papa uski class teacher ko kehte hai ki "Madam thoda aap zor lagao, thoda zor main lagaata hu is saal bacha nikal hi jayega...! . . . . . . . . . . . . Wat r u searching no msg today Bharat bandh. Men joins the Navy. After a while he asks shipmates "wot do u do 4 sex around here?" He's shown a wooden barrel with a hole in. Not impressd, he tries it anyway & loves it, so tries again the next day & the next. "Can I do this every day?" "Not Wednesdays" "Why?" "Wednesday is your day in the Barrel.!" BEWARE OF 'EGO' ! It is a sword with two edges- the OUTER edge cuts your POPULARITY.. while the INNER edge cuts your PURITY ! Good morning. Haribol. Best Traffic Advertisement Of The Year- "picture of lord Ganesh with Saying, "Care 4 ur head, not everyone gets a replacement like Me." A very cute but meaningful quote:- We never pay attention to a part of body till it pains.. Dont let it happen in relationships :-) Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. Suprabhat. Haribol. Santa 1st time plane me baitha:jaise hi plane ka agla tyre upar utha, santa pilot ko maarne laga. or bola:main pehle hi dara hua hu or tu stunt maar raha hai.. Why do men cheat? coz they know it is easier to get FORGIVENESS than PERMISSION. Gud evening. Take care. Misunderstndng: Jwlery shop me ek Admi ki zbardst pitayi ho gyi. Why? Usne sales girl se kaha ki "Apki ek ek item gazb ki he Aaj sone ka kya rate hai";-) Wen people see my msgs, they think Im addicted 2 messaging. it's d lovely relationshp whch Im addicted to. Good morning. Share the winning experience with youngsters as they can follow you... Share the losing experience with elders as they can guide you. Good morning. Good News ! Ab Aap iss SMS ke Zariye Apne Mobile Par STAR PLUS bilkul free dekh sakte hain. Wo bhi 24Hours... Yakin nahi hota to ye Dekhiye * + Some funny quotes : 1)Smoking helps u lose weight: 1 lung at a time. . . 2)D world can nevr end TODAY. . .B'coz, it's already TOMORROW in Australia. . . 3)Fools can always ask more questions than wat a genius can answer. EXAMS are conducted 2 prove tis. . . 4)Havin 1 child makes u a parent. Havin two, makes u a Wrestling Match Referee... Wo pal bhi kya tha jab aapko log "KISS pe KISS" kiya karte the. Magar aapki futi kismat to dekho uss waqt aap "HUGGIES" pahena karte the :) Kisi ki burai talash karne wale ki misaal us makkhi si hai.. jo pura khubsurat jism chhodkar sirf Zakhm par baithti hai. Suprabhat. Haribol. Pathan - 5 Saal se SEX kar raha hu hamara Bacha nahi ho raha. Doctor - Ye to badi Pareshani ki baat hai aap apne Partner ko bulao.. Pathan-Javed Khan,andar aao Some people turn to GOD. Some turn to alcohol. Honestly speaking I don't see any difference. Both ways life is being guided by a spirit :) Men outside telephone booth: "Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. You've had that phone for 20 minutes & not said a word!" Men: "Sir, I'm talking to my wife..!!" "We Get Comfort From Those Who Agree With Us, But We Get Growth From Only Those Who Don't Agree With Us !" suprabhat. Haribol. Newly married couple kept havin sex 24/7. They became weak bt didnt stop. They consulted a doctor. Dr said:"Have SEX only on those days of week which have "R" in it, i.e. ThuRsdy, FRidy & SatuRdy. Couple agreed. On Sunday husband asks wife: Darling! What is d day 2day? WIFE sharmate hue: "ItwaaR" Good morning 4 sardaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola. 1 bhi customer nai aaya .. Kyun..? petrol pump was on 1st floor.. Chal ek aur Fir charo ne usi floor pe rest4 sardaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola. 1 bhi customer nai aaya .. Kyun..? petrol pump was on 1st floor.. Chal ek aur Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola. 1 bhi customer nahi.. Kyu..? petrol pump ka board nai hataya.. Chal ek aur Fir charo ne 1 taxi li. 1 bhi sawari nahi. Kyu..? 2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the.. Chal ek aur Taxi kharab ho gayi. Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya. but taxi wahi ki wahi. Kyu..? 2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the.. Chal ek aur Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko kidnap kiya. Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa. warna tujhe maar denge. Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye. Kyu..? bachhe ka bap bhi sardar tha...! Plz phone mat fek dena.... Wife : Do u want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : YES & NO! U.P me baccho ke surname Bacha Agar 1 baap se ho to-EKNATH 2se-DUBE 3 -TIVARI 4-CHATURVEDI 5-PANDE Sab ka hoto-MISHRA or Bap pata na ho to.. GUPTA College girl at fees counter-Sir! Pehle Meri le lo, Sir-2 min ruko, Girl-Arey jaldi le lo fir nahi de paungi mera period shuru hone wala hai.! Greetings!!! Nation is celebrating Rath Yatra, A Hindi Feast for Lord Jagannatha, today. MilkyDwarf, Web Magazine - College girl at fees counter-Sir! Pehle Meri le lo, Sir-2 min ruko, Girl-Arey jaldi le lo fir nahi de paungi mera period shuru hone wala hai.! Silence is the fence around Wisdom. If our Foot slips, we can always regain our balance. But if our Tongue slips we can never take back words. G M LADKE Ne Raaste Me Car Rok Ke Ladki Se Puchha 'Kya Lift Chahiye?' LADKI- 'Nahi Mai 3 Din Se Lift Le Rahi Hu, Aaj Har Haal mein Ghar Jana Hai...... BOY:Tum Shadi K Bad Apne Liye Alag Ghar To Nhi Mengo gi GIRL:Nhi, me aisi Ladki nhi hu Tum Apni ma Ko Alag Ghar Dila Dena RISHTA WAHI, SOCH NAYEE *STAR PLUS+ Bhikari-ALLAH ke Naam pe Kuch de do. Santa 100 ka Note Dikhate Hue-Kya Tumhre Paas 50 h. Bhikari Khushi se, Ji h. Santa:To Pehle wo Kharch karlo, Expression of the face can be seen by everyone.. But the depression of heart can be understood only by the best one.. Don't lose them in life.. Goodday God asked Women: Did I make a Mistake in Designing Men ? Women: It is OK except that the JOY STICK meant for us should be Detachable to avoid misuse. INTERVIEW: Boss-Tumari yogyata kya hai? Lady secy-Type janti hu, sorthand janti hu, file sahi rakhti hu, niymit Mala-D leti hu aur apne flat me akeli rahti hu.! SHARAD PAWAR. SONIA GANDHI LALU AMARSINGH PASVAN MAYA MULAYAM ek BOAT Me ja rahe the....or Boat Doob gaya... btao kaun bacha ? . . . socho.. . . Hamara Desh. Excellent Line:- "Affection shows huMen mentality but, situation shows huMen reality". Good Morning. Have a nice day ahead. Our problem is not lack of Knowledge, it is inability to ACCESS it at the hour of need Do not go after increasing Knowledge. Increase Ur AWARENESS gm HARIBOL. Girl to Santa: Kya shaadi ke baad bhi tum mujhe itna pyaar karoge..?? Banta: Kyon nahin..? Mein to diwana hoon shaadi-shuda aurton ka. All men are millionaires, at least by sperm count,,,,, Funny thing is that even these millions are spent on Women . Lady:Sir,our clerk is sexually harassing me! Boss:How? Lady:Evrytym I pass by he says "Ur hair smells nice" Boss:Wats wrong in it? Lady:He's only 3ft tall. SMS krne k 5 fayde, 1-Mobile ko jang nhi lgta. 2-Time pas ho jata h. 3-Aap jise sms krenge wo khush rhega. 4-Contact bna rhega. 5-Apko koi KANJUS nhi khega. Dark is not Opposite of Light. It is just the Absence of Light. Likeways, A Problem is the Absence of an Idea, Not absence of a solution. Good morning. A very cute but meaningful quote:- We never pay attention to a part of body till it pains.. Dont let it happen in relationships :-) Q:schl /College me ladkiyon ke kitne nam hote hai ?????? Ans:4, . . . . . . . . 1.Meri vali, 2.Teri vali, 3.Teri Bhabhi, 4.Meri Bhabhi..:-) Thought for the Day-Smile is not a single word, it is a beautiful sentence! Speaks More with Less Energy. So keep spreading smiles. MOODS OF A Men: Hungry Horny Sleepy Moral - Men are simple. Banta: Jagah nahi milne se log sex nahi kar pate hain. Santa: Pehli bar mere sath aisa hi hua. Banta: Fir? Santa: Fir ladki ne bataya jagah tango ke bich hai. 'Waiting for opportunity is lazyness'. 'Missing the opportunity is foolishness'. 'Creating the opportunity is intelligence' A trainee in a big multinational company dialed CEO by mistake & said, ?Hey, send a hot coffee in accounts Dept in 2 min? CEO shouted: Do you know with whom u are talking? Trainee: NO CEO: I am CEO of the Company. Trainee in the same tone: Do you know with whom you are talking? CEO: No Trainee said: Thank God....!!! & disconnected the phone!! Sindhi aur Sardar me differance Taxi wala-Saab break fail ho gaya he Sardar-oye koi gal nhi agli baar pass ho jayega Sindhi- sab chhod pahle meter band kar. A cute letter by a little Kid who hates Maths; 'Dear maths, please grow up soon & try to solve your own problems. Don't depend on other..gd day:-) "In the game of Life,it's not important 2 hold all d GOOD relations, But it's more important how GOOD u behave with the relations which u HOLD" ... Height of disappointment: A Women realising AFTER a long search on google that Philip's 21 inch was actually a TV...!! Ragging ke time par ladko ne ek ladki se kaha, Ek sawal ka jawab do- Patna kaha h ? Ladki- Bihar me. Boys- Yahi pat jao na, itni door jaane ki Qa jarurat h. ( '_' ) ('_' ) ( '_') ('_' ) ( '_') Ye Aankhen aaj bhi uss Kaminay insan ko talash rahi hai, jisne kaha tha SHAADI kar lo, Life ban jayegi !!! Greetings! Nation Observes Navroze, Parsi New Year in Zorastrian Faith Tomorrow 20th July 2010. MilkyDwarf, Web Magazine - Life Ka SbseBada Sach "Hazar Galtiyo Ke Bawzud Bhi Aap Apne Aap Se Pyar Karte HO" ... "To Fir Q Aap Kisi Ki 1 Galti Pe Usse Itni Nafrat Krte Ho.!" GUD MRNG.. Five websites whose names went horribly wrong: 1) www.whorepresents.com Who Represents is a database for agencies to the rich and famous! 2) www.expertsexchange.com Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programers can exchange advice and views! 3) www.penisland.net Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island! 4) www.therapistfinder.com Need a therapist? 5) www.powergenitalia.com An Italian Power company! :-D:-D SON-Mummy, Me Tumhari shadi k Baad Kyu Paida Hua ?Pahle kyu nahi? MOM-Tumhe bahar Aane ka Rasta nahi Malum Tha,Tumhare Dad Ne Khod khod kar Road Banaya. The Quantum of Your Problem is Nothing, Compared with Your Ability to Solve them. But.. By Over Estimating d Problems u Under Estimate urself. Suprabhat Haribol Teacher askd Santa: What is d meaning of TAMSO MAA JYOTIR GAMAYA? Santa: Tu so ja maa, main Jyoti de ghar ho k aya. 4 sardaro ne mil ke petrol pump khola. 1 bhi customer nai aaya .. Kyun..? petrol pump was on 1st floor.. Chal ek aur Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola. 1 bhi customer nahi.. Kyu..? petrol pump ka board nai hataya.. Chal ek aur Fir charo ne 1 taxi li. 1 bhi sawari nahi. Kyu..? 2 sardar aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the.. Chal ek aur Taxi kharab ho gayi. Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya. but taxi wahi ki wahi. Kyu..? 2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the.. Chal ek aur Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko kidnap kiya. Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa. warna tujhe maar denge. Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye. Kyu..? bachhe ka bap bhi sardar tha...! Plz phone mat fek dena.... african pj What do u call a negro lady who is not able to hear? . . . . .. . . . . BLACK BEhRRY... :) 'Imitinef Mercilet' is a medicine which cures blood cancer. Its available free of cost at Adyar Cancer Institue in Chennai, Banglore, Trivandrum, Kovai Rama Krishna hospital. Create Awareness. It might help someone.Pls. Forward to as Meny as U can. IF NOT, 4WARD ATLEAST 2 ONE WHO CAN FORWARD MenY.... Friends r like d arms of a clock.Together but unable to meet,even they meet that is for 1 sec.Most imp is they stay conected alwayz.. It's our reaction to problems, more than the problems themselves, that has the greatest impact on our personal well-being. "Santa ki wife: rat ko mobile chrging me mat rakho, Blast ho jayega.. Santa: oye tu chen se soja, maine battery nikal di hai..... One friend : I didn't sleep with my wife be4 marij. Did u? Other friend : I m not sure, what was your wife's maiden name ? Evryday is a Gd dayBt wen i'm xpriencing a day ful of frustrations,i dont cal it a bad day,i cal it an "intrsting"day Dis habit keps me 4m negtiv emotions GM HB Santa: Kal Raat Ko Party mein Maine Ek Ladki ko RAPE se Bchaaya.. Banta: Waah Bhai,Par Kaise?? Santa: SELF CONTROL Yaar SELF CONTROL.. -Smile_ever Udas_never; Speak_ever Gumsum_never; Share_ever Chupana_never; Care_ever Tension_never; B'cos GOD hai na 4ever. Good Morning Jai Shi krishna "JAI MATA DI" Why in every Love Story, Mother agrees & Father disagrees ? Because, Mother knows what luv is and Father knows what life is! Gdmrng! Haribol. Techr-Bina ruke batao U.P. ki C.M kon h? Kutub Minaar kaha h? Shtabdi ki Raftar? Murgi kya deti h? Stu-Mayawati Delhi me 140 km/h ki Raftar se Ande deti hai. Once an angel apears b4 a girl & grants her 3 wishes under d conditn dat her husbnd gets 10 tyms wat she gets. Gal makes 3 wishes: 1. i must b d richest Women. Dis made her hus d richst Men! 2.I must b d most b'ful Women. Dis made her hus d most handsome Men! 3.I mst get a mild heartattack! Moral:Galz r smart. Story ends here 4 girls. Guys,read on. D hus got A hrt-attack 10 tyms milder! BANTA stands up in a plane & shouts "HIJACK." Everyone starts crying... ;-( ;-( ;-( ;-( ;-( . . . . . . Then JACK stands up & replies "HI BANTA!" Men- Patni agar pati ko nouker samjhe to kya karna chahiye, Santa- Usase do chaar ghar aur paked lena chahiye.... Ge Tc Hb. Lalu futball match dekh kar bola, etna sara log futbalva ko lat kahe mar raha hai. P.A:- sir! Gol karne k liye. LALU- Sasuri gol hi to hai aur kitna gol karege.... Always remember: "In life,there r people better than you; There are people worse than u... But there will never be one who is u!" So stay special!!!:-) GM HB Whenever an intelligent Men makes any important decision, he closes his eyes,thinks a lot, listens to his heart, uses his head & finally does wat his wife says! JAI SAI RAM Ap sab ko Guru Purnima ka din mubarak ho..aj ke din he shirdi me Sai ji ki Aarti arambh hui ..May he give you shhradha & saburi always. Haribol. Beat this PJ: How do you cut roads? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ans: By laughing !! Because. Haste haste cut jaye raaste. Gm :-) Fact of Life is That Most People Don't Look For The Truth Of Life... They Only Search For Someone To Agree With Them. Good Morning. Have a Nice Day. Haribol -Define Trust... "Giving someone the authority to destroy yøu completely, but having the confidence that he will never do it.." GØØD morning:) Long back 2 young indian tailors went 2foreign n struggled 2get job.Later they started a smal shop.Their designs bcame popular.They rocked the market nd became rich.Till now it is popular.That is ADIDAS.Their names were Adinarayana and Dasgupta. That became ADIDAS. Same thing happened to Puma. The tailors were Putnanja and Menja:-)And for NIKE too, tailorz were ningappa n kempanna. If i keep on like this, you ll even believe bill gates is Tamilian !! Son: Dad why doesn't law permit us to have more than 1 wife......?? Dad: When you get married son, you'll realize that law is on our side...!!! Without a doubt, Women are the foundation stone of society. But always remember foundations have to be LAID.....! Lady in bed with husband's Boss. Phone Rings Lady:"Yes, OK, Fine, Love You, Bye." Turns to boss, laughs & says :"Sala dhokhebaz, says he's in meeting with u":-D Dedicated to all Girlfriends: Mai aur Meri Tanhayi aksar ye Baten karte hai, Tum hoti to aisa hota, Tum hoti to waisa hota, Aur Agar Tum na hoti to paisa hota Teacher : name 3 kings who bought happiness to ppl lives ? Little jonny : smoKING, drinKING and fucKING ! Be ready to ROCK THE FLOOR On "Friendship Day" -1st Aug Sunday Book Your Seats Now @ Big Ben Limited Couples & girls Entry, No Stags Call - 98******** Always Welcome Your Problems... Becoz Problems Gives You Dual Advice... One, You Can Know How To Solve That, Two, How To Avoid it in Future. Suprabhat. Haribol Judge- U are crossing d limits Lawyer- Kaun saala aisa keheta hai? judge- How dare u to call me saala.. lawyer- No my lord, I said "kaun sa law aisa kehta hai". sharabi full daru pk ghar ja raha tha,raste me Mendir k bahar pujari dikha, sharabi ne pujari se pucha, sabse bda kaun? us se peechha chudane k liye pujari ne kaha ye Mendir bda, sharabi: Mendir bda to dharti pe kaise khada, pujari: dharti bdi. Sharabi: dharti bdi to shesh nag pe kyo khdi? Pujari: to wo ba. Sharabi: sheshnag bda to shiv k gale me kyo pda?Pujari: shiv bda. Sharabi: shiv bda to keilas parvat pe kyo khada?Pujari: parvat bda.Sharabi: parvat bda to hanuMen ki ungLi pe kyo utha? Pujari:hanuMen bda. Sharabi: hanuMen bda to ram k charno me kyo pda?Pujari: ram bda. Sharabi: ram bda to ravan k pichiche kyo pda? Pujari: are mere bap tu bta kaun bda? . Sharabi: is dunia me vo bda jo puri bottle pike bhi apni tango pe khada. She Is Kidding... Santa: Translated Into Punjabi... "Woh Bache De Rahi Hai" ... - BANTO Zebra Crossing K Black & White Patte Par Idhar-Udhar Chal Raha Tha! Socho Wo Kya Soch Rha Hoga..? . . "Sala Ye Piano Bajta Kyu Nhi" "Two places are most precious in this World... The Nicest place is to be in someone's "HAPPY THOUGHTS" & the Safest place is to be in Someone's "PRAYER".Gm How does a sardar dial 9844498444. Just Think it ?? First he dials 98444 & then with great pride he presses "REDIAL". Wat an Idea Sir(dar)G.... Munna bhai:Ye "AUTOMATICALY" kya hai? Circuit:Bole to auto me ladki ja rahi hai. Jis k sar pe ek b baal nahi hai, bole to simple hai bhai..... AUTO-ME-TAKKLY. Be more concerned with ur character than with ur reputation. Ur character is what u really r while ur reputation is merely what others think u r.! Suprabhat.HB Santa bulb k niche muh khol kar khada tha. Kyun? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Kyun ki doctor ne kaha tha ki aaj tumhara pet kharab h, light hi khana. Try dz Its fun think of a no. btwn 1-9.Nw +5 -2 +5 -3 Divide by 5 +8 Wrte dt numbr on a paper... Fold dt paper... & uska Plane banake udao. Zu Govt- Jiske 5 Bache h use Ghar degi. Snta k 3 the,usne Wife se kaha-Padosan k 2 bache mere hai unko lata hu.(Lane k bad)Apne 3 kaha gye?WIFE-Jnke the wo le gye. Subah aankhe khuli to pyari si subah boli "uth dekh kya najara hai" maine kaha ruk pahle salam bhej du us dost ko jo is subah se bhi pyara hai... Happy friendship day Dictionary says that 'Open' & 'Close' are Opposites..!! But lessons of Life teaches that We are 'Open' only with those with whom We are 'Close'!! GOOD MORNING Santa half pant pehan kar Cycle chala raha tha,. . . . . . . . . Toh ab kya woh bhi utaar de..?? Har baat mein joke chaiye.. kamino., Jaan Lelo Santa Ki... Sardar washed his underwear & hung it 2 dry near neighbour's panty & put a note on it: bhabi: plz remind me 2 remove my underwear when u remove ur panty... Did u know that? 1.The pleasure of making love in the dark is 10 times stronger than when the light is on? 2.Taking bath at same time with ur partner increases ur love by 20 times? Advt by:Ministry of Electricity and Water supply of India. Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.? At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all? led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months togo back? to earth and be anyone you wish to be.The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she 's gone.The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.??"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just? doesn't ring a bell."The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.? St.Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her? and says."No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laidby 1,400 men in 6 months.":) If we both exchange one rupee, we both have ONE rupee each, But if we exchange one good thought, we both have TWO good thoughts. Good morning! Best traffic advertisement of d year: Picture of Lord GANESHA with a saying.. "Take Care of ur head, not evryone gets a replacement like me...!! "As long as we Don't forgive people who hv hurt us, They occupy A rent-free space in our Mind." Munna cuts sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess why? ----------------------- To avoid the side effects! Sex is like a pack of Potato Chips. Once you Start, You cant Stop.. No wonder, D worlds largest selling Chips are called- . . . ...LAYS... -Cute Sayin: " If Sum1 Waits For U it Dosnt Mean that they Hve Nothing Else To Do., It Just Means That Nothing Else is More Important Than U...!! Gud Morng. More money is being spent on breast implants & Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly populatn with perky boobs &huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them! IT MAY BE LATE 'TRY' is a small word that can make a big Difference... If we Try, we only RISK FAILURE.. But.. If we don't TRY, we will ENSURE FAILURE! Good day Grandpapa: Teri teacher aa rahi hai ja chhup jaa. Grandson: Pehle aap chhup jao, apki maut ke bahane main 2 hafto ki leave le liya.! Sardar fixed his marriage on 2nd march. He sent invitation to his friends like this-"Marriage is on march 2nd. Plz come on 1st night, We all will enjoy" Boy:hey girl,wats ur name.?? Girl:"Amitabh Bachan ko dhakka maro" Boy-Means what Girl:"PUSH-PAA" Men-"God, please give me EveryThing so that I can enjoy life" GOD replied-"I have given u LIFE to enjoy everything. Full forms;- WIFE= Without information fighting everytime. LOVER= Loss Of Valuable Energy & Rupees. FRIEND= First Relationship In Earth that Never Die. Smile is d best credit card.. Bcoz-: 1.Acceptd worldwide 2.Auto reload 3.Unlimitd usage 4.No payment 5.Makes every one happy.. So keep Smiling! gm Life means- missing expected things & facing unexpected things.. When u r right,no one remembers u.. But when u r wrong,no one forgets u. Good luck Shakespear said dont worry! cos if u r worried u get a wrinkle, So y dont u smile n get a dimple. Always smile n be happy. WIFE HUSBAND SE-> Wife:-''Mere irade bade nek hai aap hazaro main 1 hai''. husband:-''Dimag ke hum bhi DON hai Bewafa pehle yeh bata, baaki 999 kaun ha SenSational quote abut ATTITUDE: "I can prove, that My FrIendS are PerfeCt Bcoz , I'M The BeSt ExAmPle Of Thier ChoiCe...!!";-) A nice thought: AlwAys Listen To your Elder's Advice... + Not Because They are AlwAys RIGHT... + But Because They have More Experiences of "Being WRONG". Gm Hb *Cute Husband's Love Quote abt his Wife*"Evn my child started 2 WaLk widout anY SUPPORT..Bt,My Wife stilL holds my HanD whiLe waLkinG.-

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